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graymuzzle

To those who have suffered a loss.

reading posts and journals on furry sites, it seems that at any given time a lot of us are dealing with some kind of loss or breakup. The other day, I came across this verse, which seemed to put a lot of things in perspective. There is a lot of truth here. Because I suspect that there is someone here who needs it, I'm posting "Reason, Season, or Lifetime"

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
 When you figure out which one it is,
 you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
 it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
 They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
 to provide you with guidance and support;
 to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
 They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
 They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
 this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
 Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
 Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
 What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
 The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
 because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
 They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
 They may teach you something you have never done.
 They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
 Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
 things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
 Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
 and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
 It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

-- Unknown
Viewed: 104 times
Added: 5 years, 1 month ago
 
CubbyPuppy
5 years, 1 month ago
*hugs and sits to listen*
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
(hugs back)
Kainus666
5 years, 1 month ago
wow this is deep but beautiful
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
Thank you....
NeksusCat
5 years, 1 month ago
Pretty thoughtfull, my friend! :3 And well spoken!
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
Thanks, much appreciated!
Cormenthor
5 years, 1 month ago
Truer words have seldom been written, spoken or posted thanks graymuzzle, your timing on posting this is uncany
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
(smile)
My pleasure.
Ghost299
5 years, 1 month ago
Having just...breaking up with my Girlfriend...this post made me feel a lot less depressed and just happy to still have her as a friend..Thank you so much for sharing this with us :3
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
Quite welcome. It's something that took me a lot of years to figure out.
shadycat
5 years, 1 month ago
One graymuzzle to another, I have to say I find this piece both simplistic and self-centered. It pretends to wisdom, but rises only to the level of a lengthy Hallmark card.

"Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
 Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
 What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
 The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on."

