Me and Relationships by Selene < Journal | Inkbunny, the Furry Art Community

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Phazon

7 years, 6 months ago

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-quietly offers hug-

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ Phazon

Thanks

TepTepgi

7 years, 6 months ago

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-hugs and pets-

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ TepTepgi

Thanks

darkrusty

7 years, 6 months ago

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in the relationship thing we have much in common

i was never in the place to get a girlfriend, i get only broken hearts >_> to much now im still a bit cold in my chest

and now im also at this point to say, look what you get maybe someone will be with you someday v_v

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ darkrusty

*nods* and that is OK

AJDurai

7 years, 6 months ago

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I know those feelings. I've only had 3 relationships since the age of 12, and I'll be 37 next month. My last one was almost 7 years ago and didn't last too long, due to my mother getting sick and me having to move back to help out some.

Now I would like a relationship, but with an undiagosed anxiety disorder and other problems, I sometimes have a hard time talking to people.

Keeran

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ AJDurai

Honestly, Anxiety is a bitch. and I even had to do my personal take on it. As difficult it is to manage it, it takes a lot of practice to overcome.

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ AJDurai

me too but I try and it helps when I talk with my friends

ShadowedEmber

7 years, 6 months ago

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The good thing is, you dont always NEED another person to make you happy. No reason to force yourself to chase something you dont need. If it happens, it happens. if not, you sound like you are still happy with yourself. :)

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ ShadowedEmber

I don´t need one (at least not right now) and I´m quit content with my life

esanhusky

7 years, 6 months ago

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Yeah, pretty much me. People are so needy, and seem to think you have to just be the one everything for each other, and that's not my style at all

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ esanhusky

Nah a little bit snuggling helps me staying up and allright
and it is enough for me

esanhusky

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ Selene

I'm the same. Mostly a hug in the morning and a hug at night is all I really need.

My last attempt at a boyfriend was the type that was constantly sending me texts and couldn't just be together, it had to extremely intimate, not even just casual contact, and 5 seconds after meeting, I was his lighthouse in the dark, his compass in the woods, his rope hanging off the cliff, etc, etc, yada yada yada.

Mogura

7 years, 6 months ago

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as someoen gettign 31 next month, dont need to have a family to be happy, as someoen grew up in a troubled family, my parents stuck together "for sake of the children" there were lots of trouble fighting and yelling. . im not that much if a family personl and dont feel the need to have one of my own. i enjoy quiet times in the afternoon. i tryed relationships many many times and always left with a broken and tormentet hearth, stolen wallet and thrust issues... after many trys i realized i was most happy when i had silence around me.

be happy what you have and make the best out of it, when you enjoy what you do and how you do, there is no need to change

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ Mogura

nope there isn´t and yes the whole brokenheart is an old friend
for the moment I am happy and content
and that´s what matters

Keeran

7 years, 6 months ago

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Edited 7 years, 6 months ago by Owner

Honestly, Anxiety is a bitch. and I even had to do my personal take on it. As difficult it is to manage it, it takes a lot of practice to overcome.

Keeran

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ Keeran

whoops I meant that to be a reply to AJ

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ Keeran

yes it does
I had my share of people with anxiety in my life (I don´t think I have such problems) I´m just a bit unsocial in some aspects

Keeran

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ Selene

I will say as far as relationships go, It's not abnormal to want your own space. When you find that person you really like, you of course have your moments when you want time to yourself. But if you feel invested into that person, you eventually desire them every now and then and they will with you.

In the end, there is no rush. you shouldn't pursue starting a family let alone a relationship unless you feel the need to. And it's like I say with anyone in a relationship. Find people with like interests and start off there.

Also, never say "never" because confidence is key, and you never know who you might attract either. Your low-maintenance trait may be favorable to someone. The funny thing about relationships is that it happens. Nobody really orchestrates how one starts, but if you really look into yourself, I can guarantee you there's a lot more to offer than you think, and you should take more confidence in yourself, even if you don't want to be with someone right now.

runei

7 years, 6 months ago

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I always prescribed to to "do your own thing but stay loyal" mindset. Might be why I've never had a gf. Sigh. I live by a mostly chillax lifestyle where I'm not going to push for awnser's, and I don't get all jealous, and I'm there when they want to talk.

