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An idea for a serious story (Details inside, comments appreciated.)

So the idea is that there is a guy in college. He's afraid of failing out. His father never seems to approve of him, he has next to no friends, generally he feels unattractive, blah blah blah, you get it, he's a sad sack.

However, one night he has an amazing dream. A dream where he has friends, where he gets excitement, there nothing bad or sad, everything is great. As he starts to wake up, he hears a voice.

"You don't have to leave, y'know? You can stay here, with us. No longer will you have to worry about sadness, for the rest of your life, you'll be happy."

What the person said is true. He has a choice, stay awake, and live a life that could possibly only get worse, or fall asleep, and live a happy life, though it won't be long (Being in a coma and all, he will probably only live until the plug is pulled) Time moves slower in dreams, so to him, it will be years. Still, it wouldn't be real.

Let's not forget, something else beside his self wants him to stay in the dreams, and we don't know if it's intentions are good or not.

The story will span a semester, during that time he will learn more about that entity, who or what it is to the protagonist, and stuff like that.

The story will take awhile, and I do not know if I will be the best to portray the story. While I write, I will be looking for any artists who would like to do a comic about it, that can hopefully portray the imagery better then I can.

Now here is where you come in.

This story, will take time. and I don't want to write something no one will be interested in. I would like to hear your feedback, on rather of not you would read it.

another thing is, the story will be open to multiple endings, and I will let YOU decide on the ending. If you want it to end with him staying awake, he will, if you want him to sleep, then he will, but I want to know that you will care enough for the story, and the character, to ask rather or not he should stay awake or go to sleep.

So please, leave a comment. Should I do this, or not?

Viewed:	38 times
Added:	11 years, 9 months ago 28 Jun 2012 14:25 CEST

13 Comments on this Journal

Leave a Comment...

gaki

11 years, 9 months ago

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i think you should :3
its an interesting idea ^w^

RokukeShiba

11 years, 9 months ago

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I approve :)

BastionShadowpaw

11 years, 9 months ago

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amazing plot i really like it!.. now you picked my curiosity i think i have to read this story or never sleep peacefully again.

CyCy

11 years, 9 months ago

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I like stories with multiple endings. And the plot is rather interesting. I say go for it!

Felios

11 years, 9 months ago

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I suggest that you watch the twilight zone episode A Nice Place to Visit, It has a similar story and might help you to write a really good piece.

ChanceProwlers

11 years, 9 months ago

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@ Felios

Never rea;;y watched Twilight zone, so it saddens me to know this isn't entirely original.

Also, I don't think I will, the more I lean my story is JUST like something else, the less I want to do it.

Felios

11 years, 9 months ago

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@ ChanceProwlers

Its no exactly like it the only reason I told you about it is because it might inspire you to writ in a direction you may have never thought of. And don't put down your work because its similar to other things, Even Shakespeare's work is based off older story's and people still find him great.

DOtter

11 years, 9 months ago

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@ ChanceProwlers

There are so many stories in the world, nothing is entirely original any more. (Ecclesiastes 1:2-10) Don't worry if you're doing a new take on an old story, that's really all there is. Just write it!

I like the idea. Your main challenge would be to separate dream sequences from waking. Normally the dreams would be in italics, but that would make for some awfully long stretches of italic text. I'm not sure how you'd do it. BTW, if I were doing this, he'd have at least one Happy Place dream that he wakes up from before getting the offer to stay there. Give him time to be tempted before tempting him. But that's just me.

zeroSilver

11 years, 9 months ago

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i approve can't wait to read it

wolfstar124

11 years, 9 months ago

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sounds great! ^^

KazaruKisaragi

11 years, 9 months ago

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it's a very interesting idea. just a tiny cliche but a good kind. i think it'll be a good thing for you to do this and i think it'll turn out great. so i so go for it and write ^_^

ThisSeasonsColor

11 years, 9 months ago

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I am lucky to get on! xP Anyways, this kind of stuff (Entities, ghosts, or anything related) Isn't my favorite thing. BUT it is a great plot. You should go for it!