As everyone is aware, spring break madness is upon us, and on that note I want to warn everyone going to the beaches to party keep a sharp eye for a menace called the saber-toothed crotch cricket. The cricket is known to have fangs that range from 1/2" to 1" and prefer nude or nearly nude beach goers.
"
This is obviously fake news, but tell me in the comments where the reference came from.
