So one of my biggest fears appears to have been taken away. Many of the most tragic moments in my family have been from the long-term effects of cigarettes. I have watched family member after family member suffer sometimes for many years from complications from smoking cigarettes. It's not exaggerating to say that as soon as one family member would pass away, the pain would start for another. Over my life I have unfortunately gotten so used to seeing this happen that I often can't find the... emotions that would seem natural when it happens time and time again.
The thing that got to me most of all though, was that my mom is a smoker, and has been my entire life. She managed to quit once before, but when she and my dad split up, she picked them up again and hadn't put them down again since. One of my biggest fears throughout my life was the inevitability of having to watch my mom suffer.. and suffer.. almost endlessly.. before finally losing her in what seems to me one of the most agonizing ways to go. It's been on my mind my whole life, and as long as it has been, I could never come to terms with that inevitability. Mom has tried gum, patches, hypnosis tapes, I think pills as well, and nothing worked. She was always trying to cut back, then lapsing. It was an accomplishment for her to go 4 hours without smoking.
Now that fear is being removed. A few months ago, I decided as a final and seemingly futile effort to fight against that inevitability, I bought my mom a vape. I didn't tell her because I knew if I had tossed out the idea to her, she would say no. I expected she wouldn't like it, and would put it down and go back to cigarettes, but we didn't really have anything left to lose. I got her a 12mg nicotine juice with her vape.
She didn't like the one I had got for her, but instead of dismissing it, she went online and bought her own. She also got her own juice, with 6mg nicotine. Now she's smoking ONE cigarette a day. Holy fuck, ONE cigarette a day! it looks like she's on track to put them down for good, and I'd be so happy if she just transitioned over to just vaping. Nicotine itself isn't really the problem, from what I understand. It's all the poisonous shit tobacco companies put in cigarettes to get it into your system faster that seems to be killing people. However, she's not stopping there. She wants to quit nicotine too. She's planning to finish her bottle of vape juice, then go down to a 3mg, and then quit it completely. I couldn't be more proud of my mom right now, and so SO happy that I probably won't have to watch her suffer like so much of our family already has.
I'm not going to lose my mom to cigarettes! ^_^ A life-long cloud hanging over me has been blown away
| Viewed: |
79 times |
| Added: |
6 years, 10 months ago
24 Jun 2017 20:28 CEST
|
|
|
