Hello everybody! It's been an age and a day since I've really said much of anything, and that bothers me, because I don't want to become a mysterious hermit artist that loses touch with their watchers completely and barely posts. That's lame as heck for me!
So here's the scoop; I've been doing a lot of thinking about my art and what I want out of it. While talking with a friend, I realized that if you look at my gallery, you wouldn't really be able to tell much about me, what I'm into, who my characters are, anything. It's almost entirely commissions, and something about that really caught my attention as a thing I'd like to change. That said, I also really enjoy taking commissions, some of the things I've had the most fun with are projects I've worked on with other people. And of course there's the whole "I need to make money to survive" thing, blah blah blah. But I look at other artists galleries, and I always love when they have little doodles and scrap comics of their characters just doing their thing, or when an artist is really into a video game and they draw fanart, usually saying "I should be working but I just couldn't help it!". I'd like to have more of that from myself. I don't know what sort of change I need in my workflow to make that happen, but even just realizing it is a good first step, I think.
I've also been dealing a lot with that feeling of needing to wait to do something until it's the "right moment". Whether it's posting journals or art, drawing personal art, reading a book, even playing a video game for fun, I keep getting trapped in the false thinking of needing things to be just right for me to do them. I want to do my best to break out of that, and throw myself into things until I finish them, like I used to.
And on top of those more personal battles, it's just been hard to deal with the culture of being online lately. Everything is political to the max whether it belongs there or not, and it feels like no one can have a single opinion without being called out as problematic or hateful. It's stressful, to say the least.
So yeah! Um. Overall, I'm doing well, my battle with anxiety is going better than ever despite the above, and I feel pretty damn good about where I'm headed in life. I'm going to try giving myself more structure to my work week so I post more and stream more. I hope I can keep that up, and be kind to myself if I miss a day or two. And I hope you all are being kind to yourselves and others as well! Make sure you're drinking water, it's gotten quite hot outside very suddenly where I live.
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6 years, 11 months ago
19 May 2017 20:12 CEST
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