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DaddyDuckyBE

Looq's ban

So now I've been banned by
Whippy
Whippy
. After 4 years that he's been my best friend both online and offline.

We used to be so close. We used to talk for hours and hours every day. I tried to cheer him up about his moods and make him feel better about himself whenever I could, but I also respected when he didn't feel like communicating with anyone. I helped him against people that he felt threatened by, and I also often acted as his authorized intermediary when he couldn't bring himself to say and do things on his own. I consoled him when he felt backstabbed by people, I helped him when somebody tried to blackmail him IRL, and I often tried to make him happy by sending him things that he wanted.

Now, all that changed around late last year when I started talking to him differently about his moods. I told him that I'd seen how he'd unfairly judged people because of his moods, perceiving them as malicious and being out to get him, and by then I'd seen many misunderstandings that had come about due to his moods. I told him I'd also noted how his moods influenced his memory, as such that when in his moods, he'd remember himself and others having said and done totally different things during past events. All that totally different from when not in his moods.

It...didn't seem to work out well. He never said anything about it, but suddenly he seemed to try setting new records of how many weeks passed between our talks. And he also fell mostly quiet during his streams as well. His moods regarding people seemed to grow in length, as if he was falling into a constant depression. I also felt kinda frustrated because he didn't even respond anymore to me greeting or hugging him, telling him how happy I was to see him, and sending him the things he wanted.

About a week ago, I told him in one of his streams about the plot of a movie I'd seen, telling him because it was so much like a lot of his art. I remember a time when he would've responded by excitedly trying to come up with even weirder movies he'd seen. But he only responded with "ew" (pretty much the only thing he said during that stream), so I left it at that one sentence.

After that stream was over, he made a furious journal wherein he threatened "anyone boasting about owning and consuming CP again" on his stream like in his last one with permanent ban. Knowing I'd been pretty much the only one who'd been talking during that stream, I responded by saying I'd only been quoting a movie plot and gave him the name of the movie. He said he didn't care and kept threatening with ban, acting as if he'd tried to find a reason to ban me for a long time.

It kinda escalated from there. He started blaming me for pretty much everything that went wrong in his life. I responded that this was like all those times I'd talked about to him, where he'd been blaming the very same things on other people due to his moods, and that all the qualities he was damning in me now as making me an intolerable person (such as my scholarly interests) were such that he himself was valuing in himself and talking to me about a lot when he was not in one of his moods.

I guess I sounded kinda harsh because I'd been feeling more and more frustrated due to always giving and keep trying to give him so much, and not even getting back any hugs or thank you from him anymore. I kept bringing up all the things I'd done for him over the years and tried to let him know that I was willing to keep doing them because I wanted to stay friends. But he somehow just took it all as patronizing insults of how he was "dependent" on me or something.

Meanwhile, other people were starting to post in that journal of his. Some were telling Looq that he was kinda overreacting. But most were calling me some random drive-by troll on Looq that was acting foul by "dragging your past history with him out into the open", as if I was badmouthing him. I responded to them with more proof of how close friends we'd always been and all the things I'd done for him (which they called more badmouthing and indiscretions), and because it was affecting our entire exchange on this journal, I literally quoted to them what others of his closest friends had publically said about his moods on others of his journals, how they affected his behavior and how he saw people.

I thought that was alright because others of his friends had often done that publically and he'd never had any problems with that. However, he took that as "questioning his sanity" and insulting him even more, and banned me. First from the ability of ever talking to him here on IB or commenting here, then also from his Livestreams after I'd dared hugging him there and tried to apologize for our harsh talk on his IB journal.

I'm still on his streams as invisible (as that's the result of a "ban" on Livestream), just to be close to him. I miss him. I miss him so much.
Viewed: 75 times
Added: 6 years, 1 month ago
 
ScottyKat
6 years, 1 month ago
Dude seriously. Im not trying to be mean or anything. But you
have a serious problem listening to what people are saying.
No matter what we say you tend to push your own opinion
as absolutely right. Even when entire groups ask you to
drop it you keep going. Thats part of what people find annoying
about you to the point that you get banned. You need to learn
when to let things go for the sake of others. Even if they are
wrong.

If you stopped when people asked you to.. and just let it go. Looq
might not have felt the need to ban you. But you always go too far
in making a point. It makes people feel like your talking down to them.
DaddyDuckyBE
6 years, 1 month ago
I know I have the need to talk things out whenever I see injustice. It's one thing to keep doing what people complain about, but what I keep being mistrusted about is trying to clear up people's misunderstandings when they keep causing hard feelings, be it with me or third people. I'm not talking about Looq here, but some people seem to feel entitled to make others miserable over a civil opinion, and they feel offended when somebody tries to talk things out with them over that behavior that keeps causing problems with a number of people. Again, this is *NOT* about Looq, but yes, I'm sorry that I'm arrogant enough for not being able to stand arrogance.

