Removed the last journal after much thought and conversation with a few good friends. For those who missed it I was on the verge of stopping all commissions and/or keeping them private for the foreseeable future. It had been on my mind for the past few weeks but was spurred on by a friend saying he would stop getting commissions, too.
I'll keep this short, but a number of things caused me to react so rashly.
1. Biggest was the self image. I got in a fight with someone who I knew well and respected, and they took a shot about my commissioning furry artwork, clean and adult, as a gross financial fuck up. Ordinarily I'd shrug that off but coming from this person made me question if this was what I really should be spending money on.
2. Financial Concerns. Though I'm no longer in any danger, I was in a bad way when it came to work and money. This can be traced back to the I Hate Tuesdays journal, where something went very wrong that clouded my future. Though I usually budget my fun money well there have been times when I spent too much and feared doing it again.
3. Artist Fees and Trends. Lately I've felt that it's getting more and more expensive to get artwork. YCHs were running rampant with some artists and preferential treatment seemed to be everywhere to the point if you wanted to commission an artist you had to impress them above all others. And I didn't want to deal with that.
4. Lack of Interest. Sometimes when I got something it felt like people didn't enjoy it and it made me wonder if it was because my ideas sucked, so figured it'd be best to keep them somewhere private.
Regardless, I talked to some friends about it, the biggest help being a friend at work. I work at a metal shop for Drilling Companies, and this guy is in his thirties and as far right as you could get, but is a huge steampunk fan and makes his own stuff since he's a machinist. I told him what I spent and he reassured me that I was handling my finances fine and that work wasn't going to stiff me on anything, along with the "fuck what anyone else thinks" speech he gave.
So that's pretty much it, sorry I even brought it up but I felt like I should make this journal to show you where I was coming from.
Sorry about that. Carry on.
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9 years, 6 months ago
09 Oct 2014 00:38 CEST
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