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Synhowl

Clinging To Old  Hatreds

I know I just about never post here, but ... this time, I'm afraid, it's necessary. I need to speak my piece on a matter that has recently thrown my name back out into the open, tho I'm not sure what for reason, beyond seeking conflict. While I refuse to engage in such conflict, I do feel that since I am, literally, being "called out", I have the right to speak my side of the situation and offer my feelings on the matter

It's not secret to a lot of people that I used to be entangled in a sordid mess of an organization known as Watch Your Step. Blind, stupid, and overzealous as I was, I foolishly came into it believing that it was a group intended to fight back against would-be trolls and miscreants of the furry fandom, with the intent of making it a better place to socialize. Not only was this delusional on my part to honestly believe that was true ... but over time, I began to see that the true trolls and bullies were -us-. Unfortunately, my eyes were opened far too late to stop a HORRENDOUS situation from occurring.

One of the few things WYS ever did that was positive was coaxing LupineAssassin/Allan to finally start paying back the people that he owed. Someone named Sniff disagreed intensely with the manner in which he was paying back these debts (government funds), and after a time, was becoming increasingly belligerent in his argument. Made worse by the fact that many of the WYS members arguing the matter -with- him were only intentionally trying to provoke him, rather than merely trying to make their point and have a civilized debate. It spiraled worse and worse out of control and before long, Sniff was banned from WYS and made a target, himself.

My first and greatest mistake was EVER trying to get involved, as I only came to learn of what had transpired -after- Sniff had been banned. I wasn't there when it happened, so I should have just stayed the hell out of it. But, again ... I was an idiot. A mouthy, short-tempered, hot-headed idiot. And so I dove in, head first, and made an already volatile situation a MILLION times worse. I accept full and complete responsibility for casting the first stone, and CONTINUING to cast more and more stones. I have publicly apologized for this already, as seen here in this journal comment on a year-old FA journal of mine:

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2054201/#cid:17003513
Here's the key snippet from said comment:

Hell, I'd even apologize for the "I'm going to turn your info over to Anon" bluff I pulled, and the hypothetical pipebomb comment, said in the heat of the moment over on WYS. I regret those, yeah. Now do I regret defending myself against the torrent of gibbering crazy being fired my way by him? HELL no. I only wish I had stopped fueling his fires sooner by just ignoring the massive rage fits from the very start instead of humoring his debauchery via Formspring. THAT I regret, along with the extremist stuff I said and did that just made him go even more psycho. Without having done, that, I wouldn't have NEEDED to take extreme measures to try and protect myself, like filing that police report.

I honestly should have blocked him on FA, blocked him EVERYWHERE else, and just ignored anything he ever tried to say to me from the VERY start. Would have spared myself a world of pain and a lot less trolling from throngs of random boneheads who wanted to get some cheap lulz by spamming my journals with various retarded spellings of "pipebomb". My block list on FA might be smaller, too. *sigh* >_<


I've taken my share of the blame. I could write a War & Peace sized BOOK on my myriad of regrets, surrounding all this. But I can do nothing about the past. What's done is done, and it's gone. No amount of obsessing is going to take me back in time so I can try it again. All I can do now is learn from it, and live better NOW--where I -can- still make changes and be a better person. That's all ANY of us can do. Clinging to the past does nothing but hurt ourselves. It's stagnation, in its purest form. Too many things in my life are far too important to me, for me to surrender to that kind of venomous idleness. I -have- to move on.

Among the things I regret most is the toxic bouts of violent filth I spewed regarding this person, and to those who don't know me, I can see how it truly made me look every bit like some sort of lunatic psychopath. And for that, I will, again, here and now, apologize for my behavior.

I'm sorry for saying such horrendous things to you, Sniff. It was an overreaction to the UTMOST extreme. Despite my vow to never speak to you again ... a true heartfelt apology can't be made unless it's spoken TO the person that's been wronged. So these are the only words I have to YOU directly, Sniff, whether you're reading this or not. I'm sorry for the monster I made you believe I was. You deserve that much, at least, after all the hell I made for you.

