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Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates of Infinity...

For the 3DS is a FUN game.  Seriously.  Its difficulty curve is a LOT lower than most of the Mystery Dungeon series (it's MUCH easier than the original, and INFINITELY easier than Azure Dreams for the PS1).  You get tons of "escape orbs" to get out of dungeons if things get too hard, and you don't lose all your items when you die.

But there's some bad stuff about it...  First off... the cutscenes.  Oh, GOD, the cutscenes...  Make no mistake, I LOVE cutscenes in games.  The story is more important to me than ANYTHING else in a game...  But the first... quarter of the game is 90% cutscene.  For every half hour of gameplay you get, you have to go through TWO HOURS of talking about friendship, love, and sunshiney happiness.  This wouldn't be SO bad, except for the fact that most of the dialogue DOESN'T advance the plot and is just philosophical babbling.

To be fair, AFTER about 18 hours of constant cutscenes and linear plot, the game FINALLY opens up a little, and allows you to GENERALLY go where you want or do what you like... but there's still a sense of getting led by the nose at times, because sometimes it'll take your shops away or force you to do a mission when what you WANT is just to explore, level grind, or item grind.  The worst part is you have no CHOICE but to advance the plot at times, even when you're not prepared to, because ANY time you do a mission off the board, it counts as advancing the plot.

The next big complaint is your choice of characters.  The original Pokemon Mystery Dungeon gave you SIXTEEN starters to play as.  You can forget that.  This game gives you five.  You get the B&W starters, Tepig, Snivy, and Oshawott, and then you get Axew and Pikachu.  THAT'S IT.  Of course since all the B&W starters are TERRIBLE, you're gonna choose Pikachu and have Axew as a partner to avoid having to stare at their ugliness all day...

Then... there's Quagsire.  Oh, god, does this guy scare the living spit out of me.  He starts out as just an exceedingly annoying character who won't shut up and has an annoying speech quirk... but then he turns into one of the most terrifying characters I've seen in a video game.  He is a former member of the PokeMafia (kid you not) who reformed, and is HEAVILY implied to violently man-rape other criminal Pokemon into reforming themselves.

...I'll let that sink in for a moment.

There's a thief Scraggy you encounter early on, and Quagsire "punishes" him.  You don't learn what said punishment IS.  Any time Scraggy says something about said punishment, he gets an expression of mixed terror, shame, embarrassment, and shyness that can only come from having taken a gigantic throbbing object up the rear against your will.  I can only assume from the expression on Scraggy's face, and how terrifying Quagsire is that it involved sweaty, awful man-rape.

....Outside of that terrible bit of horribleness, the game is legitimately fun.  Combat is tactical and fast paced; the difficulty curve is JUST right to make you breeze through when you need to and make you sweat when you want to; you get a variety of fun and interesting characters including the awesomeness of Victini (V-WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!! O_O); and to be fair, despite my complaints about all the cutscenes, the plot is very fun.  Character portraits bring a lot of expression to characters that would normally be kinda faceless (the Timburr twins are ADORABLE, despite being hideously ugly in the main games!).  

I'm about... maybe 40% through the main plot of the game (I'm guessing WILDLY because there's no way to tell), and despite all my complaints, I'd give this game a solid B+.  Get rid of hours of cutscenes with some more concise writing, and the game would be an A- or A.  If you're dying for X and Y, and don't particularly wanna play Black and White or B&W 2, this game might be for you.

That's all I have to say!  New livestream coming on...  Let's say Wednesday night.  Rock on, guys and gals!
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Added: 5 years, 11 months ago
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