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AlexReynard

Sometimes I Type Goofy Shit.

*It's true that video games influence behavior. I played through Bioshock and now I eat potato chips from the pockets of corpses.


*Today on a church lawn I saw a sign that said, "I need Jesus". And I thought, 'You do not need Jesus. You are a sign. You are made of plastic and wood. You do not have the capacity for spiritual yearning.'


*I adopted a kid just this afternoon. Dee-licious! <picks teeth>


*Ever imagine Hitler as a toddler? Isn't it creepy? And can you do it without adding the mustache? I can't.


*Interesting idea: Since genitals are almost never seen on cartoon characters, what if eyelashes, bows, toon gloves, etc. are the sexual organs?


*I just got this mental image of an old, crabby white racist sitting at a computer and he types in where it says Find: black people
Then clicks on: Drag to trash
Then: Delete
Then he goes outside, and there's still black people.
'Damn you, technology!!!'


*MOTHERSUCKING COCKFUCKER.


*Topping the bestseller list this week:
'My Deeply Emotional, Shamelessly Self-Indulgent, Poorly-Drawn Graphic Novel About Cancer (Which Is Just Like The Other 10,001 Deeply Emotional, Shamelessly Self-Indulgent And Poorly-Drawn Graphic Novels About Cancer Already Out There)'
by Some Cunt


*If we stop global warming, my cocoa will go cold. :c


*I have a great new conspiracy theory.
We never actually went to the moon. The shuttle overshot the mark and landed on Pluto, and the footage they brought back, they just said it was the moon.


*GUY 1: Did you hear about that abortion pill?
GUY 2: RU486?
GUY 1: No, I'm against it.
Viewed: 151 times
Added: 5 years, 8 months ago
 
SenGrisane
5 years, 8 months ago
Silly Alex. Goofy is a toon and does not poop. ^^

I misread: " *If we stop global warming, my cloaca will go gold. :c
(oh god XD "gold" was a typo. I only misread cocoa.)

And the mothersucking bit sounds not too bad actually :P
AlexReynard
5 years, 8 months ago
" SenGrisane wrote:
Silly Alex. Goofy is a toon and does not poop. ^^

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/2872062/
(You probably should not click on that.)

>I misread: " *If we stop global warming, my cloaca will go gold. :c
(oh god XD "gold" was a typo. I only misread cocoa.)

THAT SENTENCE IS FANTASTIC.
SenGrisane
5 years, 8 months ago
Oh noes. I clicked :C

When the powers of typo and misunderstandment combine, then I am Captain Planet.
GrandApollo
5 years, 7 months ago
Oh, hey! That's one of the links I use to mess with people who think I can't find something disturbing to them!

...

Yes, sometimes I am a troll.
EmmetEarwax
5 years, 4 months ago
A toon should never have human weaknesses - diabetes, cancer, ....
SenGrisane
5 years, 4 months ago
I would think that a classic toon would rarely need to have those
EmmetEarwax
5 years, 4 months ago
Well, in the fan-fic "Family" starring the Warners, and tracing their descent from a brother of Bosco the Talk-Ink Kid, Wakko is described as diabetic (his pancreas had quit on him, and he now needs to carry insulin around with him or have it right on hand). I, too, have diabetes, but in type 2, and I only have to take 4 pills a day, well, 3 -because one causes side-effects.
    Also one story-arc in the work, involved Yakko and Bugs in a serious traffic accident and both were in guarded condition for quite some time, with fears that Yakko might be a half-vegetable. He finally recovered. The story is still in progress, tho the lunacy of their screen persona, is shown in the book as scripted, that Yakko is capable of stern discipline when his sibs misbehave.

Also Yakko is described in the opening film to each show as "lactose-intolerant".
SenGrisane
5 years, 4 months ago
There are no rules for fan-fic  ^^
Kolo
5 years, 8 months ago
*Ever imagine Hitler as a toddler? Isn't it creepy? And can you do it without adding the mustache? I can't.

Have you ever heard of Evil Baby Orphanage?
AlexReynard
5 years, 8 months ago
I have not. Is it an evil orphanage or are the babies evil?
Kolo
5 years, 8 months ago
It's a fiction thing created by John and Hank Green [YT - Vlogbrothers, DFTBA, Nerdfighteria, you might've heard of it], About sending a time machine to when evil people were babies then transporting them to an evil baby orphanage and making them good. Some of their fans, which collectively are called the Nerdfighters, made a professional card game of it.
EmmetEarwax
5 years, 8 months ago
There was a hoax years ago, where a picture of a grimacing baby was said to be that of a baby Hitler. Actually it was a doctored photo of a baby in Westport,Conn., taken in 1934 . The photo was messed up to make the baby look like somebody capable of murdering 6 million Jews, and hellish numbers of gypsies, homosexuals, etc., in the future ! The mother of the boy in the photo is at a loss to imagine how a photo of her son, 8 years old and in school,(at time of the complaint) got to Austria !

The story is discussed in HOAXES (Dover books) by Curtis MacDougall (1958)
chaosblackwing
5 years, 8 months ago
Lucky you picked Bioshock, I played Tetris, organized my room, and half my stuff disappeared!

