Yea, so I've been silent and mostly AWOL for quite a long time now. Guess it's finally time to speak again.
Not going to go into great detail so let's just say that real life, mine as well as a few others that I hold near and dear to me within the fandom, has been kicking me in the teeth and a few other parts of my anatomy for a while. Short of it is that I have not been in a good place to accomplish much in the way of writing, or just about anything else other than breathing.
I have found myself surrounded by a vast and deep darkness for many months. Part of this has been depression from the many things I have lost over the last couple of years and beyond my control. Some of it I have brought upon myself. As some of you may know, and others may have guessed from my writings, I am a practicing pagan, Wiccan to be more precise. As such I strive to repair and maintain the balance of the cosmos, or at least that tiny part that I can. Over the last several months this has brought me to delve into the lest than light side of my beliefs, a practice that comes at a cost as do all things that I do. Part of that cost has been a near total lack of desire to write either my own stories or the stories on which I collaborate with others. For this I do apologize to the faithful weirdos that follow my stories, I am trying to do better and get back to my old self and my beloved writing.
To those I hold most dear to me that have weathered the storm along side me I thank you more than I can possibly put into words. I know over these last months I have truly lived up to my fursona and been a rather viscous, obstinate, and all around unpleasant bastard. I could easily throw several hundred pages of a thesaurus worth of descriptive words to sum up how much of an asshole I have been lately. Yet these crazy bitches and bastards have put up with me and not thrown me in front of a bus, (which I think they may have thought about and would have been justified in doing so).
Simple summation is that with things in other peoples lives at long last beginning to even out again I took the last few days and went totally silent to everyone. This time was spent in some very serious meditation and personal realignment in an attempt to regain my sanity, my focus, and my desire to get back to doing one of the few things left to me that I have been able to find peace, tranquility and joy in. I know that I'm not completely there yet but I am far closer than I have been in many, many days. The outlines, ideas, dialog etc. is there. I'm just still working on getting it from my head to my paws and onto the digital page. It's getting easier and hopefully soon I will be flooding you again with my keyboard vomit, if you think you can stand it. The bear is fighting his way back and has no intentions of giving up just yet, too many stories yet to be told for that to happen.
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8 years, 7 months ago
21 Sep 2015 18:49 CEST
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