Today I am celebrating the tradition of Thanksgiving with my family. It is a time-honored American tradition to pause and remember what we are thankful for in our lives as well as reliving a whitewashed version of history when our ancestors arrived here several hundred years ago and said, “Gimmie that. That’s mine, ‘cause I licked it,” which is still to this day the most American phrase that exists in the world.
According to legend, way back in the 1600’s, the first whiteys got tired of being told what to do and announced, “Fine! I’ll go start my own country! With beer! And blackjack! And femboi otters that look smashing in panties! In fact, to hell with the country and the blackjack,” and left in a huff slamming the door for effect. A group of them piled onto a ship and with arms folded and ears laid back, they set off to live the way they wanted to, only to discover that sea travel without stewardesses or shuffleboard really sucks.
After several months of seasickness, no internet, and glory holes with splinters, they arrived at the wrong port and immediately said, “Fuck this, I’m getting off and don’t even think about asking for a tip.” Once in the new land, they did exactly what they had been trained to do back home which was to wait around and starve until someone showed up and made dinner for them – thus the tradition of Thanksgiving was born, along with whining that the fucking coffee better have real cream and not that powdered crap.
Today, the holiday is a time of getting relatives together from vastly different political ideologies and pouring alcohol on them until someone either passes out or we go into ‘Sudden Death’ which a metaphor for someone actually dying from repeated contusions with a turkey carcass and Aunt Emma’s semi-solid gravy. In my family, we do shots of scotch every time some moron is stupid enough to say something political and remind everyone that Uncle Bubba and his 12-gauge are both loaded.
So what am I thankful for? Hmmm…
• My lovely furry friends, watchers, and supporters here on Inkbunny and throughout the fandom. Seriously, you guys are the best and I love you!
• Otters, naked or in briefs
• Scotch
• My parents - who know nothing about my stories here and never will and so help me if one of you tells them I will do terrible things to your balls
• The cuteness of cubbies =P
• My liver, which surprisingly has not ejected itself from my scotch-filled body and run screaming in terror
• Boys in general, because yummy
• The love and tolerance and overall comradery I have found in this fandom that makes me feel so happy to be a part of it. <3
So to all my friends, both furry and… um.. ‘bald’? ‘shorn’? ‘fleshy’? *shrugs* To everyone, I wish you a very happy holiday and may it be filled with food, love, family, and those you want to snuggle. And thank you for making me feel so loved and appreciated.
Oh, and that cute, semi-nude panther with the great ass over in the corner? That’s mine, ‘cause I licked him =P
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7 years, 5 months ago
24 Nov 2016 17:42 CET
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