To the mass of strangers who don't know me, and to those AMONG those strangers who loathe me greatly, I know what I'm about to say next means absolutely nothing, and will likely be viewed by many as some sort of bullshit excuse. But regardless, I want to clear the air, COMPLETELY. The people who know me best (my mates, family, and closest friends), know that I have a VILE temper, and that I talk an -incredible- amount of shit, the angrier I get. The 10 minute (sometimes longer) tirades of violent horridness that I have often worked myself up into in moments of anger would make even the most hardened of death row inmates blush. But it -really- is just me verbally vomitting out all that anger. The closest I can liken it to is when someone screams out obscenities after stubbing their toe on a table corner. But for me, for some reason, a healthy bout of "fucks", "shits", and "god-damnits" simply don't suffice to purge all that anger out ... and that's where it gets downright nasty. The kinds of things I feel shouldn't be repeated here. But it truly and sincerely is just a lot of hot air. I would -never- raise my hand up against an innocent, or someone that I merely disagree with. Someone would have to come at me first with intent to harm, or towards someone I'm protective of, for me to EVER come to blows. I'm not about to throw my life away and end up in some cell all because I lost my cool and went postal on somebody, for no justifiable reason. I'm a hot-head, but I'm not stupid (well ... MOST of the time, anyway >_<;;). I may disagree with a lot of it, but I -do- know and respect the law. So no, there was never going to be any pipebomb, nor was anyone ever going to be shot by me or my family. Again ... my temper ran away with me, and the angrier I get, the more stupidness I talk. And once again, I apologize for that, as it really did make me look like a deranged she-ogre. I should have chilled the hell out and sat on my hands before typing out that kind of nonsense, just because I was pissed. There's no justification for that, EVER.

It has also come to my attention that someone has mistakenly claimed that I feel that Sniff is deserving of mockery and abuse, and that I have continually insulted him throughout the recent drama surrounding him. Please allow me a moment to set the record straight, to prevent any further rumor-mongering.

I am 200% against ANY form of harassment or abuse, regardless of how innocent or guilty the recipient is. It doesn't make it ANY less wrong, and will always only make the situation much, much worse. I do -not- support that kind of vile behavior ANYMORE. I don't tolerate it. And if I see friends of mine making such remarks (or even total strangers), I -do- call their attention to the matter (privately, so as not to publicly shame them, which I also feel is in poor taste).

The person who has called me out has also claimed that I called Sniff "a retard and lunatic", to use his exact words. I'm sorry, but this is false, and I dislike having words put into my mouth, that I have never spoken.

I stated very clearly that I feel that he is emotionally stunted and irreparably damaged on a deep psychological level, which is why he continues to act as he does (despite having possessed the ability to not let it reach this point, which he squandered away on clinging to hate ... but what's done is done). He is VERY ill, and it's to be pitied--not hated and mocked. I dislike him for past transgressions, but I do NOT hate him, and I truly don't wish any further harm on him. Not from anyone--that INCLUDES my current friends or former associates. He has enough problems now, without anyone making him more volatile and unstable than he already is.

I have stated simple and plain truths, easily proven by his plainly-viewable recent behavior. It's abundantly clear that he is not well, both psychologically and emotionally speaking. I'm sorry if that was misinterpreted to seem insulting or vindictive, but that was never my intention. I genuinely feel pity for the mess he's in, despite the my dislike of him. Because while he WAS harassed, stalked, threatened, and ridiculed ... there was always still a choice. And time and time again, he made the wrong ones. We ALWAYS have a choice, even if it doesn't feel like there is. And sometimes the best choice is the most difficult to see AND choose.

Using myself as an example, I could have chosen to continue fighting and harassing Sniff to this VERY day. I could have ignored the order of the officer who took my report to cease contact with him, and could have kept at it. I could have continued making horrendously-violent comments, trying to make him as frightened and uncomfortable as possible, out of vindictive hatred. Even after the FA Leaks incident, I could have continued lashing out, and even have tried to accuse Sniff of being responsible for it, out of irrational hatred and anger (despite it being a bold-faced lie). Hell, I could have even tried to revive WYS, myself, if I had still believed in their toxic creed. But I didn't. I turned away from ALL of that type of nonsense, made a clean break, and got my shit straight. Sorted MYSELF out. Let ALL my hatred and indignity and self-righteousness go, because I knew that it was destructive. And that's to say NOTHING of the years and years and years of bullying and abuse from my peers during my school years, before it forced me to have to be home-schooled. I could have let that utterly and completely destroy me. I could have let it turn me into a psychopath that would turn on everyone and anyone at a moment's notice, never having any friends or loved ones in my life. But I -didn't-. They tried to ruin me, and I did NOT let them. Sniff could have chosen the same, at ANY time. But he never did. And likely never will. He will hate and hate and hate until his final days. He's THAT stuck. No one should hate him, in my honest opinion. Nor should anyone find any measure of amusement from the condition he's worked himself into. They should truly and whole-heartedly pity him, because it IS a tragic situation. No one should have to live that way.

