In my heart there is a secret I have, that is a souless being, death to emotion and life. This secret is covered by the burning heart of content, love and redemption, but, when all is gone, and I lose my heart, I feel nothing...he comes from the darkest corner of my heart, destroying me and everything with it. This darkness is apart of me, he doesn't feel for anyone, doesn't care for anyone, this is what I fear the most, as I never wanted to hurt ,he is me, but the worst of me, I never wanted to destroy our relation,ship, I never wanted to hurt you, I'm so sorry, I just wish there was some way you could ever forgive me but I know that will never happen, I know you, I know you best, that's what kills me, for how long I've been there, I screw this all up...I'm damaged...I would want to be put out of my misery...by only you...but you did this when you left me and one month later, you are with another...please..forgive me...one day...please...or....please end this misery, I could not live another moment like this, I can't live like this anymore, kill me, kill him, kill us all, don't steal our hearts any more, don't let us live in the past anymore, end out misery, please, please! WHY ARE YOU LEAVING US LIKE THIS, END US NOW, NOWW DO IT, NOWWWW!!! WE CAN'T TAKE OUR LIFE ANYMORE, LIFE IS A CURSE, END US ALREADY, WE CAN'T STAND SEEING THIS SIGHT ANYMORE, WE CANNOT FEEL, OUR HEART IS TAKEN, WE ARE TRULY UNDEAD, AND ONLY WISH FOR WHAT WE ASK!! YOU LIE, YOU. DON'T CARE FOR US ANYMORE, JUST END US NOW!
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Its been a week since I had a strong feeling of anything connected to my previous love, she gave me so much as I did for her, but a lot had got damaged, me especially, she did say she wanted to be friends, but our chats only ended in a lot of pain, having these feelings is painful...I had the thought of sharing this with her one day...I hope I do...I want to know if she likes these...really these are for her, they can be painful yes, but that is a emotion to be loved, that's why I love "love and pain" mix, they give you the most raw emotion you can get, its a lovely feeling to feel like this for me...and it remind me of my father who died wheni was 10, painful, but I love thinking of him...I always cry when I thinkof him...I loved him so much, but never could be true to it, curse me....- ok....yes that is me, I wished for that, I'm past that but I'm yet to be done with life, I had always wanted to leave something behind, and I won't leave without doing such a thing, I wanted to share that with my last love, but my hopes faded, so I could only hope for the furure to hold better things for me.
Thank you for reading this!!! ^^ I hate it when I get emotion and type heh ^^"
