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sakurajlim

This BS life

No matter what i do as of recent, i seem to be thrown curve balls in life. Most recently i have been hit so hard with that ball right in the face that id rather lay down and die then continue on. I am loosing those who mean most to me and i do not know why. My partner who means the world to me, many friends or who i thought were friends because of my depression over my partners kidnapping and now most recently a dear friend of mine who i care about very deeply and i have no clue why.

I am sick of loosing those i feel mean the world to me, i am sick of this bullshit whore i have to take the beating and feel like i must stand alone while those around me continue on. I try hard, and even give up my own health and well being for the sake of others, but when the hell are others going to start carrying me a bit for once ? Have i not given up enough in life to protect others, my own happyness and well being. I have been friendly, open minded, understanding and caring of most if not all people i deal with daily but yet it seems thats not enough. I am not a perfect human being, nor a perfect friend, nor a perfect furry but i like to think i try hard enough that i would stop loosing those around me who i care for the most.

At this stage the only thing keeping me held togeather is the hopes that i will get Flamey back one day and Pernax. Each day though it seems i am slipping more and more and its getting to the point soon where i feel i just cant hold on any longer. I will fight to protect and be here for Flamey and Pernax but i feel i am getting no where, and rather going backwards in what i felt was an ok life.

Sorry for this emo journal but things are starting to build past my breaking point and at this stage i need to vent before i tip over.
Viewed: 28 times
Added: 9 years, 3 months ago
 
crazykinkyotter
9 years, 3 months ago
The best thing you can do is hang in there. Though I'm just some random person on the internet you have my support and hopes that things will turn around. Stay strong!
sakurajlim
9 years, 3 months ago
Thank you very much dear I am trying but with each blow I feel I'm slipping each day.  :( thabks though.
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