Sadly, he'll likely deny it to his dying breath, but despite the HUNDREDS of things I did wrong, he did many wrong, himself (most of it being after I broke off all contact with him, and he would continue to randomly try and contact me in angry and hateful ways). All of which I know with absolute certainty that he will always either deny or find some way to attempt to justify it. He is incapable of admitting to any sort of wrongdoing, though I sincerely hope that someday, I'm proven wrong. Because it's extremely saddening to see someone so completely incapable of self-evaluation and reform. Someone utterly unable to accept responsibility for their own choices and actions, forever laying the entirety of the blame at the feet of others. Is that to say that he hasn't been wronged? Absolutely not. He's been grossly mistreated. I won't ever deny that. But people can only destroy you if you LET them. Especially when you hold others responsible for EVERYTHING you do, without accepting any of the blame for yourself. By freeing yourself of all blame, you can't learn from your mistakes and become a better and stronger person. You simply can't. You become trapped. Like he is.

In closing, the Tale of Sniff is a long, terrible, and tragic ballad of misery, horrible choices, and corruption. It played out on the stage of life, two long years ago, and should be sung no more. The cast has disbanded, and the theater has long since gone out of business. It bring us nothing but further misery and suffering, with no possible chance for healing and renewal, remaing mired within the muck and mud of so much anguish and pain. The only way forward is to let go and move on. That doesn't necessarily mean to forgive. Neither does it necessarily mean to forget. No one is required to do either of those things. "Letting go" LITERALLY means...

Letting.

Go.

Release it to the universe. Even if nothing was ever resolved. Let it go. Even if there was never any closure. Let it go. Even if things still remain unclear or unfinished. Let. it. Go. Stop looking for reasons to be angry. Stop trying to explain or justify decisions and actions. Or stop trying to demonize the decisions and actions of those you disagree with. Nobody has to become besties with one another and let bygones be bygones, like nothing ever happened. But by the same token, neither does anyone still have to be at each others' throats, still calling out for war. Merely agree to disagree and go separate ways. It REALLY is just that simple. I've been doing it on my end ever since this all ended over 2 years ago. (2 years and 6 months, to be exact). And even when he began to reappear again a year ago ... once he disappeared again, I continued on with my life. I didn't keep ranting and raving about him to everyone I spoke to. I didn't hound his every step, looking for where he'd pop up next to try and get the jump on him. I truly and whole-heartedly dismissed him from my mind, and cast away ALL the hateful emotions associated with him.

THAT is what letting go is. It isn't forgiveness. It isn't reconciliation. Because sometimes that isn't possible. The scars cut too deep, and too much damage is done to ever set things right again. But just because the bridge can never be rebuilt, doesn't mean its broken halves have to be lit on fire. We can just leave it be.

I truly hope that Sniff and those who consider him friends someday understand this concept. Not for me, or for my benefit, but for their own sakes. Regardless of whether they choose to continue on as they are or make a change for the better, I will continue on as I always have these past 2 years--free of old grudges, looking towards a better tomorrow.

I truly and sincerely hope that they learn to do the same.
Viewed: 23 times
Added: 5 years, 11 months ago
 
SilverJackal
5 years, 11 months ago
This is a very well thought and well written piece, and I am actually glad that you made an apology to Sniff.  Yet the part were you stated him as "VERY ill" kinda went back to picking at the scab again.  If he were reading this, that little part would kinda make him think the apology was only for saving face and not really meant.  Also stating that he had done more wrongs would make it look like most of the blame needs to be shifted to him.  I know it may be to late to reword this, but omitting that part and replacing the "VERY ill" statement with something on the lines of "I am truly sorry he has this to deal with now" or something of a more positive note would really show more heart.

As you have said, the past actions of WYS has taken a toll on Sniff, and that he needs to cope with it.  However at times its hard for him to do so because somewhere, someone comes around and begins to pick away at the scabs.  Sadly Naki does this every so often.  Not by popping up and saying stuff like "Hey Sniff, you're a retard!", but occasionally contacting him trying the whole buddy thing; and then getting snippy when Sniff turns it down.  The snippiness then in turn gets Sniff riled up, and he more or less takes a swipe at Naki.  And Naki blowing the whistle whenever Sniff has his moments doesn't help either.  I am not saying Naki is solely to blame, since I have a feeling that troll king PaleTailFox is doing a big bulk of the torment.  Sniff simply needs to be left alone and given time to heal.  I know the buddy thing of Naki's might be honest and valid, but atm it is too soon to be doing that.  Just give it time.

As for you anger issues hun, might I suggest finding a positive outlet for it?  I know cussing and ranting can kinda help, but with the whole world going for the politically correct thing; becoming the demoness Madame Menstrual and spewing profanity could land you in a place that has locks on the doors and bars on the windows.  Have you ever thought about using art as a medium?  Like take some paint and a large roll of canvas, and just go buck wild with it.  It could help with your anger, and could land cash in your pocket since people love abstract art and pay a butt-load to have it.
Synhowl
5 years, 11 months ago
I'm sorry if it seems offensive, but his behaviors are not of one who is mentally sound. Murderously hating people THIS many years after a dispute, and just randomly insulting one of those people completely out of the blue? Can you honestly, with a straight face, tell me that this is how a sane person reacts to conflict? It's been 2 years and 6 months. Nearly -three years-, and he still is at this. You don't think that would make it seem ill to people seeing him act this way? It's abnormal, and EXTREMELY damaging. I'm sorry, but I stand by my words on that. As I said before, I bear him no bad will. I merely hope that he someday demonstrates that he isn't as damaged, truly, as he has led people such as myself to believe. I truly hope that I -am- wrong, and that he just has a temper as horrendous as mine used to be. But that will only come through demonstrated change, such as I have gone through over the years. And I implore you to please re-read the wording, where I stated that he, too, has made mistakes. I made it abundantly clear that I am the one who has made more mistakes, but neither is he entirely blameless. And as I've ackknowledged and repented for -my- mistakes, the mature and civil thing to do on his part would be to do the same, which has never happened. But that's okay. I've long since accepted that he is going to remain stuck in his ways, regardless of what anyone tells him. As I already said ... letting go is simply that--letting go. Sniff is free to think, feel, and act however he sees fit. That is no longer any of my concern. I've long since given up on there being any change on his part.

I've spoken with Naki about the situation, at great length, since he and I talk through text just about every singe day. He and i both agree that he reacted to Sniff's ... behavior ... in not-so-appropriate ways, and he let that comment on his commission get to him a bit more than it should have. In his defense, I will say that it annoys him when he gets these insulting comments from him from out of the blue, and this last time, on the evasion account, just pushed his buttons one time too many and it made him react as he did. We both agree, tho, that it could have been handled better. That's about as much as can be said about that. I actually was not aware of the fact that Naki had been trying to contact him before in order to try and smooth things over. This is the first I hear of it (to his defense, he knows that anything pertaining to Sniff is usually a "no-no" topic, unless something serious has cropped up again, so he wouldn't have ever told me of that, unless I'd brought up the topic of him first). As for the "left alone and given time to heal" bit ... I have my doubts about that, I'm afraid. I've said and done absolutely -nothing- to him for the past 2 years and 6 months ... and yet he still frothingly and murderously despises me. I think the Mojave Desert will freeze over before Naki or myself -ever- get a civil word from him. But like I said ... that's okay. He does whatever he feels he needs to do, and I'll do the same. Naki has also agreed to do the same and as such, won't be replying anywhere in this journal, so that Sniff can't mistakingly come to the conclusion that Naki seeks confrontation. In this case, due to the fragility of the situation, no news will suffice as good news.

Also, the fact that you and I are speaking civilly (despite some of your comments to be being, well ... -less- than civil) should be evidence enough that I'm no longer the Rage Queen that I used to be. Do I still have my off days? Of course. Who doesn't? But the ranting and raving big-mouthed Syn died a -long- time ago, buried in some landfill somewhere (metaphorically speaking, obviously--I haven't actually killed anybody, LOL). Besides ... I suck with paint and canvas, heh.
SilverJackal
5 years, 11 months ago
Well Naki just needs to leave Sniff alone altogether.  In fact he said in a screen shot that he watches Sniff's accounts just to get a reaction out of him and laugh over it.  This isn't good on your part because then Sniff's anger over Naki watching him to get lulz is passed onto you simply by association.

screencap here- http://www.mediafire.com/view/?4uqbip8xg1dfy#sn1jtzbk6...

Also in an email discussing Naki and Sniff, this is what Sniff said of the ordeal

"Anyways like I said before hes missing the point. Leave me alone. If you don't like a person and you think that they are dangerous or psychotic  why, would you keep poking them in the eye?
Naki needs to just stop, turn around, and walk the other way. I have my limit. I am under a huge weight of stress right now because of losing my apartment and being put into debt. Right now is not the time to fuck with me.

"You saw how he spazzed out after Allan "made up" with Neer."

I wouldn't really call what I did "spazzing out". What the hell was that? Why would you make best friends with a guy who smeared your reputation for years (and who lied about you making death threats just like he did with me) and who everyone you know hates?
I don't get it man. Why is Naki all of a sudden defending Allan? Not too many hours ago he was comparing me to Allan as a way to say how bad I was.

"I can be an ass.  I can admit it though, that's the thing.  If I did crap during that situation that I don't remember that was wrong or whatever then it's my fault and I shouldn't have.  But trying to explain that to him is like pissing into the wind that's the problem."

I don't listen too well when I have been angered.
How has he not noticed that already?
He enjoys poking at me and tracking me down. Hell he rubbed it in my face that he was watching me and that he only did it because it amused him how upset it made me. Of course he later claimed "If Sniff had only unblocked me..."


Sniff has told me that Naki has been trying to contact him over IM, maybe trying to be all buddy and such.  But when you have someone always trying to get lulz out of you, are you honestly going to chat with them over IM?  Of course not.  Like I said, Naki just needs to leave Sniff be.
Synhowl
5 years, 11 months ago
Here's the problem, and I know you're likely going to get upset by my saying this ... but it needs to be addressed. Sniff has a very bad habit of being dishonest about the details concerning an argument, when it comes to the parts that would force him to admit where in the disagreement he's acted incorrectly. This all goes back to what I said before about his inability to take responsibility for his own actions, in that he always has tried to shift the entirety of the blame onto the other party, rather than be able to admit to his wrongdoings. Because when it comes to disagreements, it isn't all one-sided. As the saying goes, "it takes two to tango". Each side is guilty of -something-. And being honest about that and holding oneself accountable for -their- part in the altercation is a huge step towards more peace in our lives. When we self-evaluate, assess our faults, learn from them, and then move on ... we become happier and healthier people, overall.

Sniff has not yet learned this, and won't -ever- be able to, if he doesn't stop twisting details to his favor, and doesn't learn to just retell a situation as-is. The good, the bad, and the in-between. Even Naki is doing this. He's giving the FULL retelling. Even the things that paint him in a bad light, because they're things he did incorrectly (and, this is key, ADMITS to it being wrong). Why can't Sniff do the same? This has always been one of the biggest things that has gotten him in trouble, his temper aside.

Thank you for taking the time to show me the screenshot, but not only have I seen that specific comment in it, but I've been silently observing the whole situation, wherever it was publicly viewable. Here, FA, and YouTube. I've just been intentionally staying out of it because, quit frankly, it isn't my fight, and as I said before, I have LESS than zero desire to get wrapped up in any further drama involving Sniff. That boat has long since set sail. My free time is better spent in a multitude of other things that don't involve meaningless hostile back-and-forths over the internet.

The extent of my "involvement", if one could even call it that, is counselling Naki via texts about this whole thing, and whether Sniff wants to believe it or not, I'm -not- against him in this whole mess. I disagree with a lot of what he's done, yes ... but by the same token, I disagree with a lot of what Naki has done, as well. As I said in the beginning of this reply, no one side takes all the blame while the other remains an innocent victim. When an disagreement happens, BOTH sides have erred somehow. Sometimes one side moreso than the other, yes ... but each side has contributed to the situation in some way.

