I've always had a negative outlook on life in general.
When I try to make a contribution, something happens to make it a bad idea or undo it.
Negative emotions affect me longer and they feel more real than anything positive.
I know that due to my ASD, my emotions get to the point where I wish I couldn't feel anything at all and that I'm just too weak in the head to ever be completely independent of anyone else.
Attempts to encourage me or cheer me up always sound false or sarcastic. It always hurts when people say I can do something when I know I can't!
It's like, no matter what I do or don't do, it'll never matter in the end. Some people think that finding that there's no purpose to life is liberating. It makes me feel like I should give up on doing anything. After all, it wouldn't matter anyway, even if I did do it.
That's how I feel. Everyday.
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6 years, 10 months ago
26 May 2017 14:27 CEST
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