The most curious instances of my life have been in full devotion to what I refer to as the negative element, or perhaps even the human condition. In my personal insight and perceptions, I've come to regard humanity as a great measure of many things. This is to present however on a much more heaving neutral stand point rather than a weight or merits function.
Though some of you may be questioning as to why I refer toward the human condition in the title as being in duality with the Negative measure of understanding. To be all frank it is the side I especially see in both my line of work throughout my worldly life and the inner dwellings of medial exchanging posts/galleries. To not confuse yourself however I will state that in the same manner of stance, this negative is also a positive. We'll get more upon the very subject shortly.
I have a great respect for individualism just as much I do of human beings in general. This is to also state that I fear them without end and sharing the common element of all degrading mental scents, Hate them all the same. A pure example would be that I respect the work of others yet can quite detest the maker themselves. Passion as you may well known is quite viral and infests us with such emotions and brilliance. The human condition which is also just as irrational as the words I currently write here now.
I wish to express in this portion some of that negative element and finish with an expression of positive in the closing point. Consider this indeed myself allowing the ability to have relief of my inner emotions for I just as any other repress and detain them consistently. I am so vastly weary of many, so much so I have developed the perception that there is indeed a different set of individuals that hilariously consider themselves of the human race, to in fact not be human at all. This is something I both do and do not believe. To lack intelligence and perception may be as to not live at all, let alone be an actual human, but weight of philosophy in comparison to life is a ruined and prejudiced accusation for such a title. I digress. What does indeed both me is the apparent notice that majority that speak in reference to my gallery do not seem to realize none of the music is my own. This then wraps upon itself they have in no time taken it upon themselves to read or feel the work for what it is. If so, they also might apparently lack the ability to feel the weight of it's substance.
It quite disturbs me, terrifies me. More so I take particular notice of those wishing to demoralize the principles and grounds that the very work is held on. I'm honestly challenged most times on the meanings, the references: The why and how of what something means. It's a humoring and sad thing to find this on one's own work. As if the one seeking this knowledge has something to prove, and if met with an answer they do not perceive, they grow vile over such remarks and cast against it. Another example would be the fruits of my own word when freeing myself from my shell of social anxiety to express to a particular individual of a request to perhaps see one singular picture of their true feelings, of meaning and depth into their minds, desires, feelings and viewings than the more easily fixated sensuality this community is most fond of. In here too I am most unwanted. Which once more refers upon my viewings of separates: What it is to truly be human and another to be a shadow of human.
Though I speak harshly in these terms. It is without justice nor fairness to state my only feelings are of illness and dark. I'm quite fond a many that this community holds. I feel even much grateful for the existence of the poets and writers, those especially whom trespass amongst a crowd who both pays no mind and further more devalues them below all others. There are those of you even whom I silently smile upon and give much prayer to in hopes of your nurtured minds. My very husband is a direct example unto myself that the world is not without treasure. I'm ever more excited to also see those of you that especially look deeper into yourselves, and follow not what others lead you by, but what you lead yourself by in the unending steps of your deepening senses. There is no paradise without fault as there are no true meanings towards perfection, but to those of you who take the time and feel rather than just see, you've my truest regards.
5 years, 10 months ago
18 Feb 2013 05:03 CET