Simply because Naki is a close friend of mine doesn't mean that I'm going to blindly take his side, no matter what he's done. And just because I dislike Sniff and we have bad history doesn't mean that I'm going to be harshly biased against him, and blow his actions out of proportion. That's not what I do anymore. I'm not above scolding my friends for bad behavior, and neither am I above defending a former enemy, if I feel that they're being treated unfairly without due cause. My only interest is in fairness, maturity, and above all, accountability. People should be held responsible for the things they say and do, no matter the circumstances, and no matter if it "makes them look bad". Despite being furries, we're all still fallible human beings, who can and will make mistakes. Everybody does. But being able to admit to them, own up to them, and learn from them are what set some above the rest. They're the ones people hold in high regard, even if they aren't perfect. At least they're being honest about their faults and are trying to work towards being a better person, with each mistake learned from.
Synhowl
5 years, 11 months ago
Urgh, hate this character limit of replies. >_<;;

Anyway ... In this situation, I feel that both sides share a lot of the blame. Naki shouldn't have kept the watch on Sniff, nor should he have taunted him, as a means to "get even" for what Sniff was doing. Whether or not he should have reported the evasion accounts is a gay area, as far as morality goes, but I'll agree that whether it was the right or wrong thing to do, it -was- wrong to use that solely as a means of getting back at Sniff. It was a bit much for just one douchey comment on a commission. Naki also shouldn't have kept engaging him in arguments, across FA, IB, AIM, and YouTube. The remark encouraging him to kill himself was also in extremely poor taste, and something I vehemently disapprove of (I wrote a HUGE long-winded FA journal a long time ago regarding my feelings on suicide, but that's a tale for another time). He should have really just stopped replying, and waited to see if Sniff could and would settle down on his own, without adding further fuel to the flame.

But on the reverse side, there was really no need whatsoever for that comment to be made on Naki's commission to begin with, as Naki had done nothing to him beforehand in a VERY long time, and it really was just a nasty sucker punch from out of nowhere. It served no other purpose than to convey the message of "hey, just a heads up, but ... still mad at you--just so you know". And really ... what good does that serve? In addition, the threats of violence were HUGELY inappropriate. I was actually legitimately shocked and appalled to see that, given how strongly he felt when I made those terrible violent remarks towards -him-. He has personal experience with how it feels to be on the receiving end of something like that, so I was extremely surprised that he would ever go there, himself. Also, I feel that he was perhaps a bit excessive in his pursuit of further argument. Naki blocking him should have been the PERFECT excuse to just go "wow, he's an asshole, oh well" and just drop the whole thing. Proceeding to try and continue the argument on both AIM -and- YouTube could be misinterpreting as counter-stalking, even tho that wasn't his intention, I'm sure.

Now this part is actually directed to both sides. I get that it's hard to just drop something when someone has done something to REALLY piss you off, especially when it feels like they're "gotten the last word". But ... getting entangled in that mentality is what makes disagreements go from just tiny lil' spats to full-blown drama-storms. I'd like to share with both parties some "words of wisdom" that were once shared with me, and I have since spent the rest of my life learning to live by:

There are times where we must stop and ask ourselves a fundamentally important question; "do we want to be right, or have peace?"

Because the simple truth is that you can't have both. It's impossible. Either you fight and fight and fight to "win" the argument (tho in reality, there are never truly any victors in such situations) and force others to accept your side as the right one ... or you relent the need to be right in the interest of letting go of a situation that isn't worth fighting over. Because sometimes, there IS a time to choose "being right", and fight fervidly for what you believe is right. But then there are lots of times where our lives would have been significantly better had we simply chosen "having peace".
Synhowl
5 years, 11 months ago
Sorry for the comment blitz, but forgot to add one last thing.

I -do- want to say that I -do- commend Sniff on being honest about his inability to listen when he's angry. That's a HUGE positive step. I wish he'd be more candid like this, as it would play much heavier to his favor, and make people less inclined to demonize him and always assume the worst of him.
SilverJackal
5 years, 11 months ago
I believe this lil waltz between Sniff and Naki may have been going on for quite a while, and it may have started back in the WYS days- sometime before the leaks.  As both of us know, Naki has a habit of thinking that he is right about something until he is made to see that he is in the wrong.  I believe he kept trying to contact Sniff to prove a point and/or gloat over something he believed he was right about, Sniff told him to fuck off since the WYS wounds were still open and fresh; and Naki started watching him and sending him snide comments here and there as a way of pestering Sniff for the fun of it.  After a while Sniff grew tired of this and simply wanted to be left alone, yet was unable to put his hatchet down since Naki kept up the silly antics.  Mind you that this is only an assumption based on how Sniff wishes to be left alone- which can show that he just wants all this to die.  He may always bear a grudge, since a lot of the stuff WYS did to him like the ED were really brutal.  However that grudge may smolder out over time if he is simply left alone by those like Naki, since they are constant reminders of all the torment.