On the jesus sign, obviously they ran out of room, as the second half was supposed to say 'to finish mowing this lawn'.

No need to keep your cocoa warm via global warming, just find a fundamentalist, hold out the cup of cocoa, and either tell him that gay people still exist or hand him one of Dawkin's books. Then, soon as he catches fire, just warm your drink from the radiant heat!
AlexReynard
5 years, 8 months ago
>Lucky you picked Bioshock, I played Tetris, organized my room, and half my stuff disappeared!

ROTFL! That's excellent. :)

>On the jesus sign, obviously they ran out of room, as the second half was supposed to say 'to finish mowing this lawn'.

That's two for two! :)

>No need to keep your cocoa warm via global warming, just find a fundamentalist, hold out the cup of cocoa, and either tell him that gay people still exist or hand him one of Dawkin's books. Then, soon as he catches fire, just warm your drink from the radiant heat!

Couldn't I just skip a step and set him on fire myself?
chaosblackwing
5 years, 8 months ago
>Couldn't I just skip a step and set him on fire myself?

Well yes, but it's much more entertaining to watch them do it themselves. Not to mention if you want a bonfire you can get a whole crowd at once.
Humbug
5 years, 8 months ago
I actually managed your Hitler challenge. What I did was take the cartoon image of the old Warner Bros. Hitler, shrunk the head and put it on a toddler's body, replaced the mustache with a deeply-set groove on the upper lip, and made the comb-over shrink. Sure, it's a cartoon, but I think that still fits the parameters of your challenge.
AlexReynard
5 years, 8 months ago
Adult Hitler head on a baby's body is creeping me out.
Humbug
5 years, 8 months ago
Good. Now go write a creepypasta about it. ;)
ScottyKat
5 years, 8 months ago
Lol this is silly.  gloves and ribbons are the sex organs.. How do you explain gadget?
 * shoves my hands in fifi's ribbons and molesters *  

When i thought of hitler as a toddler.. the mostashe was there. XD

Mothersucking cockfucker... Im gonna go suck a mother and fuck a cock so hard he'll
be cumming my spooge for a month. XD

Hehe your stuff is too fun Alex =3
AlexReynard
5 years, 8 months ago
>Lol this is silly.  gloves and ribbons are the sex organs.. How do you explain gadget?
 * shoves my hands in fifi's ribbons and molesters *  

Well, Gadget obviously is the rare mutation with an actual vagina. Hence why she always has to wear clothes.

>Mothersucking cockfucker... Im gonna go suck a mother and fuck a cock so hard he'll be cumming my spooge for a month. XD

Have fun!

>Hehe your stuff is too fun Alex =3

Muchas gracias. ^__^
ScottyKat
5 years, 8 months ago
heh, rare mutation XD  
Glad your so fun to bs with =3
*Runs off with Lexi for a bit*
asuraludu
5 years, 8 months ago
*I adopted a kid just this afternoon. Dee-licious! <picks teeth>
-  Possum or Bat?

*Ever imagine Hitler as a toddler? Isn't it creepy? And can you do it without adding the mustache? I can't.
- Its a birthmark.  He just never wanted to admit it.

*MOTHERSUCKING COCKFUCKER.
-I used this at work.  Minds were blown.

*If we stop global warming, my cocoa will go cold. :c
-Little known fact,  An Inconvenient Truth was inspired by watching marshmallows melt in cocoa.
KevinSnowpaw
5 years, 8 months ago


*Ever imagine Hitler as a toddler? Isn't it creepy? And can you do it without adding the mustache? I can't.

Yes but I cant seem to get the image of Hitler with a black magic Marker out of my head so he still has the mustache even if it's drawn on.


*If we stop global warming, my cocoa will go cold. :c
-Little known fact,  An Inconvenient Truth was inspired by watching marshmallows melt in cocoa. [/q]

If this is true, Mind=Blown!
AlexReynard
5 years, 8 months ago
>Possum or Bat?

Human. Didn't have to de-pelt it first.

>Its a birthmark.  He just never wanted to admit it.

Wow... What if Hitler was a harelip and grew the mustache to hide it?

>I used this at work.  Minds were blown.

Hopefully you do not work in a hospital, funeral home or daycare.

>Little known fact,  An Inconvenient Truth was inspired by watching marshmallows melt in cocoa.

...Is that true or are you making a funny?
asuraludu
5 years, 8 months ago
Hopefully you do not work in a hospital, funeral home or daycare.
- College library... but still the same effect.

...Is that true or are you making a funny?
-Making a funny, but I would not doubt that some type of melting image was seen to make Al Gore go "Hmmm that reminds me of the ice caps."
sigmaweapon
5 years, 8 months ago
If you ever find yourself at a Star Trek convention, and William Shatner grabs you by the arm, drags you into the men's room, and asks you if you would like to see THE CAPTAIN'S LOG, just politely decline.