Sadly all the women I've been interested in have someone. :/ I just want lub and cuddles and some girl to talk to and stuff. lol... xD

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ runei

I know that feelings get them often in the springtime
but I can´t say that I really miss someone in my life *shrugs*

runei

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ Selene

Yeah... but there is always that nagging craving for it. I drown myself in books and games to ignore it most times... work certain has destroyed any chance of wanting to do anything on time off. Always so tired and worn out

Keeran

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ runei

Funny thing is, I'm quite laid back too, and am quite passive when it comes to pursuing relationships. But confidence is key. If you like someone, ask 'em out if you know them Just say you're curious about how it'd turn out and would want to know how it would turn out. But be honest in what you want in a relationship, and they'll be honest with you.

Right now, I've been with my GF, Desphiria (on here) for a little over 2 years, and we have our moments, but we're hitting it off well.

runei

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ Keeran

I wish it was that easy. I don't meet a lot of girls my age that aren't taken. I'm not in my 20s anymore. XD

Naxus

7 years, 6 months ago

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Considering how long marriages last now a days it's really hard. Alof of people have at least one diverse in their life time before finding the right partner. I fell the same way and I'm in early 20's. It's very hard with society today to fine someone that shares and loves things about you and for you to do the same. It's very hard. At the moment I'm not interested in broken relationships and focusing on me right now and my future. Sure I'll date here and there but when it comes to it. I won't be considering a family or marriage till later. And a hug and a kiss to you Selene my friend.

wolfinforrest

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ Naxus

I love this community and society of furries. We're all unique and different and that is something you don't find outside of a community like this.

For me... Sadly it's not that easy. I don't talk about it much, but if it was that easy to confront problems like anxiety, people would be "cured?" from it earlier and easier. People aren't. Why? Because it's not easy. Scientists also sadly are more interested in finding cures to physical illnesses like... Crazy examples, but Cancer, or a broken leg. They stay away from the mind and we don't know nearly as much as we need to from it.

I've been "antisocial" since early childhood. I've had mild depression since pre-teen, more major depression since mid-teen. Social anxiety diagnosed at 14. Ongoing analysis for Bipolar and/or BPD. It's just... Always been a long, hard battle for me fighting with my brain. Nothing against you Selene, I love you and you're great. But from someone, like me, who... Has to deal with this s**t from day to day, it really gets to you every now and then.

But, I'm not saying my world is all bad... I'm actually celebrating year 1 of being in a relationship next month with my boyfriend. He understands me and my problems and he's got his own ofcourse, but we're doing great together.

I think I've gone beyond the meaning behind what I was trying to say... xD I get lost sometimes. But yeah! Don't give up either, things do get better. x3

Robbii

7 years, 6 months ago

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Considering this day in age, I don't feel I should care about having a girlfriend. I accepted that relationships are too complicated and that no one is going to be honest and understand logic. I don't know anyone who could do that. As previously stated a few comments above, I'm in a troubled family just as well. Logic don't seem to get a good reputation in my family, especially when you're right, you're wrong still. My "mom" is /soooooo great/ my "dad" is /soooooo great/.

Anyways, the only way I'd be with someone is if they said so. Screw this mentallity that the guy have to make the first move. It's anyone's game, it's anyone's move to make something happen. I hate that you are pressured by this society to do something that isn't even their businesses and get judged by the littlest thing. So much Bullshit, so much.. Just so much. I have no faith in humanity unless something come down from heaven and strike the idiots.

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ Robbii

ohhh yes that is true

CoconutJoe

7 years, 6 months ago

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The dude abides..

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ CoconutJoe

*nods*

skyboxmonster

7 years, 6 months ago

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I can relate to several points on this

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ skyboxmonster

A lot of people I know can relate ^^

graymuzzle

7 years, 6 months ago

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Hey, if you are happy where you are, doing what you are doing then that's fine!
I'm old now, and went through the children thing. Truthfully, parenthood didn't change my life. Been married to Mrs. Muzzle for many years- going on 27 now. We work together, and almost always carpool. We have separate offices at work. When we are home, we pretty much do our own thing. There are things we do together- eating, travel, parties, and there are times we do our own thing- travel, clubs, meetings, even cons. Sometimes we go together, sometimes I go with others.
just being 'with' someone doesn't mean that you are together all the time. I'll be at meetings all night, tomorrow night, then I've got the dentist an hour away Wednesday. Then I will be home until Monday.

