I don't normally put this stuff out there, but every morning i wake up depressed and hating a lot of things about my life. I need to get a phone, we need internet for the house, we need a fridge, but oh no, aha, fuck that! I don't even know if I can put gas in the car tommorrow without cutting into my bill money.
Ugh, I hate this. My mate's great and I'm sure I'll get over this crap like I do every day and just put on my happy facade for work, but it's so tiring living like this. I went to college and got a goddamned degree to do my dream job but I'm still just stuck here in the ass end of Louisiana living by the skin of my teeth.
I once told my mate my greatest fear was that I would end up wasting my life and all the effort I've put into trying to lead a life I wanted.'
I'm constantly begging friends and family for money to pay my bills, I've hardly got the time to work on a professional profile with my college projects to get noticed, let alone actual new work or real applications to jobs I'd love, not that I could afford to move to a place near a job like that anyways.
So yeah, I guess I'm living my greatest fear then. I can say I hope things get better, but unless something changes, the raise I'm supposed to get just means I won't have to beg around.... as much....
5 years, 10 months ago
07 Oct 2012 14:18 CEST