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VerbMyNoun

TMI Tuesday - The City of Marblecliff, answered by Mayor Stephen Archer

A middle-aged kestrel looks up from his large oak desk at City Hall as his administrative assistant lets the field trip class into his office...

Ah, you must be Mrs. Ashbacher's third graders! Please, come in, there's plenty of room for all of you! Now, I understand that you're here to learn about the history of our wonderful city. That's excellent to hear; one should never forget the past, lest we be doomed to repeat it.

I suppose I should start by introducing myself! My name is Mayor Stephen Archer. I was born in Concorde, NH, and attended Harvard law school. I took a job at a local law firm out of college, where I met Harold Ashbacher, your teacher's husband, who is now our District Attorney. I've been a proud resident of our fair city since 1994, and mayor since 2010.

Now, if it's all right with you all, I'll let you kids start asking me some questions. Who would like to go first?
Viewed: 34 times
Added: 5 years, 2 months ago
 
Jacinth
5 years, 2 months ago
I have no questions, but this is a fucking awesome idea for a TMI.
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 2 months ago
I appreciate your enthusiasm, young lady, but I respectfully ask that you mind your manners while in the Town Hall.
Jacinth
5 years, 2 months ago
My apologies, Mayor Dictator, I wasn't aware that the Bill of Rights stopped at the door!
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 2 months ago
They certainly do not, Miss. You are not in any sort of trouble; there will not be any fines assessed, nor will you be taken to jail. I simply request that you mind your use of adult language while in a government building during my tenure. Again, it's a request, not a demand, not an order, not a directive.
kemosabe
5 years, 2 months ago
But of course, the Second Amendment DOES stop at the door.  Why NOT the First?  *glares*
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 2 months ago
We try not to restrict each others' freedoms, if possible. Again, it was only a request.
LeviathanFox
5 years, 2 months ago
First, I agree wirh Jacinth!

Now let the questions begin!

Me: Mr. Mayor, what will you do to stop the graffiti from showimg up under the bridges?
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 2 months ago
That is an excellent question, Son. Thankfully, Lieutenant Summers tells me that there hasn't been any more for quite some time now. I intend to have the graffiti removed at some point in time or another, but taxpayer dollars are better spent on public safety, or cleaning up more densely populated parts of the city. The bridges in question are on the outskirts of the city limits, where very few people reside. I understand it is an eyesore, but fewer property values are affected by it than other parts of town. We'll take care of cleaning it up as soon as it becomes economically responsible for us to do so.
soggymaster
5 years, 2 months ago
What if I told you, Mr. Mayor, that some of the murals were done by an amputee?
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 2 months ago
*stands up slightly and looks carefully over the small crowd of children, finally spotting a little boy lurking in the back*

From what I've been told, Lieutenant Summers is aware who is responsible. However, do to a mistake made while mirandizing the suspect, this individual had to be let go. I have been assured that this person will not be a problem any further. The officer responsible for mishandling the incident has been reprimanded.
dilbertdog
5 years, 2 months ago
when was the city founded

any major battles fought here

what kind of power does this city use (wind hydroeletrc  nucular ect )

populationof the city
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 2 months ago
Marblecliff was officially founded in 1652.

During Queen Anne's War, colonial settlers fought against the local Abenaki Indians. As a matter of fact, some of our citizens are descended from these natives, most notably AJ Blackfoot and his sons. Paul Revere actually rode through Portsmouth while warning colonists of the impending British invasion. Additionally, several Naval battles occurred along the Eastern Seaboard during the Revolutionary War, not far from the city.

The city relies on a combination of hydroelectric power, provided by the rivers flowing out into the harbor, and windmills, situated along the rocky ridges along the shore for which our city has been named.

Give or take, as the result of the deaths and births since last count, 132,679.
RisingDragon
5 years, 2 months ago
What are some attractions and top tourist spots for your city?

What are you some of your city's best economic exports?

I'm looking for a job, what careers are growing in your city?
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 2 months ago
*blinks and stares at the third grader that is looking for employment*

Son, have your parents been denied government assistance? Surely things can't be so bad that a young lad like yourself needs to join the work force. Have your parents get ahold of my assistant, and I will take time out of my day to hear them out.

