One year ago today I lost the single closest person in my life, Amanda Catherine Walk. She lost the battle with cancer two months before her 20th birthday and she lives on in my thoughts every day.
I am sad for the loss and mourn her, but I also celebrate her life because she was coming out of a long, dark time. Life was pretty much never fair to her. She went through her parent's divorce when she was around 12 or 13 and then soon after had to live with her mother's druggie and alcoholic boyfriend.
She was distant from all but a few close friends at school and had a very dark outlook on life for many years, but after high school things began to look up for her. Her mother was able to afford to send her to college and there she made a good bunch of genuine friends and met someone she truly loved and loved her.
In February of last year she began to get sick but her mother wasn't able to take her to a doctor and when she finally could she was diagnosed with Mononucleosis and led a successful battle against that. What we weren't aware of was that that was a complication of the Melanoma she had developed, and it masked the cancer until it was all but too late. She spent the last week of her life in a hospital, thankfully in relative comfort as I was made aware.
It was tough for me to get out to see her because of the distance, and truth be told I always felt I should have spent more time with her than I did. But she and I were the closest people each other had and I took the time I did spend with her as if we were just spending time together like we always did.
There's something I want to admit for the first time about her, and this seems an odd place to do it but I will anyways.
I could have been with her romantically, but I chose not to be, and it was a good decision with a moral story to it. Many years ago, when we were younger, it was well within my mind to ask her out, but another friend beat me to it and they dated for a few years. Over this time I didn't interfere because I was a good friend, and I had time to think on that.
As I watched the two of them break up and grow to hate each other, I realizes that wasn't what I wanted for her and I, so we stayed friends. Instead of gaining and loosing a lover and losing a friend in the process, we became more close than ever and for all intents and purposes, I gained a sister. That's what we really were to each other the last few years; we had a brother-sister relationship.
I was glad to see her though the happiest years in her life and she lives on with me.
Amanda Walk: Best friend and Sister to me. July 13th, 1990 to May 13th, 2010. May she rest in peace.
7 years, 6 months ago
13 May 2011 17:40 CEST