This journal is probably going to be just random ramblings, but I would still like to voice my concerns over the current social climate. I do believe having this conversation is a good thing, but it just seems to me that the conversation is pretty one-sided. It seems to me that you either agree with the recipients of said harassment, be they women or men 100%, or you're a misogynistic asshole who's promoting rape culture. It's not really a conversation if one side is deciding all the rules, right?
Bear in mind that as a bi male who enjoys sexual advances from other men, it's very difficult for me to fully understand the demands of the other side, or sometimes the personal boundaries themselves. That is of course a good reason to have the conversation, but at the same time, I don't respond well to being lectured on proper social behavior. I want to have input, and I want to be taken seriously. I want to be treated as a person, not a simple creep just because I want to know if sexual interaction is a possibility.
So here's my side. I understand that people trying to raise awareness on sexual harassment mean well, but I also think they're inadvertently leading us to a kind of ideology where people could conceivably be punished for their thoughts rather than their actions. We here on Inkbunny know exactly how that tends to work, right?
"No means no."
This right here is of course a no-brainer. If someone says no, or tells you to stop, you should stop. I think we can all agree on that one. But at the risk of sounding sarcastic, apparently that's not enough. People are now making the argument that a person should wait for consent to make sexual advances. I both agree and disagree with this. I mean I can see how for some people, if the first thing you say to them is that you want to fuck them, I can see how this might turn a lot of people off. Still, where does this boundary end? I've been noticing this trend of the boundaries being pushed further outward, bit by bit, to the point where it could some day be unacceptable to even talk to someone at all, unless they approach you first and say "hey you can talk to me now".
Touching, yes, I would say that any touching should require consent first. Describing what you want to do to someone, yeah I can kinda understand that too in most circumstances. Then we get into the idea that it's sexual harassment to compliment someone's looks (or in the case of the furry fandom, sometimes just their fursona's looks count). At this point it seems to be entering a bit of a grey area. No I don't believe it's required that the recipient take that as a compliment, and should be able to tell someone that's not okay, but what about that initial comment? Is it really sexual harassment to compliment someone's looks if they haven't specifically said that that's okay? This is where I think the one-sided conversation is starting to push us in a concerning direction. Where do these arbitrary boundaries stop? Are they going to keep pushing outward until you are legally required to keep a 10 foot distance between yourself and anyone you're sexually attracted to? Maybe it won't get that far, but I hope you can see my point here.
Again, as a bi male who enjoys sexual advancement from other men, whether I give permission first or not, I don't like the idea that people might one day be afraid to talk to me for fear I might call the cops, or vice versa. I don't want a world where everyone is afraid to be attracted to someone, and misses a chance to interact with someone who might be receptive because of this idea of "rape culture" that's being planted in our heads.
I just can't buy the idea that inadvertently making someone uncomfortable is the same as harassment. Just because someone takes it too far doesn't mean you should assume that everyone is going to.
| Viewed: |
120 times |
| Added: |
6 years, 9 months ago
05 Jul 2017 19:37 CEST
|
|
|
