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Whitehair

Realities of Life

Yesterday, Ralphheart passed away at the top of the stairs as the venerable age of 13½, which for a 130 pound dog is amazing.  BJ was holding him as he crossed over to the Summerlands.  Flidhais has him now until his next life.  She treats all animals with unconditional love, and blesses those of us who love them.

Earlier in the year we lost Tom ( https://inkbunny.net/journalview.php?id=82794 ), which is still eating away at me.  He is so missed in nearly every aspect of our lives.  

Recently I went through the ordeal with the infected cat bite that put me in the hospital and basically robbed me of my summer.

Friday I just got back from VMworld 2013, which was itself a great experience, but during which I had inflamed tendons on me feet and could hardly walk and I also had my work laptop stolen and had to spend most of Wednesday dealing with police and security guards.  

Now I am told by my mother than my last remaining grandparent (and my favourite of them all) has nearly lost her mind.  In her words, "[Grandma] is some better in the pain dept. but is out of it mind wise most of the time.  She thinks that everyone is stealing from her and she is hiding things then wants us to find them knowing that we have taken them. Mornings she is some better but by mid day she is gone again. she does not know who anyone is and she yells out if she can’t see someone. It takes two people to lift her out of the tub and she fights them all the way. I would put in hair curlers and she would pull them out just as fast then be upset if I did not try again. this is just the point where she is at in her mind. She is still crying out for her mother and grandfather. When asked why she is crying or hollering she says she just wants to see if anyone would come. She’s just lost. Her back has a compression fracture but is doing as well as expected."

My sex life has been mostly non-existent this year, despite having two loving partners that live with me and a third who will be joining us at the end of the month.  For a sex addict like myself, this is the cruelest torture.

Even though everything mentioned here is a reality of life, I just can't stop crying. There has been too much death and pain in my life this year.  I believe that the good that was supposed to happen this year has all been tainted... all of it.  From the minor to the major, it is all corrupted or diminished in some way.

I am very tired now, and not the kind of tired that sleep can help with.
Viewed: 18 times
Added: 5 years, 3 months ago
 
Stumpycoon
5 years, 3 months ago
It is a lot but you'll lead your pack through it and they will be there supporting you.  The nearby ones and distant ones (like Marko and I).  
Frynge
5 years, 3 months ago
we love you, Johnnypup.  I wish I could ease the pain... these things... just aren't the kind of pain that someone like me can do much about though, except to remind you that we all love you.

you know, if you ever need to talk, though... for you I'm only a phone call away.
MarkoTheRat
5 years, 3 months ago
There's nothing I could say that would add to this comment. You have said everything I wanted to say, only better. Thank you.
foxboyprower
5 years, 3 months ago
We'll be here for you. You have my sympathies.
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