We're not much of a tourism town. We have a few historical landmarks, but those don't do much to bring in visitors any more. The majority of our "attractions" are in Massachusetts, since Marblecliff is only about a 90 minute drive from Boston. There is Six Flags New England, a variety of professional sports teams, and the zoo. The UNHM, particularly the Medical Center, and Ft. McKendry Naval Base, are our cities two main attractions.

As the name of our city implies, we are a major source of marble and granite.

We are looking into obtaining our own minor league hockey franchise, also.

We are looking into ways to keep graduates from UNHM in Marblecliff, and are offering incentives to lure emerging tech companies into opening offices here.
IndigoNeko
5 years, 2 months ago
What are the schools here, and why do some have us wear uniforms? The uniforms look stupid.

Is there a military base here? My mom and dad were in the military, and I want to be in the military when I grow up too.

Are there any karate or tae kwon do or other dojos here? Do they have tournaments? I did tournaments before. They're fun!

Are there any mountains nearby? I wanna go snowboarding. Or skiing. But skiing's not as cool.
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 2 months ago
The decision for you to have to wear a uniform was, I assume, made by your school. Sphinx, Manticore, and Chimera... All of the schools in the Mythic System require them at all levels. None of the public schools mandate that the students wear uniforms. There are two public options available, as well, at each level. Additionally, we have University of New Hampshire Marblecliff and Turing State.

Being a port city, we have Fort McKendry Naval Base.

We do have dojos... I'm not certain exactly how many and what disciplines, but we have them, and yes, there are tournaments held at the convention center.

About 25% of New Hampshire is covered by the White Mountains, which are a part of the Appalachians.
kemosabe
5 years, 2 months ago
Why are we taking down clean graffitti of professional quality and replacing it with squiggles of modern art thats all vaguely pornographic?  

Why are we allowing foreign "businessmen" with dubious records to purchase public land for their ventures?(referencing brau and his club)

Why are we bothering with school uniforms when class, species, gender, sexual orientaton, age, and virtually everything else gets you bullied mercillessly anyway?

Why can't my teacher have a gun?  Either put a city policeman in every classroom or let mrs. Ashbacker have one.

kemosabe
5 years, 2 months ago
Why is there only one lizard working at my school?  And why is he a pervy shithead?  Couldn't find "one of the good ones"  or just didn't try?
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 2 months ago
Young man, the graffiti in question adversely affects the property value of nearby residences. It is not being replaced by anything. The art that you claim is replacing it is in galleries, and is not all "squiggly" or "vaguely pornographic". As a matter of fact, a fair amount of graffiti and street art go on display fairly regularly. Perhaps you could have your Mommy or Daddy take you to see it sometime?

Under the terms of our constitutional rights, as long as the individual passes the necessary checks and completes the necessary paperwork, whichever individual you are implying is allowed to operate a business here. If it is found out that this person is not in compliance with the laws and regulations, he or she will be shut down.

I am spearheading an ambitious anti-bullying program, and am happy to report that over each of the past two years, we have seen a reduction in the number of reported cases of bullying. The first year, the number actually increased dramatically, due to students feeling safer and more secure in being able to talk to an adult and having the situation handled accordingly. As far as the uniforms, that is not a requirement by the city, son. You'll have to ask your principal.

The teachers can have guns in their classrooms when the voters say they can. A lot of people think this is a good idea, and almost as many believe intentionally putting a gun so close to the children is just as dangerous as the problem they are trying to prevent. If enough people support a bill to allow your teachers to have a gun in the classroom, it will happen.

As for why your school only has one reptile on staff? Again, your school is a private one, not a public one. The city has no say in who Mythic Schools hires. I would assume that a part of it is because there are relatively few reptiles living in and around Marblecliff. Please keep in mind that reptiles are cold-blooded, and what the New England winters are like.
kemosabe
5 years, 2 months ago
I have been to museums, Mr. Mayor.  I see better art every day as I walk by the 1st grader's drawings on the hallway.  

