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Malachyte

How do I everything

Hello everybody! It's been an age and a day since I've really said much of anything, and that bothers me, because I don't want to become a mysterious hermit artist that loses touch with their watchers completely and barely posts. That's lame as heck for me!

So here's the scoop; I've been doing a lot of thinking about my art and what I want out of it. While talking with a friend, I realized that if you look at my gallery, you wouldn't really be able to tell much about me, what I'm into, who my characters are, anything. It's almost entirely commissions, and something about that really caught my attention as a thing I'd like to change. That said, I also really enjoy taking commissions, some of the things I've had the most fun with are projects I've worked on with other people. And of course there's the whole "I need to make money to survive" thing, blah blah blah. But I look at other artists galleries, and I always love when they have little doodles and scrap comics of their characters just doing their thing, or when an artist is really into a video game and they draw fanart, usually saying "I should be working but I just couldn't help it!". I'd like to have more of that from myself. I don't know what sort of change I need in my workflow to make that happen, but even just realizing it is a good first step, I think.

I've also been dealing a lot with that feeling of needing to wait to do something until it's the "right moment". Whether it's posting journals or art, drawing personal art, reading a book, even playing a video game for fun, I keep getting trapped in the false thinking of needing things to be just right for me to do them. I want to do my best to break out of that, and throw myself into things until I finish them, like I used to.

And on top of those more personal battles, it's just been hard to deal with the culture of being online lately. Everything is political to the max whether it belongs there or not, and it feels like no one can have a single opinion without being called out as problematic or hateful. It's stressful, to say the least.

So yeah! Um. Overall, I'm doing well, my battle with anxiety is going better than ever despite the above, and I feel pretty damn good about where I'm headed in life. I'm going to try giving myself more structure to my work week so I post more and stream more. I hope I can keep that up, and be kind to myself if I miss a day or two. And I hope you all are being kind to yourselves and others as well! Make sure you're drinking water, it's gotten quite hot outside very suddenly where I live.
Viewed: 136 times
Added: 6 years, 11 months ago
 
MeganBryar
6 years, 11 months ago
I can totally understand the need to focus on commissions to make a living, and I don't think anyone can fault you for that. But I'd love to see more personal art from you, whether it focuses on your interests and hobbies, or on your characters. Not to sound greedy, but more of Alex or Nikki would be great, should you ever feel like drawing them. Mostly, though, I think that working on things for yourself here and there, even if was just the odd doodle, might actually be good for you. Commissions are lovely and it's always interesting to see what your clients come up with, but I think any artist should take a little time to work on what they enjoy, just to keep themselves interested and motivated and to keep from burning out.

I definitely feel you on the whole politics thing, too. There are times when I wish people could just chill out an hour or two. I have my opinions and my little crusades, just like everyone, but sometimes it's nice to just step back from everything, too. I'm here for the furry art and to maybe make some friends here and there and I hope that I can use my time here to maybe help make someone's day a little brighter. I'll pay attention the politics again when I log out.

I'm glad that you're doing better with the anxiety and I hope that everything will continue to get better for you. Here's hoping everything will be running smoothly before you know it, and thanks for letting us know what's going on!
Malachyte
6 years, 11 months ago
Seems you share my feelings on politics pretty darn closely. I have stuff I care about for sure, but man, there's a time and place and it's not "everywhere, every moment"!

I certainly plan on drawing more Alex, and Nikki is bound to show up as well, though I've been taking a bit of a break from drawing him (I was doing it constantly for a while it felt like, ha ha). Thanks for the kind words and support!
LobaDeLaLuna
6 years, 11 months ago
I have the exact same issue, but Ive also come to realise that many fans while they adore your style and commission work, posting personal work make people see you more as a person and it can help a lot! I even started posting personal sketches because I hated how my gallery was mostly commissions and I was like " Wait. Its MY gallery, I can post whatever I want!!" and now I post a lot of my doodles x3


ID LOVE TO SEE YOUR PERSONAL SKETCHES AND DOODLES <3 you have such a cute style.
Malachyte
6 years, 11 months ago
Thank you! And I agree, I love seeing personal most of all from other artists. So I want to provide that as well!
Mylen
6 years, 11 months ago
By all means, feel free to focus on your own personal projects! It can be really liberating, and I find the artists that do take part in that tend to be on the more content side of things.

