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AlexReynard

Penis Insurance Tiger



Penis Insurance Tiger
A fnshrrrrrbush by Grimbly Snooker Blaghnumny (and pals)

If evolution is true, why aren't bananas poisonous? Barracudas drinking coffee. Renamon made spooky spaghetti and dangled it in front of Owen Wilson for five hours. Noun, verb, adjective. Class assignment: make a list of all bees named Carl. Then burn this list and leave home forever. A pizza hut full of spy horses, slowly filling up with piss. Croissant-shaped nipples. Tim Burton is wanted in seven states for crimes against humanity and/or fish. Then Barbra Streisand was brutally masturbated by ultranonanthropomorphic penguins. Obamaburgers. At Walmart, centipedes dressed as humans sold me a bag full of pig transformations. Then scientists were able to successfully program porpoises to derive intense pleasure from mutilating Italians. Dee Snider playing hopscotch with a koala. My pet ogre has horrible taste in music. My ballsack is full of shrapnel. My father once snuck into my bedroom and stuck his penis in my ribcage. Speaking of Nicolas Cage, few people know that he can fly. Not, like, a pilot. He just spreads his majestic arms and takes off. It is one of the side effects of getting drunk and giving an old gypsy woman a footjob in the back seat of a Pontiac Solstice. Hey, remember that episode of Pokémon when Ash caught a Pontiac Solstice? Why does a scented grass proceed beneath the courier? The exquisite corpse shall drink the new wine. What do you call a fatass witch? A width. A wombat whistles in the countryside, because seventeen corporate lobbyists paid him to. Then the entire country of China turned into a fucking bird. Calvin and Hobbes sucked. Cokie Roberts was murdered by algebra. Police have already arrested and executed several random black men. Doughnuts contain invisible ingredients. I can hear myself screaming in the other room. Let's roll puppies up in tortillas and chuck them out an airplane window! Then Katy Perry devoured the copse of Michael Jackson. "I HAVE A SLIM JIM." The site could be temporarily unavailable or too busy. Try again in a few moments. I am going to name my next goldfish Toiletbound. Orange Julius Caesar Salad Fingers. OVALS ARE FAGS. The problem with Christians is that they don't decompose fast enough when guests are coming over. "Tongue kiss that wasp hive! The fate of nations depends on it!" How can a scarf hope for the enlarged feminist? Then James Bond defeated all the bad guys because he had cufflinks that turned into a Winnebago full of parmesan cheese. If you blow into a kitten, the greatest sounds ever will come out of its ass. Meanwhile, the ghost of Shirley Temple was vacuuming cars up her twat. Toothpaste-covered vegetables. Please donate to help the chairless. Combustible octet. "Inquisitiveness? Kill the cat!" An unladen Martha Stewart can reach land speeds of over one hundred thousand miles per hour. Insomnia bunny crotch. Throw Patrick Stewart down the well, and the water will taste smart and bald. Subpar Mario Bowsers. The instrumental limb dodges the supernatural church rectangle. Why my shoulders hurt? Then Wendy The Good Little Witch cast a spell to turn David Spade into a swimming pool full of sperm. A closet talks. A Closet Talks. I'll let you ponder that. Will a random composer invalidate the wheel? Corey Feldmen gets blood transfusions from a chipmunk. Fuck celery! Trumpet + pumpkin = Prumpket. Yup. Dog boners reaching to infinity. Come visit Doctor Tiffani Amber Thiessen's Haunted House Of Horrors!!! Then Rick Moranis in a cowboy outfit climbed onto the back of a gargantuan housefly and lassoed Toyotas. Few people know that beef is actually a liquid. Meanwhile, Norm MacDonald was having a hat. Like how some people have a baby. A chocolate eye misuses a train. The funniest hypocrite leaves an increased evil. Barf shoes. Deepwater gibbon repairman. Will the quota compromise the smell? Then Robby telepathically knew of the existence of cakes. Which don't smell. Or at least not as much as bacon does. Pure rabbit urine extract on toast. Gnomes are all crackheads. Let's go blackmail some black males. And just for balance: White People vs. Toast. A rubber congressman baffles a delighted duckmonster. Meanwhile, the mafia was poking pinholes in all the condoms. Fun Fact: little girls' intestines are all full of Reeses' Peanut Butter Cups. "Mommm! There's an astronaut in the backyard dry-humping my treehouse!!" Mrs. Piggy is a Stalinist gook-lover. Skateboards covered in breadcrumbs. Infrequent finger police. Behind an alphabet, windmills cause abortions. The fork rages into the throat! Scott Baio causes malfunctions! Meanwhile, Richard Dawkins consumes her own weight in colostomy bags full of bicycle sprockets. The lust interferes across the interstate. Why does a slave award whatever five uncle? Giant robots cannot comprehend bagels, to their unending embarrassment. Don't poop gunpowder. Just don't. To save money, instead of grass I planted dead bear cubs all over my lawn. Romeo and Juliet are stuck on a piece of Swiss, and a shoe keeps poking them. Maggot-infested dentist chair. While my wife was unconscious, I pumped her stomach full of dish soap. Sidney Poitier taught me how to fuck. "Garçon! This gangrenous gargoyle is gargling my goulash!" Askepticalpencilsayswhat? "So I was doing the laundry and it broke..." THE SKULL LAUGHS HEEDLESSLY AT TOE SOCKS! ROTATE TROUSER! Meryl Streep is holding a pizza cutter against her vagina. Human-powered nuclear torpedo. The creature gossips! Let's have a go at that difficult bunny again. The prerogative of being an elephant is that you get to shake your ass at the Queen (or a Queen tribute band). THE BACK OF MY THROAT TASTES LIKE CHEETOS!!! THIS IS WORSE THAN THE TRAIL OF TEARS!!! My asshole rides bikes. Fried screams. A rollercoaster made of frozen piss icicles. Fuck you; you're on Earth. Phoenix juice. If you watch The Little Mermaid in reverse, you will get sooooo stoned. Beer-battered bastards. Captain Wobblydonkey shot my television. Prague. Instead of a dalmatian coat, why didn't Cruella DeVille just skin a bunch of hoboes and make hobocoats? Maya Angelou is dyslexic, which is why she broke off all her teeth trying to give a blowjob to Voltron. FIGHTING BUBBLES! Few people know that ballet and hotdogs come from the same place. DISAPPOINT YOUR CHILDREN. Jesus is wiggly, like a goat. Intercontinental ballistic homing ferrets. "...Can the client sketch the naughty infant!?" (This behavior encourages the photocopy.) Human flesh flavored Flintstones vitamins. Then Taylor Swift yawned, and Kanye West ran up and threw a small sausage into her mouth. IT'S NOT SCIENCE FICTION UNTIL IT HAS DICKS! All mountains are made of tightly-clustered frogs. Inside an aardvark, the lesbian dance conspiracy convenes yet again. Grandparents are a virus. The Herring Wore Red Glasses. Clouds are niggers. Let's turn your favorite band into soup! How to tell if your boyfriend is really The One: does he fit into a standard-size garbage bag? Scientifically proven to make you shit baby lions!! BILL COSBY IS FEMALE. Stop eating my car or I will be sad. At least put some mayonnaise on it. I went to the polling place to vote for Bill Death and his running mate Richard Misery. Starships operate on my testicles without permission in a hotel room. A golden cabbage is hard to slice. Cats are both monkeys and helicopter bait. You need a weapon for Gods. His undocumented lavatory rules a musician underneath the hacking concept. Her toad sings past the nose. Clint Eastwood is not the bestwood; that would be Clint Westwood. Seeing eye blind people were not a great success. 'My bathtub is insane; wanna fuck?' I dare you to get the thickest pair of sunglasses you can find, a box of fudge and a dog leash, and just stand on the corner in the middle of Detroit. A tongue appears! Call the sexy police! Innertube innertube innertube innertube innertube innertube innertube innertube. Her geographical dog beans on top of the dictator. When your phone rings five times, you will get a disease. Never attempt to use psychology against a firetruck, especially if it has a knife. I stubbed my toe on an apostrophe. Julia Roberts is a racist, but only when she's sleeping. Deadly wooden baby carriages. Inflatable disguise feet. 'Whatever piano meets the rocket! HAHAHAHAHA!!!' Chicken vagina fluids. Few people know that The Adventures Of The American Rabbit and The Dark Knight Rises have a truly chilling number of plot similarities (you think I'm joking). Japan vs. immature cowboys. http://jamesearljonesisahouseholdappliance.com A rabbit ducks beneath his sentient crossword. Then Devo turned into UFOs. Small children can be rendered into methamphetamines using Drano, spaghetti sauce, and a van. Regis Philbin + Betty White = a huge coyote with down's syndrome. Ed The Potato Prosecutes A Murder. America just made Zimbabwe its fiftieth state. A brain goes flying over the trees. Entire outfits made of chocolate. Strap antigravity devices onto pit bulls; release into Mormon churches; collect insurance. SPIDER PORNOGRAPHY ON VHS. What's the magic word? AbracaCUNTBASTARD! Snobbish butter-covered goblins light aircraft carriers on fire. We tried to have a normal, traditional family thanksgiving dinner, but a hunk of cheese kept orbiting about three feet above our heads. The cheese orbits still. We have all gone mad. Send help. "How will the abnormal man decline?" A mailbox full of cow blood. Breast burritos! Whatever floats your boat. Whatever repeated constant eats your rubber mouth. The violin precedes the sexual pain. Wait, sexual paint? Sexual pants!? Perry Como is an octopusfucker. My local Chinese restaurant has been known to make soup out of old dead moths, beard hair and green onions. Green onions are gross. Five hundred gigabytes of horse porn, officer. It's not gay if Bruce Willis poops in the shower and you pick it up and sniff it. The antidote parade!! (Not a warehouse; a herehouse.) Piers Morgan is made of slime and farts. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry, other times I cry so hard I solve physics equations. When will a gown exist? Kill everyone with dicks. The Mad Hatter forcefeeds otters human eyeballs. Would you like to buy a bottle of Johnny Depp's belly sweat? All those curry-munching dirtbags in Iowa... Don Knotts was an emotionless fuck machine. Denzel Washington has the soul of a calzone. All Subway restaurants are secretly run by one-legged illiterate Arabs. Shadow the Hedgehog is afraid of eggs. How does the bread hunt? This battery despairs! Yesterday I pulled a cat leg out of my ear. How long was I asleep? Behind the molecule raves the beast! I traded all my grape soda for a chance to meet Lou Ferigno. Unfortunately, Lou Ferigno killed me with a screwdriver for calling his wife a zebra-faced harlot. Taco Bell made me bisexual and alcoholic. The Finger Kids? I wore a mask of Jean Claude Van Damme to the costume ball, and seventy people spat on me. I opened my fortune cookie and all it said was "SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY". Your mom is better at math than all Asians combined. Peanut butter crackers and walrus skulls. Remember to stand in front of the mirror every day, look yourself unflinchingly in the eye, and say, "The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers show was pretty good." Crayons up a terrier's ass! Who put them there? Backbreaking buttsniffing. Meanwhile, young Kevin Shapiro was walking home from school along the train tracks; wracked with melancholy about his mother's recent suicide and his subsequent drop in grades, but just as he crossed the Trellway overpass, a deranged escaped rhinoceros pounced on him and raped his skull into bits. What a jerk. Doctor Claw catches pigeons barehanded and devours them bones and all. Why does an idiot pretend? I really need to go press some Oreos into my eyes right now. Enemy gynecologist. Few people know that every supreme court justice since 1887 has been chosen based on their favorite flavor of tampon. The Dallas Cowboys vs. fifty three-year-olds! The Dallas Cowboys vs. fifty-three-year-olds! What happens after you die? Snowcones! Basements cause AIDS. Never try to outrun a basement. Who do you think would win in a fight; Moby Dick or a drunk scientist trying to lose weight? What about The Incredible Hulk versus opera? 'Vagina necklaces, for instance.' The internet confirms that not only does Applebloom have a penis, but it is the fifteenth iteration of The Doctor. A gay jaguar plays jazz. Canada: Home Of The Saggy-Titted Rape Gorilla! Never put a candle in a Muslim's ass. I'd have a greater sexual interest in women if they were spherical. "How am I maintaining my relationship status? Pistol-whipping a sausage." Few people know that dubstep was first created when Thomas The Tank Engine fucked a laundromat. PIZZAS VS. BOOKS. Post-apocalyptic pillbug restaurant. Tony Todd controls your bones. Squeeze your pimples onto antique furniture. I'D LIKE SOME POOOOUUUUNDCAKE. I opened my lunchbox one day in third grade and inside was just a small piece of paper with the word 'filth' written on it. Michael J. Fox cannot be harmed by bullets. Cucumbers intrude. A never-ending supply of bald Japanese schoolgirls. Crowbar in my pisshole. He punched that guy so hard his blood knocked over a bus. That chair has schizophrenic odors. Yodeling requires bleach. One night I broke into the Space Needle and discovered it was a gigantic silo of jellybeans. Boneless boldness. Mighty android bat. M. Bison smokes llama pubes. Squirrels have evolved tires. Fun fact: if you hold a martini glass up to a pair of tits, a ghost will give you a pumpkin pie. 'Her sarcasm results in a whale.' Snarling remote-controlled haystacks. 'Try not to rub your ass on any basketball players tonight, you catholic whorejob.' Cute little birds with underwear on their faces. All of your problems can be solved by suckin' on toes. Only the dead can know peace from this ice cream. I had a dream about naked pregnant women with deer hooves for hands.

I'm Vermin Supreme, and I approve this message.


END END THE



Viewed: 126 times
Added: 5 years, 9 months ago
 
PlatinumPen
5 years, 9 months ago
Is it bad that as I read this it's starting to make some sort of mad sense?
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
Yes. Yes it is.
PlatinumPen
5 years, 9 months ago
But it has an odd hidden symbolism in parts of it, sure most can be written off as rambling but shift through rambling enough and you find genius.
sigmaweapon
5 years, 9 months ago
Meh, I still say Black People: The Movie is your best work.
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
I dunno, I'm awfully fond of Magnetic Rape Burritos. And Zeeky Boogy Doog has that insensible celebrity death barrage at the end.
sigmaweapon
5 years, 9 months ago
Yes, but when Black People: The Movie said that Dick Cheney raped 9,000 hippos, I had to nod in agreement. After all, truer words have seldom been spoken.
And don't forget how you touched all our hearts with the true-to-life love story of Ellen DeGeneres and El Guapo the giant electric eel!
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
>Yes, but when Black People: The Movie said that Dick Cheney raped 9,000 hippos, I had to nod in agreement. After all, truer words have seldom been spoken.

AHAHAHAHHAHAAA!! I forgot I said that! I may need to read that one over again.
asknot
5 years, 9 months ago
The part about poisonous bananas reminded me that cinnamon actually is poison.
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
So, how many bowls of Apple Cinnamon Cheerios does it take to kill you?
Blackraven2
5 years, 9 months ago
First thought ...   I#ve no clue what you'd been smokin' when you wrote that, but GIVE ME SOME.

Second thought ... Damn I really have to take all that, put it into google translate, translate it to russian, then to chinese, then back to english and see what happens...

Blackraven2
5 years, 9 months ago
Пенис тигра страхования
Fnshrrrrrbush по снукеру Grimbly Blaghnumny (и друзья)

Если эволюция верна, то почему не бананы ядовитые? Барракуды пить кофе. Renamon сделал жуткий спагетти и болталась его перед Оуэном Уилсоном в течение пяти часов. Существительное, глагол, прилагательное. Класс задание: составить список всех пчел по имени Карл. Затем записать этот список и уйти из дома навсегда. Pizza Hut полный шпион лошадей, медленно наполняется мочой. Круассан форме соски. Тим Бертон хотел в семи штатах за
Blackraven2
5 years, 9 months ago
虎鞭保险
Fnshrrrrrbush,斯诺克Grimbly Blaghnumny(和朋友)

如果进化论是真的,那么为什么不是香蕉有毒吗?梭子鱼咖啡。 Renamon做了鬼的意大利面条,摇晃着它前面的欧文·威尔逊在五个小时。名词,动词,形容词。课堂作业:让所有的蜜蜂叫卡尔的列表。然后刻录列表,离家好。必胜客完整的间谍马慢慢地充满尿。牛角包形式的乳头。蒂姆·伯顿想在美国七个州,危害人类罪和/或鱼。芭芭拉·史翠珊被粗暴地自慰ultranonanthropomorphic企鹅。 Obamaburgers。在沃尔玛,蜈蚣,因为人们都穿着卖给我一整袋猪转型。然后,科学家们能够成功地从毁损的意大利的猪进行编程,以获得强烈的快感。迪斯奈德播放经典的考拉。我的宠物怪物恐怖的音乐品味。的碎片我ballsack。我的父亲有一次他到我的卧室,并把他的鸡巴在我的胸口。说到尼古拉斯·凯奇,很少有人知道,他能飞。不一样,一个试点。他只是耸耸肩,雄伟的迅猛增长。这是一个的的副作用喝醉了,给脚功封口吉普赛女人在后座上的Solstice庞蒂亚克。嘿,还记得那个情节,神奇灰抓了庞蒂亚克Solstice?为什么草药快递吗?精致的尸体会喝新酒。你叫什么一个巫婆fatass?
Blackraven2
5 years, 9 months ago
Penises insurance
Fnshrrrrrbush, snooker Grimbly Blaghnumny (and friends)

If evolution is true, then why are not bananas poisonous? Barracuda coffee. The Renamon ghost spaghetti, waved it in front of Owen Wilson in five hours. Nouns, verbs, adjectives. Classwork: all bees called Karl's list. Then burn the list, well away from home. Pizza Hut spy horse slowly filled with urine. The croissants forms nipple. Tim Burton seven states in the United States, crimes against humanity and / or fish. Barbra Streisand was rudely masturbation ultranonanthropomorphic penguins. Obamaburgers. Wal-Mart, centipede, sold me a bag full of pig transformation because people were wearing. Then, the scientists were able to successfully programmed from the corrupted Italian pig to get intense pleasure. The diss Ned playing classic Koala. My pet monster horror musical tastes. Fragments of my ballsack. My father once he went to my bedroom and put his dick in my chest. Nicolas Cage said, very few people know that he can fly. Not as a pilot. He just shrugged, majestic rapid growth. This is a side effect of drunk, give Footjob Solstice Pontiac gypsy woman in the back seat. Hey, remember that episode, magical gray grasping the Pontiac Solstice? Why herbal express it? The exquisite corpse will drink the new wine. What you call a witch fatass? Width. In rural areas, wombats whistling, because 17 companies lobbyists paid to him. Throughout the country, China has become a damn bird. Calvin and Hobbes suck. Koki Roberts was killed algebra. Police have arrested and executed some random black man. The donuts contain invisible part. I can hear myself screaming in the other room. Let our window throwing puppies into tortillas and aircraft! Then, Katy Perry, Michael Jackson swallowed the woods. "I have a Slim Jim." The site may be temporarily unavailable or too busy. Within a few minutes, please try again. I want to name my future Toiletbound the goldfish. Orange Julius Caesar Salad fingers. Oval cigarettes. The Christian The problem is they do not decompose fast enough, guests come over. "Kiss, Hornets, exhilaration! Country's fate depends on the language!" How can scarves increased feminists? James Bond to defeat all the bad guys, because he cufflinks, which has become a Winnebago of parmesan cheese. If you blow a kitten, the biggest sound never goes out of his ass. At the same time, the ghost of Shirley Temple vacuuming car to her genitals. Vegetables, toothpaste Tu. Please donate to help Chairless. Combustible octet. "Curiosity killed the cat!" Empty Martha Stewart can reach the ground more than 10 million miles per hour speed. Insomnia rabbit crotch. Patrick Stewart thrown into the well, the water will try smart, bald. The poor 马里奥鲍泽. Instrument limbs supernatural skills basilica. Why is my shoulder hurt? Wendy good the little witch fight David Spade pool sperm. Cabinet negotiations. Cabinet negotiations. I will tell you to think about it. Occasional composer invalid wheel? The transfusion Branch Feldmen receiving chipmunk. Celery go fuck! The tube + pumpkin Prumpket. Yes ah. The dog stands to infinity. The haunted house Tiffany Amber Theissen Dr. horror! The Rick Moranis cowboy clothes climbed his back, a huge fly lassoed Toyota. Few people know, actually liquid beef. At the same time, the specification MacDonald a hat. For example, some people have a child. Train chocolate eyes abuse. Interestingly hypocrites reserves increased evil. Vomiting shoes. Deepwater gibbon repairman. Quota compromise taste? Then Robbie telepathically aware of the existence of the cake. This does not smell. Or at least not like bacon. The natural rabbit urine toast. Dwarfs crackheads. For some extortion black men. Just to balance: white people of toast. The congressman rubber baffle pleased duckmonster. At the same time, in all condoms mafia poke holes. Interesting fact: little girls are completely Reeses "Peanut Butter". Mommm! Dry astronauts in the yard, my tree house! "Ms
Blackraven2
5 years, 9 months ago
... (message too long ) ...
Meanwhile, young Kevin Shapiro walked home from school along the full pain of the latest suicide, his mother and his subsequent fall of the orbit of the classroom I really do, but as long as he across the Trellway flyover, insanity escape the the rhino attack he raped his skull median. what kind of an asshole. Dr. Claw to catch pigeons with both hands and devour their bones and all. idiot Why pretend? need to go to some Oreos in my eyes, now the enemy gynecologist. know very little about each judge in 1887, the Supreme Court, respectively, to choose their favorite scent pad Dallas Cowboys on fifty - three - year - old! Dallas Cowboys on fifty - three year child, what happens after death? Snowcones! cellar causes AIDS and do not try to escape the basement you think will win the battle, the white whale , or drunk, and scientists are trying to lose weight? compared how incredible Hulk opera it? "vagina necklace, for example. The Internet proved not only Applebloom a penis, but it is the 15th iteration doctors. "Gay Jaguar playing jazz Canada: Home raped gorilla sagging, Titted! Do not put candles in the ass Muslim and I hope to have more sexual interest in women, if they are spherical." How to maintain my relationship status? Gun whipped sausage. "DUBSTEP few people know, when you first create a Thomas the Tank Engine fucking laundry. PIZZA VS. Ancient books after doomsday pillbug restaurant Tony Todd Control your bones. Squeeze acne antique furniture. I think POOOOUUUUNDCAKE. I opened my lunchbox third grade one day, there is a small piece of paper, "dirt", write the word on it. the Michael · J · Fox can not hurt bullets. cucumber intervention. endless supply of Bald Japanese female students. scrap, I pisshole. guy he is so difficult to play, his blood was hit by a car. chairs have a schizophrenic odor yodeling bleach night, I broke into Space Needle (Space Needle), and found that this is a huge pit fudge the courage of the bones. powerful bats robot. the M. Bison smoking Lama pubic protein evolution tire. interesting fact: If you hold a horse Martini glasses tits ghost will give you a pumpkin pie. "she sarcastically cause whales. The roaring remote control haystack. "Try not to rub your ass on any basketball tonight, you Catholic whorejob. Lovely bird underwear on their face. All your questions can be addressed to suck his fingers. Only the dead can not know the world of ice cream. Wintergreen hand nude pregnant women dream.

