My birthday is in 4 days, but I have to try hard to see much when I reflect on the year I just spent at age 24. I had graduated, but felt lost enough that I never quite found my way to employment.
Meanwhile, Midwest FurFest is in 28 days. I've only been to Anthrocon ('08–'10), which is nearer but so hectic that my interest shied away a bit. I've long had a desire, half a plan and all of sufficient cash to go to MFF, which would even give me room to drop by some Chicago friends afterward, but that's… maybe a minimum of $135 on transport alone, and I've hardly the guts to pick myself up and do anything daring lately (but travel prices haven't gone up just yet, so…). I've only earned money on a few odd events: some design work related to my completed AA degree in Graphic Design, along with miscellaneous chores, but all for family and their friends. I'm a saver though and have largely kept the few hundred $ from that. (I also have five thousand or so in savings I'm not touching, on the side.)
The number that nags at me and tells me, life's too short for this, is “2 years”: I have several dear friends out there, but if I skip this one I'm surely gonna have idled that much of my youth away in all of their absence. Maybe that's just my fault for not knowing the locals. Meanwhile, it's already been 2 years since I've seen some of the friends I miss the most (who are generally Chicago-area folks…).
Whatever I do next… just better be meaningful. I've been flipping through this & that in search of meaning: (gentle naked fox play on just this 1st link, others only suggestive)Painting (or just plain coloring others' sketches) in MyPaint, Doodlingitup in DrawSomething, sculpting in Sculptris, composing* in PXTone, and much more for learning's sake, but never enough of any one thing…. If I could get my head into doing commissions, it would give me a lot more structure. Even just donating work to someone who deserves it would feel good. I know I'm in far less need of cash than a lot of others I've seen around here.
Just, don't worry for my safety or anything. I have all the shelter I need. I just feel embarrassed for taking it.
I welcome any critique on that entangled perspective of mine. Even simple compliments on the example links above would help cheer me up for my birthday.
