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FlynnRausch

Locus of control

It's very important.

If you're interested in improving the way your life operates with work, school, home, family, friendships, significant others and so on, definitely look into this psychology concept.

Very very basically, locus of control refers to how you feel you can control the events you experience. Think of it as "I make my life happen" (internal locus of control, "I failed the test because I didn't study enough") versus "Life happens to me" (external locus of control, "The teacher failed me on that test because they don't like me"). Obviously, there are going to be lots of events you can't control (ie. jackass in the car behind rear-ended me), but there are also LOTS that you can control (ie. the aforementioned test) AND the ways that you respond to them.

If you find yourself getting really angry, examine what it is that makes you mad. Find out why. Then really look at it and see if it's that big of a deal to get THAT mad over. Think about things that make you annoyed and why it is you stop at annoyed instead of progressing all the way to anger. Whatever strategy it is that keeps you from going off the deep end, start trying to apply that to things that make you mad. Remind yourself of these strategies often and apply them as much as possible.

Or if you find yourself getting really sad, or anxious, or guilty, or WHATEVER.

Basically, try to take control of as much of your life as you can. It's YOUR life; start living it!
Viewed: 27 times
Added: 5 years, 9 months ago
 
Hipstotter
5 years, 9 months ago
Wise words though some people are way too proud to ever admit that they're angry,wrong or that there's anything wrong with them.

;)
FlynnRausch
5 years, 9 months ago
I'm angry, wrong, and there's lots wrong with me. That's why I'm going to therapy: so I can learn to master the alligators inside me (my therapists metaphor).
RufusTheRat
5 years, 9 months ago
People scoff at the idea that "anger is a choice", because emotions are finicky things that are hard to control. But how angry somebody gets *IS* in somebody's control. That videogame that you ragequit didn't FORCE you to throw your Xbox 360 out of the window, you did that on your OWN there, Mr. Person-Who-RageQuits.

I could go on about this forever, but you've already said it way better than I could, so... *all the agreements*
<3
FlynnRausch
5 years, 9 months ago
Yeah. I'm going to try to stop bashing my keyboard when I get mad at league :p
RufusTheRat
5 years, 9 months ago
Oh, I didn't mean it that way >_< I was talking in hypotheticals!
FlynnRausch
5 years, 9 months ago
I know :p
Shokuji
5 years, 9 months ago
Sounds like great advice to me. =) Hope it works well for you and anyone who tries it.
FlynnRausch
5 years, 9 months ago
I'm tryin!
MadDog
5 years, 9 months ago
Isn't it easier to just blame others, though? Less work on my part!

Actually, you can usually tell folks with external locus of control. They never see anything as their fault.
FlynnRausch
5 years, 9 months ago
The thing is, though, that you CAN change it through force of will and a healthy dose of honest self-evaluation. If you blame aspects of your life that you don't like on outside forces, you're effectively robbing yourself of any ability to fix it. Like yeah, there are some things you can't do anything about (some aspects of your health, most of your physical attributes, that sort of thing), but just about everything about yourself can be dealt with in some way. Don't like how mad you get? You can change it. Don't like how critical you can be with yourself or others? You can change it. By saying "It's the way I am, I can't change it", is a really lame excuse that just doesn't hold any water whatsoever.
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