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Seasons Greetings & Twas the night before Christmas
by
snoopy
Just wanted to wish everyone a happy and safe holiday season!
The following is a very special
@ puppy_logic
rendition of,
'Twas the night before Christmas
.
=====
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
The dog chased the cat, and the cat chased the mouse!
The humans were nestled, all snug in their beds,
While the dog and cat paw-thump'd each other's heads!
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
The cat gave a yawn; it didn't care what was the matter!
The dog ran to the window, its tail wagging to and fro,
If 'twas a derp squirrel, he'd see tracks in the snow.
The moon was full high, when to the dog's keen eye did appear,
A tiny husky-drawn sled, mushed by a guy drinking a beer!
A little plump old driver, held a whip and a stick,
''Animal Cruelty!'' I barked. ''I don't care if you're St. Nick!''
More rapid than greyhounds, his huskies they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
Now GRIMMY! Now GROMIT! Now SNOWY! Now SNOOPY!
On PLUTO! On TOTO! On SCOOBY! On DROOPY!
To the top of the kennel, out by the shed wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!
So up to the house-top the huskies they flew,
With the sleigh full of chew toys, and St. Nick too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The whining and barking of each little woof.
The cat and the dog stopped their chasing around,
As St. Nicholas came down the chimney with a bound.
He was dressed all in tatters, from his head to his feet,
Looked like he'd been fighting and was badly beat.
I guess that's what happens when you break into homes,
Cats will claw at you while dogs protect their Milk Bones!
A bundle of chew toys he'd flung on his back.
The dog's tail was wagging as he opening his pack.
His eyes were all blood-shot, his nose red and runny,
An allergy to pet dander, 'Tis by no means funny!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a bow,
As the dog sat and started to nibble his toe.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his lips,
As the cat clawed his leg, all the way up to his hips.
His face, broad and round, nicely matching his belly,
It got that way from beer and donuts filled with jelly.
He was good to all animals, but a clumsy old elf,
He'd stagger and fall down in spite of himself.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the food bowls; then turned with a jerk,
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
He made sure the house pets were truly well fed.
But they turned up their noses! The food St. Nick brought,
'Twas the same crappy kibble their keepers bought.
So shrugging he stuck a finger up inside his nose,
He gave a wiggle and up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to the huskies gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him proclaim, ere he flew out of sight,
''BELLY-RUBS TO YOU ALL, AND HUG YOUR PETS TONIGHT!''
© Christmas 2012 by
@ puppy_logic
.
Viewed:
6
times
Added:
11 years, 4 months ago
25 Dec 2012 16:25 CET
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