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Kinshuka

Another Update.

I realized earlier that it had been a while since I had posted an update, so I'm gonna write one now. Obviously. Heh...anyway. Hows my situation? I honestly dont know anymore. No matter what I do, she doesnt seem to want to fix things. She's making way too many demands, or as she calls them "conditions", while I only have one. And that one she doesnt want to do. Even thought I did the same thing four years ago. It's called Give and Take, you know? But right now I feel that my whole marriage has been more give than take. All of her conditions I have said I'd do, but the one I want her to do, which involves moving to a new town so I can A: Get a job. B: Get out of the town I hate. C: Not have to live nextdoor to the guy that assaulted me. But she doesnt want to do it. And she tries to bring the kids in as one of her reasons why. My kids are young enough not to be affected by a move. I mean, Jarred is almost four and Lilly is almost one. Neither one of them would think either way of a move. But for my (current) otherhalf, thats one of her reasons.

But I honestly dont think she's thinking things through. She's also said she doesnt want to move away from her friends and family (which consists of just her mother). Yet I did the exact same thing befor we got married. I left my friends, my family, a job and now she's not willing to do the same? It's insulting in a way. But right now I've put the ball in her court. For the past day or so she's not spoken too me for some stupid reason or another, so this morning I sent her a text. Basicly I've told her I wont contact her untill next friday. During this time I want her to really figure out what she wants. I'm getting tired of being strung around. I dont deserve this shit. So now it's upto her where our marriage goes from here. She knows I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix things, but right now it looks like she isn't.

So yeah. The balls in her court. Lets see what she seres, hmm? Peace, folks.
Viewed: 24 times
Added: 7 years, 4 months ago
 
lepkitty
7 years, 4 months ago
wow, that sound like a not so good marrage. I hope things work for u and yer family for the best!
DOtter
7 years, 4 months ago
As I understand it, male/female relations work something like this --
1) She chooses you. You can tell that she's chosen you because you didn't see it coming and you have no particular feelings for her. But first her friends then your friends start treating you like a jerk because you don't return her feelings. (You can tell if she did not choose you because you do have feelings for her, but first her friends then your friends start treating you like a creeper for stalking her, even if all you do is look at her.) Eventually you'll have to give in and at least say that you love her.
2) You commit to her; you agree to be her man and hers alone. She doesn't have to commit to you because men are the ones who don't want to commit, (or honour their commitments), so for women it's a given. It doesn't really matter anyway, it's only temporary.
3) After a while, she catches you violating your commitment; somehow, anyhow, in the most picayune way if necessary. If you're a good man and honour your commitment to the hilt, she might have to invent something.
4) You find yourself in a fight over it. You are the bad guy in this; there can be no forgiveness, no putting it behind you. You have offended her in ways that you, (as a man), can't even imagine! Just to "normalize relations," you have to get down on your knees and beg her to take you back.
5) From then on, she owns you! In order to not lose her, your house, your kids and anything else you value, (including ever-more-occasional access to her p***y), she makes "conditions" that you have to live with. She, as the offended party, does not have to take anything from you and she can add more conditions later as you find exceptions to her control. (You are at this stage now.)
6) When your kids, your friends and everyone who can make your life harder have seen what a loser you are, she finishes with you and sues for divorce. In this final stage of the male/female relationship, she takes possession of everything you own, claims the majority of your income and throws you out. She is now free to make babies, (or just f***), with men with better genes but poorer income while you take care of her fiscal needs, preferably from somewhere far away so you're not in the way. You will never be free again, of course; you'll be tied by law to her by your purse strings 'til death do them part. Besides which you won't be able to afford another family even if you do find a woman who's weak enough to have to settle for a man for whom she actually has feelings.
7a) However, if you're very lucky and the judge wasn't sympathetic to her, your divorce settlement might say, in the event that she re-marries, (or you can prove she's taken a common-law partner), that her new man has to take responsibility for her family. She probably won't want to lose you as her "cash cow," she had sex and made babies to get you. But if you're lucky and she isn't, she'll develop feelings for some new guy and you will finally be free again.
7b) If she makes enough mistakes in stage 4, however, it might be possible to hoist her by her own petard and sue her for divorce at the start of stage 6 or even 5. If you get a good lawyer and a sympathetic judge, you can get control, (or at least concessions), on the kids, the alimony, maybe even the house.

Mind you, I'm not saying that every relationship between a man and a woman is about the woman turning the man into the butler. Unfortunately, it seems this way in far too many cases. I suspect that it might be true in your case. If you can prove that your neighbor was in on her plot before the argument that "prompted" him to come into your house and assault you, then my advice would be to get a good lawyer, (splurge on a QC if you can), and sue her for divorce instead.

Good luck, my friend!
Shokuji
7 years, 4 months ago
" I dont deserve this shit.
No you don't. *hugs* I really hope things work out. =/
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