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CashewLou

I just lost my big brother

My oldest living brother passed away today just after 3:00 PM.

He had been transferred to Iowa City last week (he lived in central Iowa his entire life), and was scheduled for a liver transplant, but everything in his body just seemed to shut down on him. His doctor had the entire family summoned to his bedside this morning, and most of them were there with him when he passed. He was only 60 years old.

He was not just my big brother, but he was my best friend. I remember being only 5 years old or so--when he was 17 and s senior in high school--and no matter what he had going on, he would sit down and watch Sesame Street with me. Only we never called it that; it was always "Bert and Ernie" to us.

Ever since then, we were very close. He taught me how to drive. He supported me when my parents kicked me out of the house when I dropped out of college--and he supported me strongly when I returned to earn my degree. He was proud of me, no matter how much of a fuckup I was. His love and support was constant and unconditional.

He despised folks who were over-sentimental. I remember when we had a wake for my mother; he and I were sitting out on the back porch and reminiscing, drinking beer and laughing at our pleasant memories of mom. There were several uptight old bitches who didn't think our behavior was appropriate, but fuck them. That's exactly what he said, and that's exactly what I say now. I already miss him like hell, but will do my best to focus on the positive memories I have of him.

He practically never said "I love you" to anyone in his life. He thought the words were cheap and rarely heartfelt. I should have known something was very seriously wrong when I spoke to him late last week, and those were his last words to me.

I love you, too, big brother. And I will miss you.
Viewed: 68 times
Added: 4 years, 11 months ago
 
Freckles
4 years, 11 months ago
I'm sorry for your loss....
RabidRaccoon
4 years, 11 months ago
:(

I wish you all the best in this difficult time...  *Hugs tight*
Darkflame215
4 years, 11 months ago
I'm sorry for your loss.
Rainbowwuff
4 years, 11 months ago
Ahhh. Sorry for your loss. :( *hugs*
dravenbunny
4 years, 11 months ago
*hugs*
Kooshmeister
4 years, 11 months ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. :(
KNIFE
4 years, 11 months ago
He sounded like a hell of a guy. Have a drink for him for me. *hug*
JeffyCottonbun
4 years, 11 months ago
I am sorry for your loss... :-(
KodaO
4 years, 11 months ago
My condolences.. We're here for ya buddy..
shadycat
4 years, 11 months ago
I can only imagine. I just did, and I'm crying, which I don't do. There are no words. They are cheap and tawdry things unworthy of the moment. Yet I can't help thinking of three lines from the Bard that may approach adequacy:

Your cause of sorrow
Must not be measured by his worth, for then
It hath no end.
AndyBunneh
4 years, 11 months ago
*hugs you so tight*
ChanceProwlers
4 years, 11 months ago
i'm sorry for your loss. I know you don't know me, but I'm here for you dude.
darren255166
4 years, 11 months ago
he had been a great brother, hugs!
Live on strong and happy cause that would have been what he wanted i believe.
Bayendor
4 years, 11 months ago
Sorry for your loss.  It's never easy losing someone you love.
RufusTheRat
4 years, 11 months ago
I lost my big brother a few years ago. I know how you feel.

Here's hoping you pull through all of this ok, bud. <3

*offers lots of hugs*
SenGrisane
4 years, 11 months ago
My sincere condolences.
DreamTiger
4 years, 11 months ago
Oh hells I'm sorry. I just got this and i am truly and deeply sorry for you and your families loss. *offers hugs* Again I am sorry i got this so late. Be safe and best of luck.
fuwwyfootpaws
4 years, 11 months ago
I'm really sorry to hear this happened. Try not to be sad though, he's in a better place now, and he wouldn't want to see you sad.
Zenobius
4 years, 11 months ago
Your brother sounds like a really swell guy who's got a good sense of right and wrong, people like him are scarse these days and I bet I would've had a great time with him if I ever got to know him. I'm sorry to hear about your loss Lou, just remember that he's in a better place now and that he would like for you to smile about the great times you've spend with him.
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." ~ Dr. Seuss.
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