Is it just me?
Does anyone else out there absolutely hate it when unexpected things occur, whether they are meant to be pleasant or not? Is there anyone else out there that gets totally shook up and pissed off when unexpected guests arrive, or when people you live with go places/do things/ come home without telling you they are, first? It. Drives. Me. NUTS.
Today, it started out being another perfectly lovely, relaxing, quiet Saturday without my mate's mother or her noisy obnoxious dogs ruining our solitary peace. They've been up in Lake County for the past 3 weeks.
Then, about 4:30 this afternoon when my mate and I were trying out a new, fun game with our friends, we hear the garage door open. At first, part of me hopes its just my mate's father going out to refill the water jugs. But part of me knows that something's not right. Part of me suspects that, for some ungodly reason, my mate's mother thought it would be a good idea to surprise us with a visit home. I try my best to push my nervousness and anxiety aside, but then, I hear her voice, and I knew it was exactly as I feared.
She came home today, with no warning, along with all 3 dogs and my mate's cousin who decided to come along for a visit.
I have nothing against my mate's cousin. He's a decent guy, and a gamer, so he's alright in my book. I have nothing <i>much</i> against my mate's mother, except her manipulative, snoopy, condescending- okay, I'll come out with it. I don't like her too much. But I still consider her family because she is housing me and paying for everything for me right now. I don't much like her three ill-trained, noisy, obnoxious dogs at all, as most of you already know. To have them all come here without me knowing, and being able to mentally prepare myself, was just a nightmare.
I was raised in a household where everything was carefully planned, and I always knew what was going to happen at every moment of every day, unless I went out of my way to make life unpredictable, which I did on occasion. I LIKE life like that. I like being able to prepare myself for things. I have horrible nerves, and extremely sensitive emotions, so I HAVE to keep myself prepared for things. Its my only form of safety and protection. I understand that things can't always go as planned. I understand that unprepared things will undoubtedly occur in my life, and I am prepared for that, as contradictory as that sounds. But when someone doesn't inform me of something they very well could have to allow me time to prepare just so they can "pleasantly surprise me" with something that is NOT as pleasant for me as they think it is, it just makes me want to rip their heads off and shit down the hole.
Give me a fuckin' break, man.
My mate's mother and cousin will only be staying until monday, as they have to return to Lake County. But the three dogs are staying, as unpleasant as that is for Xim and myself, and honestly, for the dogs too. I think we'd both be happier if they went back up to Lake County with Tracy. But Tracy has to take the car and leave the truck. I am happy to have the truck back, don't get me wrong. At least now Xim can drive me places on weekends, and can drive herself to and from school again. We still can't really use it for job hunting because her father will need it for work most of the day.
So, what did I get out of this? Less room, less privacy, more noise, more mouths for Xim and I to feed. more shit to have to clean up, and a big fat lot of shaking and mental numbness for me caused by the whole event jerking my fuckin' nerves.
I can't wait until Tracy gets back again for the last time. I swear to the gods, I will job hunt like a fucking slave until I can start making some god damned money and get Xim and I out of here. I only have a year and a half more of this shit if I can get the money to get Xim and I out of this place.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
Sorry for the vent.