As far as the whole political online environment thing goes, the only advice I can give is kill 'em with kindness, which would work nicely for ya since you're a very nice person.~ People can't be toxic if there's nothing to contaminate.
Malachyte
6 years, 11 months ago
Aw, thanks <:3c I definitely try to be as nice as I can. There's enough mean people out there, no need to add to that mess.

I'm looking forward to doing personal projects for sure! I just hope I remember how, ha ha.
Joseph
6 years, 11 months ago
So glad to hear you're doing well! I've only been on your streams a couple times, but it's always so chill, and really good fun!

Being kind to ourselves is something us anxious people really should do more often, so hear hear to that! clinks glass

Have a peaceful day, and keep it chill!
Malachyte
6 years, 11 months ago
Thanks! I really try to make sure my streams are a chill and welcoming environment. I hope I can keep it up <3
LemmyNiscuit
6 years, 11 months ago
Will love to see more original work. Creators need and should account for a balance of personal creativity and expression.

That 'waiting for the right moment" feeling is hard to pin down. I think it's just a form of procrastination. I get it, too. >.<;

I try to battle it by doing just a little bit every day. Maybe I don't get very far, but eventually I have something, and I can be happy with it.

Good luck with your plans!
Malachyte
6 years, 11 months ago
Yeah, finding that balance between commissions and personal art is really tough. I'm sure I'll figure it out in time, but I wish I had it figured out now, instead :p
LemmyNiscuit
6 years, 11 months ago
The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago.

The next best time is today. :)
jhonbob
6 years, 11 months ago
" I've also been dealing a lot with that feeling of needing to wait to do something until it's the "right moment". Whether it's posting journals or art, drawing personal art, reading a book, even playing a video game for fun, I keep getting trapped in the false thinking of needing things to be just right for me to do them.


I have been struggling with that same feeling for the last few months myself. It is a hard mindset to break and I'm still trying to figure out how.
Malachyte
6 years, 11 months ago
It's a tough mental trap to deal with. What I've been finding helps is a combination of forcing myself to do even 5 minutes of the thing I wish I was doing, and to keep my mind in the present moment. If I find myself wasting time on tumblr instead of playing the cool video game I like, I get in the habit of asking myself "Am I enjoying this? What would I rather be doing?" I sort of catch myself, and give myself a reality check.
Niara
6 years, 11 months ago
Heya Mal!  It's good to read an update again, and first and foremost I'm glad to hear that the more important things in your life are going well.

As far as I was aware, your galleries do have plenty of your own characters in them as well; you just also have a lot of commission work too.  One small thing you could do, that should be fairly simple and might help a little bit, would be to sub-gallery things, so that there's a separate folder/section for your personal artwork and personal characters, apart from your commission work.  That way you'd be able to more clearly see a nice collection of your own stuff and be reassured.

Take care of yourself Mal!
-Niara
Malachyte
6 years, 11 months ago
I have been meaning to clean up my submission pools for a while now, goodness are they a mess. I know I have random doodles that are for me strewn about in there, but there's a definite lack of anything really exploring a character's personality, or ref sheets of them, etc. That's more what I'm talking about *nods*
LeLoup
6 years, 11 months ago
You do what makes you happy! I'm sure it will be great!!
Malachyte
6 years, 11 months ago
I certainly hope so!
NeksusCat
6 years, 11 months ago
You're an awesome artist and person! Though, I'd really love to know you better, and your characters. It's really fun to see personal arts. ^w^
Good luck to you and be happy! ^_~
Malachyte
6 years, 11 months ago
Thank you! I'll do my best to meet this little personal goal of mine, and hopefully that'll mean you all get to know me better too ^^
Nightdancer
6 years, 11 months ago
Seeing you streaming more often would be awesome!
Reserve a special day for yourself, where you draw an image for yourself (first! - queue comes after that)
Personally, I think that's important to still be able to enjoy drawing. => so, it is not always work,work,work
Malachyte
6 years, 11 months ago
Ooh, that's a good idea. And yes, I definitely want to get myself streaming more! I'm planning on doing weekly streams again, probably Thursdays. I'm going to really push myself to stick to that *determined face*
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