Oh the things that went down at oklacon. So much happened; so many firsts and so many changes in my life. Unfortunately, there was a lot of shit. I had to deal with some drama that nearly ruined my night once; and the next day I was in tears and running away from the very person I went to oklacon to see. I wished that I had never met him and could have started over from day one. Yet, on the last day, I was still in tears wishing that the con wouldn't end. I wished I could stay with him.
Because, despite all that hurt, I had the best fucking time of my life! I saw my first concert, with him as the lead guitarist to boot, and it was the best time I had! I got my first drink at the concert, a few sips of jack and coke and about a half glass of jack and sprite which was a lot better than the first, and discovered that I am a very calm and affectionate drunk. affectionate with people I already know, at least. I'm sure the ability to loosen up and bounce more on the dance floor goes without saying. I am apparently a good drunk too, cus everybody said that they couldn't tell I wasn't sober! After the show I got to snuggle with master by the fire for several hours. Hell, the sun was comming up before we went to bed. The next night we went to sub level 03, and holy fucking shit that was the MOST intense thing I have ever experienced! The lights, the sounds, the fennwah trying to get me out of my hoody, it was all just too much... and I loved every fucking second of it!
As I slept things off when I got home after the con, I found myself wondering a little. As much fun as I had, it wasn't really anything I couldn't experience here. Was master, his mate, and fennwah really that big of a difference? Not terribly, but they did make a difference. However, all the drama didn't really seem worth it. I was terrified looking back at some of the things that happened, but then it dawned on me.
Why do people ride roller coasters? You get on them and you're terrified. Things build up, and your anticipation rises, then you are snapped and thrown about like a ragdoll. Sometimes the restraining bar hurts, sometimes the loopty loop makes you throw up, sometimes you just can't tell what happened and are shaken to the core; and yet, when you get off, you look at your quivering hands and stand on your shaking legs... with the biggest fucking grin on your face! that fear, that rush, that exhilarating flash of uncertainty just when you think the safety bars are going to let go but hold on tight and pull you back to safety, it's what anybody who rides the ride wants! When you get off, shaken, barely able to hold your ground, that's when you tighten up and brace yourself for more!
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11 years, 6 months ago
24 Oct 2012 01:52 CEST
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