I find this part particularly disgusting. I lost three friends to suicide in my early twenties. Two in the same week. Real friends. People I'd grown up with. In no way was their work done. Christ, they never got the chance to start. In no way was my need met or my desire fulfilled, not that I think of those as primarily important. You know. Not being a sociopath and all.
Whoever wrote this piece of magical thinking would probably tell me that some imaginary god needed a few more angels. Utter rot.
I do want to stress that this criticism is not at all aimed at you. I only know you from here, and your posts and comments are those of a good, thoughtful guy. This piece just struck me entirely the wrong way, and my tolerance for feel-good, magical thinking is very low. I don't have time to deconstruct the rest of this right now, but I'd be happy to talk with you more later. Again, my criticism of this piece is in no way intended to insult or criticize you.
nekosanofthesouth
5 years, 1 month ago
I lost several friends in high school to suicide they needed mental help but were unable to get it one got it and he still ending his life with a knife. . . I myself have thought about suicide before. . . you won't ever get over the pain of the loss you just learn to deal a little bit better with it each day. . . remember the good times . . . not the bad. . . and if there is a great beyond they aren't in pain now. . .if there isn't then life really is a sad thing anyway isn't each person struggling to make a mark on the world or some one they know so they will  be remembered . . . and if that's true you have to ask yourself did they leave a mark on your life?
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
(hugs)
Thank you for sharing
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
I don't know how far down the gray muzzle road you are. I'm well along it myself.
First, I'm sorry about your friend. Suicide is a problem today; especially so in the fandom. That's why some friends and I started the 'light in the darkness' group on SoFurry. It's tough being young. Every problem seems so huge. Sometimes they are. As we age, I believe, at least for me, the ability to withstand pain and loss increases. If we can just get people to that point......
I have to say that I respectfully disagree with you. As I travel on in life, the less I feel I know, and the more in awe I am about what is out there that I don't know. I'm not a particulary religious person, but in looking at my own life, I can't help but see how even sad a tragic things lead me to a different and better place in my life. I sure as Hell didn't see it that way at the time. And I still wonder why man has to go through some of the awful things that he does. Any thinking person has a hard time figuring out how a higher intelligence would not put an end to war, crime and starvation.
Still, I believe that each of us have a purpose, a reason to be here, whether through living our own lives, or by touching the lives of others. To me it is unacceptable to think that the world is merely a place of sound and fury, ultimately signifying nothing. Is this all there is, or do we move on to something else? Is life here merely preparation for what comes next? I have no idea. Like everyone else, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. But even if this is our one brief moment in the sun, and that none of this means anything, I STILL believe that there is purpose in each life. If I never make a million, or design a great invention, but if I have only made life a little easier for my fellow travelers, or lifted someone's burden, if only for a day, then my existence has been meaningful. Wasn't that what Mother Theresa did? And was her life less meaningful than say, Leona Helmesley?
You seem like a nice and thoughtful person. I have no argument with you. As a lifelong free thinker, I honor your right to feel as you do. For me, it would be a bit...depressing. Even short lives have meaning. If you look at all the lives touched by Lemon Coyote in his short time here, it was still a wonderful life, if one cut short way too soon. I hope there is an 'Act Two' for them, and for all of us. Even if there isn't we should still try to be kind, have fun, and live each day as if it's the only one we've got.
Because it is.
shadycat
5 years, 1 month ago
Thanks for your thoughtful reply. For the record, I'm thirty six and certainly agree with you about advancing age increasing our tolerance for sadness and loss. Really it has to, as there is ever more of it. This is not to say we become hardened or bitter, but age brings perspective.
I'm a staunch atheist, but I'm not a nihilist. I find the idea of a magical man in the sky with a plan to be laughable, but that doesn't render life meaningless. Rather, it frees us from the tyranny of external agency. Life is what we make of it, and meaning is derived within our own context. The reasons are all our own. What the sound and fury signifies is up to us.
As for any kind of afterlife, I dismiss the idea out of hand. Faith and credulity are synonymous, and neither is a virtue. The mindset has always struck me as both greedy and arrogant; like a child, having unwrapped all the the presents under the tree, looking around for more. Billions of people waiting for some pie in the sky and using this unfounded belief to avoid having to make this world better. It'd be funny if it weren't so damn sad.
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
I am no more swept up in the idea of some idyllic afterlife than you are, but doesn't the complexity of our world suggest something bigger, grander more intelligent than ourselves? It wouldn't be THAT hard, after all. I think the biggest conceit of all is to think that we know it all.
I continue to believe that there is some master plan into which we all fit. Hopefully benevolent, at the very least, merciful. At a minimum, something with a sense of humor :-)
shadycat
5 years, 1 month ago
I am quite cognizant of how little I personally and humanity as a whole knows. I'm also excited by how much there is to learn. Imagining beings more intelligent than humans is not hard at all; but that wouldn't make them gods. What's the old quote? "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
I must respectfully disagree about any overarching plan. Nothing in my experience or admittedly limited knowledge suggests anything more than the natural world behaving in accordance with physical laws. Any plans are our own. I perceive no watchmaker.
59? Truly your muzzle is grayer than mine own. In fact, the only furry I know of who might have a few years on you is Altivo over on FA, and I wouldn't swear to it.
"Age and guile beat youth and a bad haircut." - P.J. O'Rourke
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
"Any technology, however basic, is magic to those that don't understand it"
                                                                                                                     Florence Ambrose
shadycat
5 years, 1 month ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarke's_three_laws Law three. I wonder who stole from whom?
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
Certainly not Florence Ambrose! A Bowman's wolf is incapable of deception.
shadycat
5 years, 1 month ago
LOL. Ok, you got me. Took a minute searching to figure out that Florence Ambrose is a character in Freefall. Well played.
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
:-)
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
For the record, I'm 59, certainly very old by furry standards.
nekosanofthesouth
5 years, 1 month ago
Thank you
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
CreamSonicfan
5 years, 1 month ago
First and foremost, I mostly disagree with this.
Yes people walk away, people die and sometimes you just grow apart.
However I think we all meet, we all converse and we al wall a certain way because we are meant to.
I mean, it's so we can learn and grow, and each step, although aided, is a step forward.
This means people teach you what you need to learn, and sometimes they do it by not even being there, everything happens for a reason.
This leave people coming and going from you life, constantly, but each one is there for a reason, you just have to find it.
Sometimes it's as help and other times they are there to hurt you, this could be so that you can learn to grow in your own way, or so that you may teach something to another.
All this being said, you make choices as much as they do, if you like them, even a little, you can chose not to let them go.
And no one is in control of us or our destiny, we chose and mold it, using what we are taught.
So each person can be there for a lifetime, or a season, if you both wish for them to.
The only time this is any different is when you chose to close yourself off, often pushing people away, and causing you to lose what could be a good teacher.
I hope I made sense with all of that, but this is just my take on it.
Anyway, yes, we do have to accept sometimes that our wish has been fulfilled and we no longer need that person, but we can still hold on if we want.
Life is up to you, maybe not every detail is but you can try to get what you need and want out of it.
Okay, Ima stop now... Thanks for reading my take on life.
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
Thanks for your well reasoned thoughts. I think that there seems to be a belief that evey kind or nice or wonderful person is meant to be in our lives forever. As we grow older, we learn that EVERYONE leaves eventually. Unless of course we leave first. Isn't it better to have had someone wonderful touch your life, even if it only for a day? I certainly believe that life is interactive; that everyone touches us, and that we do so to others. It seems so random. Perhaps it is, or....maybe....it isn't.
Again, I appreciate your sharing.
Pentanthin
5 years, 1 month ago
This has given me something to think about. give me a day to mull it over and I will post my response if you would please?
graymuzzle
5 years, 1 month ago
Certainly! I'd love to hear your thoughts whenever you have time.
And thanks for stopping in!
Pentanthin
5 years, 1 month ago
Ok first off sorry it took me a little longer than a day to get back to you! my guild members required a little attention last night and after that it was well. Break time for me or I was going to go play freely in traffic to unwind.  This piece has some semblance of idea's that touch to what I think it intended. Yes it misses on a lot of marks as we all know that the Jading of life leaves scars that no amount of touching word will ever smooth over..  The surface context is just that a surface context! it's the at first blush and for those that have never had a life lesson or a hardship will find a true meaning in them. it's those of us that have live the hard road that find these words hollow and with empty or worst yet deprived and deprived meanings.

I will take the time this week and rewrite this in more of a tember for us gray muzzle/beards (yes I am one as well) so that it more aptly fits to a full and rounded appeal for all ages and backgrounds. Remember cub's and graymuzzles alike we all have experiences to share for each other! so instead of just bitterly denouncing thing's with venom in out teeth take the time and try and make the right paw forward and give a reason behind your words, it makes you sounds so much more than a bitter old fur and crackpot that feels cheated by the hardships that life has made us live through!

Pen~
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