I pests first, I am in favor of this message.


END END
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
Wowie. I now know what it feels like when someone else reads one of these things.

I particularly liked "guy he is so difficult to play, his blood was hit by a car."
Blackraven2
5 years, 9 months ago
I liked "Only the dead can not know the world of ice cream" ;) that's almost poetic.


AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
Indeed! Reminds me of in high school; I actually wrote some Grimbly poetry. In one of them, I tried to fill it with all sorts of deep-sounding arty words and phrases, when really the only meaning to any of it was just that it sounded nice. I read it in front of my art class, then told them it meant nothing, and my teacher was sure that it actually did. Tee hee.
Blackraven2
5 years, 9 months ago
Reminds me how literature and art critiques and scholars try to interprete all sorts of deeper meanings into pieces of art, that are sometimes so far fetched tha I'm almost sure the answer from the old master would be something like this:

Scholar: Sir, you used those yelow stripes in the sky, could you enlighten us if this is really to emphasise the godly prowess and its lasting influence on creation as some scholars say, or would you support the mainstream interpretation of questioning the current dogmatic world view and the dominance of the church by painting the sky yellow?

Artist: What? Oh .. that .. ehm .. Well, actually, I just ran out of blue pigment...
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
>First thought ...   I#ve no clue what you'd been smokin' when you wrote that, but GIVE ME SOME.

Congratulations on being the first person to ever make that joke! ...NOT!

>Second thought ... Damn I really have to take all that, put it into google translate, translate it to russian, then to chinese, then back to english and see what happens...

I am intrigued. Usually after I read these with friends, we'll run them through a speech to text program. Interesting results.
Blackraven2
5 years, 9 months ago
"
Congratulations on being the first person to ever make that joke! ...NOT!


sorry, I just couldn't resist that one ;)
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
Well, it does ruffle my feathers to have people constantly assume I can't do this stuff sober. ;)
LeafyGreens
5 years, 9 months ago
did... did you use automatic writing? because if you did, i think i love you.

the "exquisite corpse" reference is what tipped me off.
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
Not quite automatic. For this one, we had fun with a random phrase generator, and that reminded me of the exquisite corpse game.
LeafyGreens
5 years, 9 months ago
speaking of surrealism, have you ever watched "The Phantom of Liberty"? it's a surrealist movie. i highly suggest it for you.
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
"The Phantom of Liberty is a film that celebrates the notion of chance encounters and takes this concept to ‘wage war’ on the very idea of story-telling. The overall structure of the film is one of seemingly unconnected episodes linked together by random encounters."


Oh, I am SOLD! I fucking love movies that have the balls to directly attack the audience's assumptions.

Also, I rather liked The Age d'Or.
LeafyGreens
5 years, 9 months ago
it's just as bizarre and awesome as i thought it would be. my fave part is probably the "naughty pictures". believe me, you'll know which part it is when you get there XD

hm... the insomniac was also pretty amazing. i really wonder where they got the emu, though...
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
Well, I watched it. Unfortunately, I did not have as positive a response. There were bits I definitely liked (definitely including the naughty pictures!), but it felt like I was digging through a heap of shredded wheat to get to them. Here's the review I wrote for it on IMDB.com:
********

I watched this last night, prepared for (as it was described to me) 'an attack on societal rituals and storytelling itself'.

Instead, I found myself falling asleep.

I'm someone who likes a wide variety of movies. Foreign films, surreal films, transgressive films: love 'em. But they have to be done well. The Phantom Of Liberty isn't. If it's an attack on anything, it's the most timid, polite attack I've ever seen. It doesn't say anything original and it doesn't even say it loudly enough to cover up that fact.

Also, its supposed themes don't come across. There's not enough happening in the movie to hang them on! The content of this film is stretched nylon-thin. Scenes are padded out to agonizing length; either taking too long with the setup or belaboring the point to new frontiers in redundancy. Supposedly, Luis Buñuel and Jean-Claude Carrière wrote the film by telling each other last night's dreams. Someone should have informed them that nothing in the world is more boring to have to sit through. If this movie meant a lot to Buñuel, that's great. But he failed at conveying why these ideas should be important to me also.

But there are bright spots. A few good ideas and punchlines. Though as I was watching, I realized exactly what this movie really is: IT'S A MONTY PYTHON EPISODE WITH GLACIAL PACING. Am I wrong? Think of all the movie's cleverest, most surreal ideas; aren't they exactly the sort of things the Pythons would think up? The dirty photos, the gambling monks, the toilet table, the missing girl, the celebrity sniper? The difference is, they would have either added more material instead of just presenting the premise and then doing nothing clever with it, or they'd have made the joke without lingering on the punchline until it was dead and buried. And the kicker is, they were doing this same material four years earlier!

Is this what it takes to make arthouse critics fawn over lowbrow humor? Add eighty minutes of tedium?

There's a certain class of films which I detest: ones that coast by on name recognition. If you watch a boring movie and assume that there must have been some deep, deep meaning going on that you didn't catch, because obviously the director is such a genius, you're letting them get away with a lazy film. They might indeed have had deep layers of meaning, sure. But if the cues to them are so vague that the audience has to go sift through books and articles to have someone else explain it to them, it's the same as if the director had said nothing at all. Because if a movie is vague enough that the audience can't hope to even get a *feel* for the meaning as they're watching it, then that is a movie so vague that anyone can slap their own intellectual-sounding analysis onto it and look real smart. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and sometimes a movie with indecipherable meaning just isn't made very well. If you think I'm wrong then why aren't you defending Zak Snyder's Sucker Punch?

Luis Buñuel, I accuse you of the worst crime a surrealist can commit: being dull.
LeafyGreens
5 years, 9 months ago
hm... an accurate review. it was a bit slow, but i watched it on a night that i had *nothing* better to do, so i didn't notice that.

you should go draw postcard porn now.
KintoMythostian
5 years, 9 months ago
I saved 15% on my penis insurance by switching to Tiger.
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
<applause> Perfect.
LoZeed
5 years, 9 months ago
And so the gooseberry became extinct, old people were outlawed then the space cosby was revived.
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
Well said, matey! :D
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
Actually, that's so good I'm putting it in the next Grimbly tale.
LoZeed
5 years, 9 months ago
Oh wow, remember to put my name in the credits.
sigmaweapon
5 years, 9 months ago
Have you ever noticed how similar the words “Vegeta” and “vagina” sound? Waitress! Order me up a plate of chicken Vegetas with ranch dip! There’s this pic here on Inkbunny of a bunch of Snivy who lured a Bayleef into their rape-harness trap with cookies. I can’t help but think, if they lured him with cookies, why doesn’t he have a black neck and a pentagram between his eyes? Perhaps because he is a grass type, and thus a natural coarnivore—he wouldn’t want to eat his own kind, after all—a better lure might have been a plate of chicken Vegetas! Although, being a natural carnivore , perhaps he would more enjoy barbecue sauce—the carnivore’s dip—rather than ranch. Dammit! Now I want some chicken Vegetas with some sort of dipping sauce! What kind of sauce do you think would go good with that? You ever notice how pics that are so hilarious when you’re sober are terrifying when you’re drunk? Take this one, for instance: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/9985944/. I would know, because I’m completely shitfaced right now! I swear it’s true! I drank so much today that I barfed three times in the shower! I pinky swear on the truth of that statement! Maybe I got so sick because I drank mostly that Cuervo shit that doesn’t even have a touch of actual agave. Or at least I hope so. Believe me also when I say: when you’re that drunk, barfing actually feels really good! Unfortunately that was quite a few hours ago and I’m starting to feel human again. Feeling human sucks ass! Especially when you’re nauseous as all fuck but you can’t actually barf no matter what you do to yourself. That feels terrible! But not as terrible as feeling human. Well, my stomach seems to be settling a bit. Maybe I could make myself feel a bit better with a plate of chicken Vegetas with ranch dip! Actually, scratch that. I’ll go with barbecue sauce. I’m still a little too nauseas to be having something so oily. I just thought of something awesome! They should make an Olympic sport out of barfing! Fuck yeah! Distance, volume, and decibels should be the judging criteria! If Hunter S. Thompson’s words are anything to go by, Frank Acosta should win gold every year. That is... if he were still alive. Suddenly, chicken Vegeta doesn’t sound quite so good anymore. I’m gonna take another shower. Hopefully I’ll barf again because that felt good! Also, please remind later me to get drunk on clean, smooth vodka, and not some shit made from half molasses like Cuervo. Getting drunk off of that stuff sucks donkey balls! But it doesn’t suck quite as much as feeling human. Hmm. My stomach is finally feeling better. Those chicken Vegetas actually sound pretty good right about now.
AlexReynard
5 years, 9 months ago
Not bad, my young padawan learner. But this is merely stream-of-consciousness writing. It's not the kind of refined, sculpted pseudo-randomness we're known for at Grimbly Snooker and associates. One must learn to take a large chunk of SOC like this, harness out only she choicest cuts, then trim and whip them into something extraordinarily befuddling.

