I had a huge fight with one of my best friends and now i may have ruined it forever. I have a side of me i keep locked away so that nobody can be hurt by it, and i let it slip tonight.
I have never been this real with you guys, but i want to share this in hopes i can repent for the damage i did to my best friend. All over a stupid fan game, it esculated to something that i wish never happened. I was so caught up in my own damn opinions that i never considered his. I did the STUPIDEST thing and tried to block him while he was trying to explain why i was mistaken. I hurt him on a personal level because that's the only time i ever just blocked someone mid convo.
I don't know if he'll ever forgive me, he most likely will not, but that's his decision.
This isn't the first and last time this has happened either. I have Asperger's syndrome and sometimes that can lead to out of control emotions. It's kind of like that one fox in Naruto, except in real life, a beast i keep locked behind my cheerful personality, waiting for any sigh of stress. I become a completely different person, someone who enjoys making people upset, who loves to make people cry. This is my Hyde. My Demon Fox, my Monster.
It's a daily struggle, to keep my emotions in check. The worst is that if it gets really bad, i could resort to physical violence, AND I WANT TO AVOID THAT AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.
So hopefully i can keep this monster away as long as possible, but as history has told me, he'll be back in some way, i just gotta prepare. And to the friend i hurt so much, i can't express how sorry i am.
That is Gamecube5500's aka Daniel Joseph Sebak's Story.
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7 years, 8 months ago
08 Aug 2016 11:30 CEST
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