It's been five months since the events of December happened and I'm still rebuilding what has been lost. The destruction of what was my world was total and only now am I starting to close some of the gaps and fill in the cracks from what should have been a fatal response. To loose that much and know that it's not coming back, for me, is an instant death sentence. But I had too much to live for, too many people who would be devastated in what could only be described as a selfish act of cowardliness and poor judgement. I stayed strong and held on as the world I knew blew up like a Michael Bay film. Fire and destruction seemed to last for days and days until everything was a pile of ash and rubble. Fifteen years worth of collecting up in smoke in a matter of seconds.
But this is not who I am. I am not one to lay on the ground and accept defeat. I rose up from the destruction and took what was left to begin rebuilding. Yes, there were casualties and many things I once had will never be recovered, but what did survive will be part of my new beginning. Starting with a new direction in life that is more profitable and hopefully more plentiful with opportunities. More chances of me making my goals in a timely fashion instead of this hope and pray tactic that I have been using. Luck has no place in where I'm going, but it can tag along if it can be useful.
If I can take care of it myself, then I will do it myself. Up until now the major machines of my life have been run by my parents. I will be taking ownership of these machines and operating them myself. This will mean less time for others in my life, at least until I can get everything automated and iron out the bugs. Sometimes the biggest obstacle in the way of our goals and dreams is ourselves. For too long I have been relying on others to get things done, now that way of life has begun to fall apart and it is time to reverse the damage.
So this is a new start, a new chapter in this we call life.
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8 years ago
16 Apr 2016 04:47 CEST
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