Please take my advice to heart. I fell for that trick three time!
AlexReynard
5 years, 8 months ago
But what if I want to see William shatner's poop?
LoZeed
5 years, 8 months ago
The correct answer is S'poopy crisp, filled with vitamin J +1 it's good for your rectum.
Rakaziel
5 years, 7 months ago
>*It's true that video games influence behavior. I played through Bioshock and now I eat potato chips from the pockets of corpses.

I bet they would blame factory farming on Pokemon if they could.

>*Today on a church lawn I saw a sign that said, "I need Jesus". And I thought, 'You do not need Jesus. You are a sign. You are made of plastic and wood. You do not have the capacity for spiritual yearning.'

Best answered with a sign "You need an intervention."

>*I adopted a kid just this afternoon. Dee-licious! <picks teeth>

xD "And this is where my inner child comes from."

>*Ever imagine Hitler as a toddler? Isn't it creepy? And can you do it without adding the mustache? I can't.

Actually, there was a british newspaper made an article about Hitler's childhood - and they used an other, more menacing looking baby instead of his own photo.

>*Interesting idea: Since genitals are almost never seen on cartoon characters, what if eyelashes, bows, toon gloves, etc. are the sexual organs?

If we go by plant anatomy, this would actually work. The eyelashes carry pollen, and the bows are the recievers. Which would make the 'males' eunuchs, again.
Cartoon gloves look more like clothing - most likely the fingers are the sex organs, like the penile tentacles of some octopi.

>*I just got this mental image of an old, crabby white racist sitting at a computer and he types in where it says Find: black people
Then clicks on: Drag to trash
Then: Delete
Then he goes outside, and there's still black people.
'Damn you, technology!!!'

xD You just gave me an idea for spam mail. "Cheap Legal Services! Been Screwed Over by Nigerian Princes Again? We Send Them To The Dungeon! Just Enter Your Bank Account And PIN Code So We Can Confirm Your Case!"

>*MOTHERSUCKING COCKFUCKER.

xD MOTHERCOOKING SOCKFUCKER

>*Topping the bestseller list this week:
'My Deeply Emotional, Shamelessly Self-Indulgent, Poorly-Drawn Graphic Novel About Cancer (Which Is Just Like The Other 10,001 Deeply Emotional, Shamelessly Self-Indulgent And Poorly-Drawn Graphic Novels About Cancer Already Out There)'
by Some Cunt

Closely followed by 'My Overly Wordy, Overly Melodramatic, Shamelessly Plagiated, Asolutely-Not-A-Self-Insert Vampire Fanfiction With Just Enough Porn To Sell It (Which Is Just Like All The Other Overly Wordy, Overly Melodramatic, Shamelessly Plagiated, Asolutely-Not-A-Self-Insert Vampire Fanfiction With Just Enough Porn To Sell Them)' by Hungry Hungry Housewife

>*If we stop global warming, my cocoa will go cold. :c

Actually, the cocoa production has decreased in the last years because the plants do not like the heat. And because the farmers rebel because wages are too low. Guess Big Chocolate will eventually either pay better and genetically engineer heat-resistant cocoa, or they will build automated vertical farms - either way, cocoa will get a lot more expensive in the coming decades.

>*I have a great new conspiracy theory.
We never actually went to the moon. The shuttle overshot the mark and landed on Pluto, and the footage they brought back, they just said it was the moon.

I have a better theory. The entire moon landing was just a coverup. It started with a video of some guys fooling around at Strategic Cocaine Reserve 54. The leak could no longer be contained, so they tried to add new audio.
The rocket was real, however - they built it to nuke the sovjet moonbase.

>*GUY 1: Did you hear about that abortion pill?
GUY 2: RU486?
GUY 1: No, I'm against it.

Rule 486a: Eventually, there will be a pill for it.
Rule 486b: Someone will be against it.
AlexReynard
5 years, 7 months ago
>Best answered with a sign "You need an intervention."

LOL

>If we go by plant anatomy, this would actually work. The eyelashes carry pollen, and the bows are the recievers. Which would make the 'males' eunuchs, again. Cartoon gloves look more like clothing - most likely the fingers are the sex organs, like the penile tentacles of some octopi.

Interesting theory. The novel Bait And Switch
theorizes that toons have no sex organs, but get 'orgasms' through toon violence and sight gags.

>xD MOTHERCOOKING SOCKFUCKER

That's a good one! :D

>Closely followed by 'My Overly Wordy, Overly Melodramatic, Shamelessly Plagiated, Asolutely-Not-A-Self-Insert Vampire Fanfiction With Just Enough Porn To Sell It (Which Is Just Like All The Other Overly Wordy, Overly Melodramatic, Shamelessly Plagiated, Asolutely-Not-A-Self-Insert Vampire Fanfiction With Just Enough Porn To Sell Them)' by Hungry Hungry Housewife

That beats mine by a mile. :)

>Actually, the cocoa production has decreased in the last years because the plants do not like the heat. And because the farmers rebel because wages are too low. Guess Big Chocolate will eventually either pay better and genetically engineer heat-resistant cocoa, or they will build automated vertical farms - either way, cocoa will get a lot more expensive in the coming decades.

I was not aware of that.
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