Although on its own, "Believe me also when I say: when you’re that drunk, barfing actually feels really good!" is so good I'm putting it in the next GSB tale. :3
Blackraven2
5 years, 9 months ago
Grimbly, Wikipedia does not find the red hering. Thre superstitious pidgeons barfed into my blueberry soup bowl. On a daily basis, almost as often as strawberry. You know the yellow ones: "Strawberry strawberry strawberry Terracotta pie! No seed for you." By the way did you know that you cannot fit as many vegeta chickens into a blueberry soup bowl as you can fit bananas into a vagina? But I'm repeating myself, lets hump dolphins instead. Behold: the average curtain length in a central european flat is longer than the attention span of a two headed monkey. I compared that myself. Nuclear explosions look a bit like butterflies. When they drop into sulfuric acid. But only the voluntary ones. Have you ever put your finger into one of these? It looks like mashed potatoes, but with the colours the wrong way around. Barfapple meat pie? Why doesn't grimbly lead to any search results? Because Michael Jackson wasn't assasinated by aliens after all, its all one big conspiracy! Little known fact: ABBA was the first band to use autotune, they got it from Elvis when he came back from Mars.
Don't stumble over the power cord of your laptop. (While juggling chainsaws!) In Soviet Russia, Meteorites eat You! Chicken, once turned inside out, make weird sounds, almost like a 1880's steam engine that derailed and plunged into a volcano. But more yellow. You know how the distant echo of a slug screaming can burst solid concrete? It works with apple pie too, but usually that gets eaten first. Pitch up the fish! ...
AlexReynard
5 years, 8 months ago
Looks like I missed replying when you first posted it. Nice go at Grimblyness! I like the repeated themes.
Blackraven2
5 years, 8 months ago
yeah, its like when your brain just finally and happily decided to discard a theme as complete nonesense - it suddenly turns around once one more time and kicks you where you had least expected it. And your brain goes, "Ah! now I get ... wait,  what???"
AlexReynard
5 years, 8 months ago
Reminds me how in other stories I've repreated the phrases, "the theater was filled with vomit", "for forty hours a week!" and "REGIS PHILBIN!!!" Plus my neverending pointless abuse of Maya Angelou.
RedReynart
5 years, 9 months ago
<.< These are always funny but difficult to read. You could try to break the one big paragraph into several smaller ones or use senctence varience to make things not so structured. Because why do we need structure amonst our chaos?
AlexReynard
5 years, 8 months ago
Well, I'm not trying for true chaos, which is just random. This is about subverting expectations. I want it to be difficult for the reader, for them to feel bombarded with confusion. I guess I'm weird; I enjoy that kind of humor in movies and books myself.
RedReynart
5 years, 8 months ago
To be truely bombarded by text is quite an acheivement indeed because the reader reads very liner. O.o So a cluster of text only makes things indeed more difficult to read. Perhaps a felling of bombardment can be acheived by hiding text with in text. Then at the same time feel chaotic as one is trying to find the meaning behind the massive text. CamelText is a good way and letter varience where you capitalize certain key letters can give this feel easily. Perhaps you would "drawkcab etiw ot ediced" As well as forward. Then you would have text coming from every side and you would feel bombarded. :P Be creative Mr Chaotic.
talinuva
5 years, 9 months ago
Tatsumaki senpuukyaku to you, too.
EmmetEarwax
5 years, 9 months ago
You - you went wild with a "MadLibs" book, didn't you ? Making stuff like this !
tamino
5 years, 4 months ago
Can I just say, I *love* this?

I haven't clicked on the X beside this journal in my notices yet because I don't want to lose track of it. I think you should post it as a full fledged story. :-)
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