Well, the end of another year and admittedly it's been a rough nearly 3 years for me. So much has changed and to be bluntly honest, especially 2011 and 2012, I wasn't myself, long story short. I was in a terrible mindset and it definitely clouded my judgement on many levels, including plauging my outlook on life to points of being downright just dark. For some of those I have hurt in this past 2-3 years, I really am genuinely sorry if you have felt in that manner. I really had the best intentions for everyone, but with what was happening to me by a certain group of people, I will admit I wasn't myself at all whatsoever. My actions have been questionable and I have done and said a few things I do look back and frown upon. However, all of that is behind me now. Even though it was BS to begin with, but I honestly feel since we "survived the impending doom", this shall be a fresh start for me. 2013 is my new beginning on my new life, and I am long overdue for a fresh start.
Now that I'm not in a hurtful, mentally/very emotionally abusive relationship anymore, I have had time to try and just clear my mind a bit, try to refocus my life and get things straight. I've got a ways to go before I get things settled again with a few people, or tieing up loose ends financially, but overall get everything in my past out of my life so I can make room for the future. This entire journey in this last 3 years, especially in 2011, have been very eye-opening for me. I have a brand new perspective on life and admittedly my demeanor has changed a bit too. My overall philosophy now has deepened to the point of "Life is too short to be upset by things all the time. You're only put on this earth once, so make the most out of it and enjoy while you're still here, but make sure to treat others well and leave an impact before you leave the planet."
That's my goal atleast, try and get a new life, just start completely over; move on from the past, since I can't change what happened at all. But now I've gotten that dismal subject off my chest for those of you who were curious about why I was keeping things secret. Now, for a little bonus, I'm compiling a prototype bucket list, soon to add and change at will, but just giving a general idea what my goals/plans are for my new beginning.
-Start fresh, find out who I am in this world; finetune my personality/work on negative aspects
-Knock out my impending debt/money owed to others, or atleast get a huge dent in it by the end of 2013
-Get a 2nd job/full-time job/better paying job sometime this year to get some better income coming in
-If able to, enroll in an Aikido class/dojo
-Get back to college to finish degree (Only in the medium since it may not happen this year with impending debt. No point in making myself add more stress to my finances when I'm trying to smooth things out)
-Get a good living plan for the near future (House searching)/Purchasing a house if preferable. (Similar reason to college above)
-Get a good savings plan ready (Only applicable if I receive a better paying job, or better income coming in)
-Work on getting back in shape (Preferably while attending the self defense class as gravy on the biscuits)
-Get my retro game collection started again/Developing a game room
-Starting on my figure collection (Will be sporadic, only getting things if the price is right, not high on my list)
-Invest in a new laptop/desktop sometime in the future
-Think about getting a newer vehicle (Low on list, since I have more important issues to look for atm.)
5 years, 11 months ago
31 Dec 2012 10:00 CET