Anyone who has ever chatted with me in here is probably aware that I am not exactly a social butterfly. I have never had more than 2 irl friends at any given time in my life. I've blamed it on moving around as a kid, having my childhood filled with adult responsibilities, and other factors; but I'm starting to think those explanations may not be entirely fair either. It is entirely possible that I am simply not very sociable, and it may not need any more explanation than that.
Because of the very few people I have ever felt close to, I have always felt that the friendships I have are something to cherish and protect. Though I have found in the last 2 or 3 years, not everyone feels the same way. A relationship ends, we decide to still be close friends; but my skype contact list is reduced by half in less than a week. My new boyfriend has an emotional breakdown, I try to be helpful; and I have one or two friends remove me over a trivial argument. I'm starting to get a little paranoid. I feel I may have put too much of my trust into people that may not care so much about me.
So here are my questions for you. Are you friends with me because you care about me or are you friends with me because you care about someone else I'm close to? Is your friendship with me so cheap to you that you would block/remove me at a comment, an argument at 3:30am, or because I'm friends with someone you don't particularly care for? I'm not interested in fake friends. If you don't like me for me, or if you only talk to me to stay in the good graces of someone else; then seriously consider removing yourself from my contact list today. That way I can get a better idea of who my real friends are; because, apparently, my judgement isn't as good as it used to be.
And to my real friends. To anyone who has stuck by me through the good and the bad. For anyone that has been on my absolute worst side and completely infuriated with me, but stuck around long enough to get over it and make up. To the people who are there for me when nobody else is, and would be there for me if their friends and family all hated me. Remember this: Your existence in my life is a precious and irreplaceable treasure. Even if there aren't very many of you... Quality is more important than quantity, and every one of you are special to me.
5 years, 10 months ago
13 Nov 2012 12:04 CET