If it is found... How can you expect anything to happen in this town when the police run it like we're living in Mayberry, and they're more concerned with washing murals and arresting artists than catching real criminals.  But of course, property value is more important than cocaine and pills getting handed around like candy.  

"Reduction in the number of REPORTED cases of bullying," so they've given up on telling anyone about it because they know nothing will ever come of it.  They don't need to get hugs and kisses and sent to a therapist, they need to be taught respect for other people.  Grown ups are usually as bad as the children.  

The voters don't NEED to say they can.  SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED, in black and white, on the Constitution.  

That's a line of bull, sir.  there are hundreds of native spieces of reptiles to in this area, over twenty different kinds of snakes alone.  I may be young but I know when I'm being fed a big ripe load.  

*pats Jac's back and stands beside her*
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 2 months ago
What qualifies as "good" varies from person to person, young man. This is why we often change out exhibits at the museum. Perhaps you should visit again?

Perhaps you weren't paying attention when the other boy asked about the graffiti? You do seem to get a little... overexcited... and lose focus. I did mention to him that our taxpayer dollars were better spent on public safety than graffiti removal.

I am not saying that bullying does not still occur. Until the problem is eliminated, the job is not done. But improvements are being made. Is someone bullying you, young man? If so, I'd like to talk to you about it sometime soon, and see what I can do.

Unfortunately, I can't give you all the answers you need. The scope and magnitude of our laws is subject to individual interpretation. The Supreme Court has the final say-so, but that doesn't mean that everybody will agree.

Native ferals, yes. Those species that have evolved to walk upright and speak have opted to move to warmer climates. Haven't you noticed that not only in your school, but the city in general, there are very few reptilian citizens? In a city of more than 130,000 citizens, only about 1,500 are reptiles. Compared to warm, southern climates, where a reptile can bask in the sun all day, New Hampshire has little to offer.
Sheylyra
5 years, 2 months ago
I heard a Sexshop run by an Hermaphrodite opened in our City, what is your opinion on that?
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 2 months ago
Miss Loire is a law-abiding citizen that has followed the necessary procedures and protocols to operate her business. Her being a hermaphrodite only means that she is entitled to the same privileges as any man or woman. Her owning a sex shop gives couples a healthy means to enhance their relationship, therefore reducing cases of infidelity and STDs.
talon2point0
5 years, 2 months ago
Miss Archer, do you think people are treated unfairly here? Some lizard friends of mine give me that impression even though they don't say so.

and I've heard that huu... haa... her-maf-ro-dites are looked down on. Can you do anything to help that?
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 2 months ago
Without a doubt, Son. That's a part of why I'm here. There are a lot of old-world, conservative, traditional ways of thought in this city. A lot of time, these are good things, but not always. Some old biases and prejudices are hard to let go of, especially when they are centuries old an reinforced by our ancestors. It's easy enough for someone to say, "that's wrong." Getting them not to do it is an entirely different matter.
BlastoTheHanar
5 years, 2 months ago
(Reposted)

Tourist hot spots are nice, but what are some of the under appreciated places that make Marblecliff unique, but nobody ever hears about like they should?

What is a place everyone hears about, but local people never seem to visit?

What place do people hear about a lot, but you don't think is really all that great?

And finally, how is your day going so far? Do you like answering a bunch of questions about your city?
VerbMyNoun
5 years, 1 month ago
Sorry for making you wait, young man. That was an important call. Urgent city business and such.

Let's see...

Despite its name, Rock Rocks Ridge, named for the victims that met their untimely end due to unfortunate falls, offers some of the best challenges for skilled climbers. If anyone is a skilled mountaineer, or can fly, I highly recommend the ascent. There are a lot of nice historical markers along the way.

Gerhart lighthouse is one place the locals never seem to visit. In fact, it seems like the only people that go there are retirees passing through in their Winnebagos. The view from there is stunning, though.

I'm sure the tourism board would appreciate it if I declined to answer that question, but I do appreciate the amount of thought that went into it.

My day? It's been hectic, but I suppose the life of a mayor always is. If the mayor isn't running, the city isn't. But all in all, I am doing pretty well. Thank you for asking.
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