Now, what did I ignore? Looq said he didn't want people boasting about CP. I never did that, and it bothered me that he kept blaming things on me that I never did. Next he seemed to have the need to blame all kinds of things on me, a pattern that I'd seen him have before with others and that priorly I'd tried to act as intermediary about between him and them. That's why I tried to talk things over for maybe two hours, because now I saw it happening with me and it just didn't stop.

I was never the first or the only one who tried to talk things over with him, but I was the one that he obviously minded about. And yes, I do admit I probably got unintentionally harsh during those two hours, and I've talked about the reasons for that above. I've apologized to him for my frustrated tone.

And yes, after he blocked me, I saw that he'd threatened to do so for talking about things that had been public for a long time due to others of his friends that he never minded about. But again, this was all over a period of 90 or 120 minutes on a journal that was already large enough with comments that I had to scroll for maybe 30 second to get from top to bottom, and I was busy talking to 7 different people in that journal simultaneously that were getting everything wrong. I also told him that, and that I would have respected his wish if I would've seen it, just like I've often made other people respect his wishes, no matter how irrational or silly they considered those.
DaddyDuckyBE
6 years, 1 month ago
*that I'd seen *HAPPEN* before between others and him
ScottyKat
6 years, 1 month ago
What injustice? There's no great villainy here stalking you. We are not out to get you.
We're not out to make you a victim. But you always act like any disagreement is us
trying to control everything you do. Or as if we're trying to hurt you. Even just in
casual commentary. I once brought up a pic i thought was cool and then you
proceeded to bring up a past issue and argue about it.  Sometimes you just
have to let issues go man. Thats all im saying.
DaddyDuckyBE
6 years, 1 month ago
Again, I said, "be it with me or third people" that I'm speaking up for.

Pic? What pic? Did I respond by saying again that I'm just not into anime or what was that about?
ScottyKat
6 years, 1 month ago
my point was that you brought  up an argument over something you could have just ignored and saved people time and irritation.
HoppsinCottintail
6 years, 1 month ago
Ok Listen i dont know really of what is going on your side but here is the real deal. I know of your name thur what other's has said about you. I Dont not know you but i do Know looq. Looq has alway been sweet to me opened minded and willing to help and go out of the way of other's. Being upset about a ban is ok but openly talking about someone befor you talk to them about it is not ok. Plse dont be hard on looq and bad word him he dosent not need that and your just feeding the fire when you do something like this. Plse try to understand i am talking to you as a upset fur but as some one understanding  Not someone who is picking sides. But i am A good friend of looq's So plse befor you all bad word him talk to him get to know him for him.
JeffyCottonbun
6 years, 1 month ago
" DaddyDuckyBE wrote:
We used to talk for hours and hours every day.


I'm sorry to say that you're wrong. You used to CHAT for hours and hours every day. He wanted to talk to you (on voice, of course) but you refused based on a reason that actually doesn't make sense. There's a difference between fantasy and reality that each and every fur has to understand and comprehend more than anything else.
I know the reason but I prefer not to show it in public as you did with some of Looq's personal issues. Just because I respect others' personal lives.
Another thing that I consider as being rude, is the fact that you decided to wash your dirty laundry in public. A wise person doesn't do that.
DaddyDuckyBE
6 years, 1 month ago
Again, I thought what you call "dirty laundry" (and again, I was just trying to say how close we were, which I just wouldn't call "dirty laundry") would be alright, because he never had a problem with others talking about it. I've been the first person where he minded, after he never minded about it with others.
JeffyCottonbun
6 years, 1 month ago
You misunderstood what I meant by "dirty laundry". Let me clarify: If you have personal issues, things that do not concern others, on this website, they should be treated as such.
I seek no quarrel(s) with anyone but I'd blindly do it for
Whippy
Whippy

One more thing: his personal life doesn't pertain to others and I, personally, won't allow it to become a form of entertainment or gossip for them.

DaddyDuckyBE
6 years, 1 month ago
Again, I never made anything public that hadn't been for a long time and that he'd never had a problem with before. Well, I guess except for the fact that he'd asked me if I was autistic. And believe me, I've often fought for Looq during those four years myself. And now it's come to this. I hate what happened during the matter of maybe 2 hours, and I wish I could undo it. Although I'm afraid it could happen again.
JeffyCottonbun
6 years, 1 month ago
You are making public the fact that you have a problem with him.
I really don't understand why others have to know about this ongoing quarrel between you two. As far as I can recall, everything was settled (?) in his journal, a few days back. He decided he doesn't want to have anything more to do with you, now you're basically twisting the knife in the wound.
DaddyDuckyBE
6 years, 1 month ago
So the difference is in a name, I see. We both went public, the difference is I tried to talk openly rather than indirectly (I could call that by other names, but I'm not gonna do it because we're talking about Looq). I talked to him in private for a long time when he made things public. But I'm not complaining.

And yes, I'm sorry for not being able to just throw four years of our lives away and keep trying to get through to him, even if indirectly. I'm sorry for still wanting to be with him. I'm sorry for trying to help him in whatever way I could, and I'll do it again and again and again if he let me. Just like what you're doing now. I thought it would never happen with me because we'd been talking so much about it when it happened between him and others, but it did. You're doing now what I've been doing for four years, and I thought it would never happen to me.
JeffyCottonbun
6 years, 1 month ago
You've been told on various occasions to stop commenting about certain subjects in his streams. I was there.
You didn't want to understand (or couldn't ?)
I'm not digging further into this matter, I know what I know and no one is going to change my point of view on this.
DaddyDuckyBE
6 years, 1 month ago
Until a week ago, he talked about many people having to stop things. I *ALWAYS* was the one who used to respect and enforce his wishes in his stream. For years. Every single fucking time it happened and I was there to stop people from doing what he didn't want to see that time around. And now it's turning against me because I'd been trying to talk in private to him when he felt treated unfairly by others and I began talking to him about that I felt he misunderstood other people as being after him when they weren't. He then started blaming on me what he'd been blaming on other people before, since day one that I knew him. I tried to tell him how random I felt it was when it happened, and that's what made it happen to me.
PeachClover
6 years, 1 month ago
Duck, you have talked to Looq for hours; I have talked to him for years.  You can't say he's your best friend offline, because I know the two of you have never met in person.

Your ban was not some knee jerk reaction.  Looq tried to ask you not to steer the conversation in his streams, he tried to talk to you on the phone, but you want to keep a delusion about his voice/age/person, and he tried to ask you to keep your posts non-freaky.  I've read some of your comments and yes, they even squick me for being so medically obsessive.

The problem here is that you are trying to control Looq by ignoring his desires and pushing him in one direction.  That is why the length between your conversations grew.  The evidence for this is clearest in your attempts to micro manage your commissions from him in stream instead of giving him all the details up front.

Please stop pretending to be a normal person - Even this journal shows your passive-aggressiveness towards Looq for booting you, by trying to make him out to be the bad guy and take you back via peer pressure from those on your side.  However, as you can see, the only people giving sympathy to your case are those who haven't talked to Looq personally.

You act like a doctor sometimes, but you have no concept of "patient confidentiality", because you practically regurgitate every single word another person says at the drop of a hat.  That is in no way friendly, and shows how messed up you are.  What you need to do is delete this journal and straighten out your own issues.
DaddyDuckyBE
6 years, 1 month ago
You're saying a lot of things I purposefully chose not to say even though I maybe felt like saying them at times, be it in public or in private. And you're not gonna make me say them now. Maybe that seems arrogant and "medical" that I refuse to say them and kept trying to make him feel better about himself instead because I felt he deserved it. I continue to feel that he deserves feeling better about himself.

I probably should have talked more to the people that it happened to before during the past four years. Maybe I should've talked more to you for that reason. But I was too focussed on being with Looq and trying to cheer him up.
PeachClover
6 years, 1 month ago
Hush now, duck; you're trying to turn what I said to you around on me, but no, it's still obvious that you did this to yourself.
DaddyDuckyBE
6 years, 1 month ago
You're still not gonna make me talk like your first post. Be it to you, be it to Looq, or be it to anyone else.

If you've been blocked by Looq before (I think you were), I think I'd like to talk to you about it in private. I just wanna know what happened. I didn't pay much attention before. I don't wanna talk to Looq or anybody else about it, I just wanna understand what happened between him and other long-time friends that he's blocked before. I hope it could make me feel better about losing four years of my life if I'd just see their side.
JeffyCottonbun
6 years, 1 month ago
" DaddyDuckyBE wrote:
I hope it could make me feel better about losing four years of my life [...]


Really ? How can you possibly say that ?
All you've done in the past four years has been only about Looq? Everything in your world was Looq ?
Let's get real...
DaddyDuckyBE
6 years, 1 month ago
Some may call that sad, or say that I have no life. At the moment, I can't think of a good defense for trying to be there for him, even though I'd always do it again if I could. Yes, it hurts hearing that he doesn't want me being there for him anymore. It FUCKING HURTS. And I have no defense for wanting to be there for him.

I don't know how "normal" that is. All I know it hurts.
HoppsinCottintail
6 years, 1 month ago
DaddyDuckyBE: hey i dont know you very well but how can you say everyday of your life for 4 years was all to one furson ..Were you two dateing or something i know looq for Umm i think about a year now. and all i know is you have a bad way of truning things back on other's.Looq have tryed alot of times to tell you to stop this and you still carryed on.to say you lost 4 years of your life dealing with looq. is kind of sad really you didnt do anything more with your life just sat on the pc day atfer day atfer day talking to looq waiting for looq needing to be there with looq... ?? hmm think about that. I was with my mate of 12 years and we were not even like that. ?? so plse have me understand how were you that close to him ?
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