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ graymuzzle

Sounds good ^^

zyfer

7 years, 6 months ago

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obviously he doesn't know about your current relationships.... with your waifus (if any) :)

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ zyfer

sweltering

7 years, 6 months ago

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The thing with relationships nowadays are the "rules" around them. Actually that's with all of adult life.

A relationship should be a certain way, your life should be, the way you decorate your house and even the type of car you drive..should all be this perfect thing like so many people your/our age.

It's all bullshit tbh.
Same as you, I dislike to have people around me all the time. This ain't weird at all, 70% of people are easily introverts. Actually, I'm a really outgoing person but I just like my me time.

That sort of crap doesn't make you bad at relationship. You just need to find someone that accepts that and leaves you be for a large quantity of your free time. Plenty of them around, but they are all pretending to be like expected from them.

This, btw, is why so many get divorced. You can only act for so long before you run out of acting energy.

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ sweltering

Ohhh yes
and acting is just that acting

LycosDevanos

7 years, 6 months ago

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I'm much the same, while the idea of having a partner would be lovely, the reality of it leaves me thinking it wouldn't work. Though my reasons are trust issues as well as needing my own space to just shut myself away, sometimes for days on end. I've been single for about 9 years now, though I do occasionally wonder how things would be different if I was in a relationship but I've come to understand that the way I am would work best being single, even if my dream of being a father never happens. Who knows, maybe one day I'll meet someone who works with me, but for now I'm fine as I am. So do lose hope, you may also find someone.

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ LycosDevanos

Maybe one day but so far I just keep going ^^

KimbaLion

7 years, 6 months ago

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it isnt easy to be a furry cub and live in a human world =^~^=

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ KimbaLion

too true

SyncFormGale

7 years, 6 months ago

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You can be a lone wolf and have a productive relationship.

A common misconception about relationships is that it is a tie between two people, you have to be together like, all the fucking time.
That's simply not true, love is a thing that keeps others together, but it isn't a tie between two people.

Look, I know why you're saying this, you need the space or whatever, but you can easily do that in a WORKING relationship, and those are hard to come by.

Sooo... Yeah... Blah

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ SyncFormGale

Love is acommon ground the rest always needs work ^^

AlexanderValentine

7 years, 6 months ago

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Honestly, just find a friend that you agree with a good bit, and kinda live with em.

Heck, I'd rather live with a good friend l like and can easily be myself around.

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ AlexanderValentine

can work

AeylinFaith

7 years, 6 months ago

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It's okay to have alone time, it just needs to be clear to one another when you'd want/ need that and to be accepted. I doubt you'd be bad at a relationship and everyone has positives and negatives, generally I tend to be a bad conversationalist but more of a listener, sometimes I can ramble on and on while at others Ill just listen, wich can be pleasend as disturbing.

I'm sure that there is someone out there that perfectly matches you and your needs or at least comes close to that, not everyone is the same and therefore there are different matches :)

On the other hand, it's perfectly fine to be a loner, I'm quite the same tough i'm trying to become more social, in the end, the only person you need to live with your whole life is yourself, so as long as you know how to entertain yourself it's cool right?

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ AeylinFaith

totally and I am happy with my life so far

Labyrias

7 years, 6 months ago

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Edited 7 years, 6 months ago by Owner

I fail to see the problem here.
Its nice to explore in mind and fantasy, the possibilities of having a relationship, but (personally) i think that these ideals and reality hardly overlap in today's world.
Being an introvert is just one side of the coin. Im heavily antisocial, but even i could imagine myself next to someone. The catch is, that in today's ego driven, self centered world, the type of people whom you could just as much as TALK about a serious relationship, is desperately low.

If i could go on a limb, i would say you can imagine yourself in a relationship too.
You have your preferences, your wishes, your ideals, the concepts which would harmonize with you and your personality to form a happy, long term bond between two people.

But meh... listen to me ranting... as i said: I fail to see the problem.
The question of being in a relationship at this point is a stereotypical joke, with people making it sound as if it was something mandatory like having functioning organs, and you would be some sort of alien or a nut case if your opinion didnt match that of the majority.
Well... i beg to differ there. Its nothing mandatory.

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ Labyrias

Nah no problem there
Just wanted to rant a bit

salun

7 years, 6 months ago

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Ill be your femboi fran

Selene

7 years, 6 months ago

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@ salun

hehehe

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