So i lied back a few moments and suddenly thought about commishes and feeling overflow and letting people down and stuff
Why do i keep trying to take more then i can handle? because i dont really have a choice, or i choose to, if i stop at any given time, since my income from them isnt too great at all times, i cant help my parents make money and i feel i let others down
i thought to myself just now that maybe if i had a job i could actually choose to take less commishes so i dont bulk myself over what i thought i could do, or if i ever get as fast as
i could do both equally and awesomely, it would be nice but hm....
im just not sure, no im not thinking of stopping art, its just... where i am with commishes right now and forcing myself to do them, ... i just think im letting down my parents and my commishers by not doing them, but i bulk myself for the sake of my parents i guess....
TL:DR i guess is that if i get a job ill be able to take less commishes and feel like i let less people down, my brain functions by days, and i keep thinking every day that passes that i didnt get everything i had done im just keeping people one day more waiting
Sometimes i think im just too high-strung i guess? and Over-Critical in how i do arts, to a point i implode upon myself
Thats probably destructive behavior, and i should chill more but huh.....
Idk, just my mind on how i feel right now toward things X3;;
This is also kinda an apology to those ive kept waiting, Trades commishes and all, im really sorry forever. >: