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Whitehair

RMFC 2015 Day 1 Ramblings of a drunk mutt

NOTE: this will be better edited when I am sober and not on a smart phone.

Over a decade ago when I as still in my late 20s/early 30s I was afraid I was too old to be a part of the Denver/Boulder furry community. There was a nice wolf a few years older than me who convinced me I was wrong.

Fast forward a few years and a barely legal fur I yiffed with told everyone I got drunk and force myself on him. Even back then I couldn't get hard when drunk. To make matters worse this artist claimed he got HIV from me. To this day I remain HIV  negative but that did not matter to the local community back then. It was relayed to me by someone I trusted that many of them wanted me harmed over this, including the wolf who convinced me that I was NOT too old. Rather than cause more drama, I simply faded into the shadows.

It turns out this guy was never HIV positive and just wanted the attention. But I was too hurt and avoided most of the furs I knew back then, especially the wolf who had convinced me that if he was welcome that with me being younger I surely would be welcome. For a time I kept in touch with his mate but we drifted apart due to life and all that.

Well tonight I spoke and drank with both the wolf and his mate. For a brief time it felt like the lies of the past had never happened. Once again I was made to feel like I was welcome and maybe even forgiven for the falseities I had once been accused of.  

What do I make of this?

Am I truly forgiven for something I didn't do, or am I just being treated with hospitality as those of my generation and before were taught to do?  Either way, for a while it felt good to be back with the drinking, talking, and going on as if all the lies and hatred had never happened.

Who knows... maybe it was all a fabrication and the wolf who once welcomed me never did turn away and it was lies others told to me to ostracize me. No matter what, for now I will chose to believe I am forgiven and truly am welcomed.  Tomorrow I may crawl back into my cave and wait for Father Time and Mother Nature to come to tuck me in bed that final time, but for a brief Period tonight I am happy to feel forgiven for a wrong I never did.

Viewed: 18 times
Added: 8 years, 7 months ago
 
Whitehair
8 years, 7 months ago
We will push the button by LittleBig

We will push
We will push the button
Hey! Ho! Nuclear bomb! Big bada boom big motherfuther bomb
Hey! Ho! Nuclear bomb! Big bada boom big bada boom
Hey! Ho! Nuclear bomb! Big bada boom big motherfuther bomb
Hey! Ho! Nuclear bomb! Big bada boom big bada boom
We will push
We will push the button
Boom
We all deserve it
foxboyprower
8 years, 7 months ago
That's really fucked up to falsely accuse someone of that.

Good thing it's behind you.
foxboyprower
8 years, 7 months ago
Maybe if there were some kind of community investigative news team, there could be someone people could look up to in times like these when they're looking for someone to believe.
Whitehair
8 years, 7 months ago
It sounds like a good idea, but it would probable cause more drama than it would solve in most cases.
foxboyprower
8 years, 7 months ago
Yeah. It's not like they would ever have much evidence to go off of. X3
Stumpycoon
8 years, 7 months ago
Like I said by email before, you are in no way the wrongdoer here.
Kupok
8 years, 7 months ago
It takes effort to maintain enmity for a long time.
I am sure one as aged as he intimately understands this.
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