It's been a while since I've dealt with the death of a pet. Yeah, last year, our cats Wendy and Buffy died, but they were our cats, not my cats. Earlier today, we found one of my rabbits, Monty, dead. Monty was originally my sister's. When her landlord told her she couldn't have him anymore, I asked if I could have him.
I did my best to take care of him along with my other rabbit Scooter, and for a while I was quite good at it. But like every task I take on, sooner or later I started doing it slipshod. My first mistake was moving their cages from my bedroom into a different room in the house. Where I couldn't constantly observe them. They were consequently out of sight, out of mine, and I'd forget about them sometimes.
I admit this. I was quite negligent sometimes. I'm unsure if this precisely contributed to Monty's death but the possibility that it did is quite crushingly depressing. I always did remember to feed them though. But it became an annoying chore I wanted to avoid. I began to realize taking care of two rabbits was a big hassle for someone as absentminded and forgetful as me, especially with my on-again, off-again bouts of depression where I didn't feel like doing even the things I'd normally shirk my responsibilities to do.
Anyway, the last time I went to feed them, only Scooter came out from hiding. I disliked leaving the two of them caged up so I basically let them run loose in that room, which was a colossal mistake I will not repeat, especially now that it has cost one of them their lives. Anyway, Monty had always been a shy, skittish sort, even for a rabbit, so I figured he was hiding. I put rabbit food and lettuce in his and Scooter's food bowls and refilled their water bottles and left. Last night, I told myself I needed to feed them, but put it off until this morning. This morning when I'd stayed up so late my eyes were watering and I feel nearly physically ill. Ugh, why do I do this to myself...?
I was going to just zonk like usual but told myself no, I had to feed them. So I went in and Scooter came bouncing out but I didn't see Monty. I started getting concerned and so undertook an increasingly fruitless and desperate search for him. A few minutes later my wails (yes wails) awoke my mom who came to find my discovery. Monty had apparently gotten himself wedged between a big box and the wall and become stuck, and died. After I'd managed to calm down, we took him outside where I buried him in the backyard.
Two rabbits was too much for someone as inattentive as me. Even if Monty got himself jammed back there, it's my fault for not noticing because I didn't go in there as often. It's a mistake I won't repeat. I'm determined I won't also accidentally contribute to Scooter's death. He won't be let out of his cage when I'm not there, and, ultimately, if I need to give him up for adoption in order to keep him safe, I will. I mean, if you love something, set it free and all that. Anyway, I'm understandably feeling a bit cruddy right now, so I'm going to take a slight little vacation from my stories and artwork. If I owe you art, I apologize; it'll get done when it gets done.
5 years, 8 months ago
27 Jun 2013 00:29 CEST