Hello my friends. furs, and probably just followers who just wanna see art and dont care about the artist haha.
if you have known me for a while on here, odd's are you know a little bit about me and my phobia's. Nothing else truly frightens me or brings on heavy Anxiety more then potential health issues and the idea of having to go see Doctor's. be them Dentists or any other. While i try to avoid them at all costs, if it's truly clear something is wrong or if im in pain, then i know when to bite the bullet and make the appointment. Strangely enough. Even talking about it here is uncomfortable. I think the whole idea of what scares me about it all is the lack of control itself, maybe combined with facing my own mortality and feeling of vulnerability.
I truly wish i knew the secret or had the mindset the rest of the world does when it comes to check ups, physicals or dental appointments. Most people generally think nothing of it and just can either look at it like a jury duty summons worth of annoyance or on even weirder days even look forward to it. i just don't understand why i've got this rational or irrational fear. Maybe it's because for most of my life i've avoided Doctors and know deep down i haven't really lived a healthy life style. and the fear of going in after all this time waiting for them to tell me i could have something potentially fatal is not my idea of a good time. Ah yes, i forgot how my fears also extend to that of Fatal diseases from Cancer to Std's. granted i'm sure Nobody would like to get those and would like to avoid doing so. so im pretty sure that's a rational fear that i share with others. Anyway, let's get onto what this is all about.
I woke up a few days ago with a really bad tooth ache. id felt the subtle pain from it before but not as bad as this. and it became apparent that well since the head and nerves are all connected that this pain was also causing the small headaches. To my Surprise i still had some wisdom teeth left in my mouth and thats the one causing me the grief. I made the appointment and went to see the dentist and one of my other problems i already knew i had to deal with was high blood pressure which at this point is pretty much confirmed that i've got. i'll be going to another doctor come the morn to see what i need to do about this.
Fortunately for the past month i've decided to make some life changing choices anyway to better my health. i've routinely gone to my gym making use of the membership and have done well to rid myself of unnecessary junk food. getting rid of Soda's and replacing them with flavored water's or vitamin waters. anything but just straight up soda. It's an uphill battle that wont be won overnight im sure.
im on medication now for the tooth and the infection it's caused. the stress of all of this has me just exhausted mentally and physically. the Sad news is nobody here understands how i feel and are very insensitive about it.
at the end of the day. what i want and need is positive reinforcement from people i know or friends that can pretty much assure me that what im going through isn't as bad as my mind is making it out to be. and encouraging me, rationalizing that what im dealing with isn't fatal and can be dealt with. when it comes to all other things in life, i can deal with it pretty well. but when it comes to health trouble. it's clearly my kryptonite.
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7 years ago
28 Mar 2017 08:28 CEST
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