We all know sad songs, some we like to listen to, some we avoid. But then, there's that one song that makes you cry, but you love to listen to it, you can't get enough. It makes you think of your past, and what you had, or didn't have, and it makes you think about your life. For me, that song is My Immortal by Evanescence. If you haven't heard the song, here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5anLPw0Efmo. If you listen to the lyrics (or pull them up online) she is talking about how she was hurt and the wounds never heal. At the end of the song, she says "I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. But though you're still with me. I've been alone all along" It reminds me of the time I never got to spend with my father, seeing how my parents got divorced when I was 7, and I only got to see him twice a month. He never really got to know me, nor did I get to know him. Even though I am 19 now, I can't really get to know him now, since he has his own things to do, and I have my own, it feels like I will never truly know him. The only people that really know him are my brother and sister, because they were given more freedom, due to them not having... social issues like I have.
You can't really get to know someone just through the things they tell you, so I can't ask my brother or sister what he is like. The worst part of it is, when I was younger, I barely knew my brother or sister, because they hated me. They thought I was getting special treatment, when in reality, my mother was just trying to help me succeed. Once I learned how to control my anger and become socially acceptable, I got to be friendly with the rest of my family, except my dad. He never wanted to accept that I was different and I have to try hard to be someone I'm not, just to be accepted. He couldn't accept that his youngest son had a flaw. He still can't accept my difficulties in life, which has made it impossible for me to tell him I am pansexual, he wouldn't be able to accept that either. I don't know what I should do, my mother is very understanding, and said she will love me no matter what (cheesy, I know), but my father is just completely bull headed. I love all my friends, and I am grateful that you have been able to accept the real me.