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Adilor

3/14/11

by
The past couple weeks have made me wonder what I'm doing here. I don't seem to belong. What friends I've tried to make either don't seem interested in me at all, or turn out to be people with significant social or personality disorders. The only friends I feel like I have right now are the ones I had before I moved down here 3 months ago.

My allergies are hellacious down here. The dry climate is wreaking havoc on my sinuses. Even back in January I was dealing with this, and that's not something that ever happened in Oregon. Even right now as I sit here typing this, I've got a roll of toilet paper next to me (for lack of a box of tissues, which I'd go through in a few days like this anyway), ready for the next inevitable sneeze. I know medication will only be a waste of money, just as it always has been.

I'm emotionally starved. I feel like, once again, that the only two people who even remotely care about me at all are the two that convinced me that moving down here was a good idea...and even then I'm not feeling it that much. An utter lack of physical contact doesn't help this, either. Typical as it might sound, I feel just completely unloved, like all I am to them is just a friend, when I was supposed to be more than that.

I daresay I've made a very hasty, unwise decision in moving so far from what I know. There's a very strong desire for me to move back up north, and even further; I'd be going all the way to Seattle. I have many a friend there that would be glad to know that I'm moving within casual visiting range. Not only that...but there's someone up there that wants me more than anyone else...and I want her too. Moreso than I've ever felt at any point previously in my life, I feel like I've found someone I can truly love.
Viewed: 29 times
Added: 7 years, 7 months ago
 
ArtemisVulpes
7 years, 7 months ago
Home is where the heart is buddy. I really really hate the idea of leaving the northwest. >.<
Kupok
7 years, 7 months ago
I wasn't even aware you were in Colorado :o
Adilor
7 years, 7 months ago
Not Colorado, no. Still further west than that.
Kupok
7 years, 7 months ago
Oh @w@

Well, If this location is not working out for you, And it's not too hard to pick up and move, Wander, Find a place that agrees with your biology and social needs! I wandered for some time before I found my place I'm content with :3
Gobby
7 years, 7 months ago
Seattle is a beautiful place.  I hope you find happiness. :3
Adilor
7 years, 7 months ago
I hope so too. I don't believe I need to hope; I'm pretty damn sure that I would be happy up there...but I still do hope, nonetheless.
Shokuji
7 years, 7 months ago
Looks like you have solid reasons for feeling the way you do. I think it's time for you to come back home so you can be happy again. And don't let her get away! Go after her. Life is too short, don't let anything pass you by.
DOtter
7 years, 7 months ago
Sounds to me like you have a plan. Get ready and implement it.
Drakevaldor
7 years, 6 months ago
I know how this can go! I just moved to Georgia from NY...and the allergies here are wild! I've yet to make any friends here as well, with the exception of the "Friends" Ive made at work, who will no longer be friends if we didn't work together xP Just hold on, I hope things get better for you! I'd be glad to chat with you sometime too xP
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