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My Opinion on the upcoming Not-so-Amazing Spidey 2 Movie

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My opinion on that NOTAmazing Spider-Man 2 movie

 

 

Look.

I watched the first "amazing" movie in DVD when it was known it was a reboot and another damn retelling origin of Spidey, when in my opinion, it shouldn't have been another damn retelling in the least.

As much as I endured Garfield's horrible acting and the fact that Parker is now a hipster nerd (ugh, UGH!), I actually gave it props for having Gwen Stacy as the love interest and that The Lizard was long overdo in making an appearance, even if it was in this semi-turd of a Spidey movie.

So it wasn't THAT bad comparing to what I read in Entertainment Weekly about the upcoming sequel.

First, I am going to get out of the way a quote from Garfield, the guy playing Spider-Man here, here's what he stated:

"Why can't Mary Jane be a dude?  Why can't Peter be into boys? Why can't we discover that Peter is exploring his sexuality, why can't he be gay?"

Why?

WHY?!

ARE YOU MOTHERLOVIN' SERIOUS SON?  ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF STAN LEE'S AGE AND THE FACT THAT HE IS TOO ANCIENT TO EVEN KNOW WHAT CAHOOTS LIKE YOU AND THAT GUY WHO DIRECTS THIS HIDEOUS THING YOU CALL A MOVIE ARE DOING?!

Jesus...

Oh God, now thanks to this english jabrooni my mind just flashed an image of Spidey wearing bright pink and purple spandex swinging rainbow-colored webbing around Manhattan and blowing kisses to a homophobe Jameson.

Gwen Stacy in canon comicdom is spinning in her grave at full speed as I type this.

Anyway, back to the main point.

I saw pics of Jamie trying his best at making a sneer at you in his Electro get up and you know what?

I'm not feeling it.  I can tell in Foxx's eyes that he is NOT enjoying being some comic book villain 1% of Marvel fandom even knows it exists or even care since "New Goblin" was added for the lulz in Toby's Spider-Man.  

Oh sorry, VENOM was added for the lulz, New Goblin was set because Raimi suddenly remembered he couldn't do anything with him after two movies of EMO OSBORN JR.

I seem to remember that Electro in one continuity was German, well, that was based on the 90s Spidey toon which incorporated various story arks from the comic into it as 90s X-Men did and both were magnificent.  So that's one to consider eh?  Jamie doesn't look German enough to me.

But of course, comic book enthusiasts may say NAY to my first statement here, so I am moving on because I ain't finished yet.

Jamie Foxx was more of a comedian in his early years into showbiz as he was in the cast of In Living Color all the way through the mid 90s, a show I loved and revered as the best comedy sketch above SNL*.  He also was in a few comedy movies and has proven later on to be a serious actor in drama roles,even on Ray based on the musician Foxx played the role of.

Of course, he can be so serious in drama, that he proved to be true grit in Tarantino's Django Unchained, and I so fuckin' loved him in that role, westerns being such a big part of my love for movies.  

So maybe the guy directing these awful Spidey movies went on thinking that acting in action and drama = COMIC BOOK VILLAIN.

Nope.  NOPENOPENOPE.

As I stated, I am seeing Foxx trying to sneer at me in this photo from EW's magazine.  It's not doing a damn thing to convince me that this will work.

I tilted my head when I learned Kingpin in that (awful) Daredevil movie was black, but Duncan played him perfectly nonetheless and was big enough to physically be Kingpin and mop the floor with Affleck in said (awful) movie.

Sam L. Jackson as Nick Fury?  Remember that in the (Awful) Ultimates version of Marvel comics, he is black, and it is a fact that that version of Fury was based on Samuel L. Jackson, so forget you, he IS Fury even though in the original canon Fury is white.

There, showing you I have no problems in black actors playing white comic book villians, but of course, I am adding that they would play the part a lot better than what I could expect, and the two above did so greatly.

With Foxx?

Tell you what.

I will see a trailer and check the few seconds he will be in there.

But I can tell you one thing as I stare into this pic of Foxx as Electro.

It's not going to work.

I also learned about Rhino and who will play him, but besides already spoiling you with what I said above, I am not touching this one.

I can tell you though, my expectations about the guy playing him are even LOWER.

gay Spidey, with gay rainbow-colored webbing.

Keep that image in your noggin' for a while kids.
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Added: 5 years, 5 months ago
 
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