As for Sniff being demonized and whatnot, I believe the only people that do that are ex WYS members and their friends.  I know you are fully aware how people reacted when the MOV threads were leaked into public viewing.  Think of all the trolling and griping over people as a big cake, and the stuff being done to just Sniff (3,000 page thread and a ED page shows WYS made trolling Sniff a prime adjective) is the icing on that cake.  Because of all that, it is very likely that public opinion would lean more in his favor than against it.
Synhowl
5 years, 11 months ago
I can personally attest to the fact that Naki has had -zero- contact with Sniff for over a year, up until this latest fiasco. He hasn't been hounding or prodding him. Naki isn't the sort to go seeking a confrontation, he's reactional. His downfall is that the manner in which he reacts is what fans a lot of flames, and when combined with someone who has an EXTREMELY difficult time letting go of anger, it's a volatile combination.

I also regret to say that it isn't merely the formor WYS goons that have it out for Sniff. During the midst of this situation between him and Naki, I was shown by an anonymous third party (for reasons not truly understood by myself, my name was dropped in said thread, hence why the person felt the need to bring it to my attention) a posting from Sniff on lulz.net, in which he states that he's leaving the furry fandom, among other ... not so pleasant things, best not repeated here. Just about every comment therein are from bunches of strangers who still seem to very much view Sniff in a negative light.

What I'm getting at, by bringing this up, is that staying stuck on anger, eagerly trying to keep arguments going, and posting up public fits of rage only "feeds the trolls", as the saying goes. It gives people justification to keep going, "look, see, he's still at it". I know you're his friend and you're doing you're best to stick up for him, which I can truly respect, it does him no favors to defend his every action and try to absolve and downplay his mistakes and wrongdoings. If I had done the same towards Naki's side in all this, we wouldn't be having his civil conversation right this very moment. I would be attacking you and doing everything in my power to downplay and justify Naki's actions, in their entirety. But to do so would be senseless and, most importantly, unjust. I -have- to be fair to every side. And part of fairness is knowing and that while not every side is wholly guilty, neither side is completely innocent, either. And each side must be willing to be accountable for their own actions and learn from their mistakes so as not to repeat them.

Sniff, himself, in his own words, has made an excellent first step. That type of behavior should be further encouraged, as it shows that he possesses the ability to self-evaluate and identify his own flaws. And if a flaw can be identified, it can be worked on and improved over time.
SilverJackal
5 years, 11 months ago
Like I have mentioned before, sometimes Sniff is trying put all this behind him, yet somewhere; someone picks at the scabs and stirs him up.  Every so often, another Sniff thread pops up on lulz; telling people how stupid he is and showing off that ED page you guys made a couple of years back.  Anyone of the former WYS derps that still want to keep shit stirred up could me making these: it could be Sage, Draco; or even Bryan himself and flaunting his stupid "And nothing of value was lost" catchphrase.  Hell even InsaneKangaroo could even be making those Sniff threads just to get attention.  The point is these are forever popping up, and they get Sniff upset whenever he sees them.  And since lulz.net posters could even be the same group of people using many aliases, Sniff doesn't know who it may be; and will likely lash out at anyone who says someone snide in his direction- like Naki for example.
Synhowl
5 years, 11 months ago
The thread I mention was made -by- Sniff, tho, that's the thing. Why he thought Lulz.net would somehow be sympathetic towards his being fed up with the situation and wanting to leave the fandom again, I have no idea.

And -just- to clarify, for the sake of posterity, I never helped to write that horrendous article, I'm glad to say. The screenshots used regarding the Formspring back-and-forths and the InkBunny quarrel were plucked off the WYS thread (my fault for stupidly showing them off, however, so I accept responsibility for my contribution in that regard). My one and only -direct- posting onto that article was the back and front scan of the card I was given by the police station after filing the report. Beyond that, I've never had any direct contact with that article. Thankfully, the vast majority of those screenshots seem to have been removed, from what I can see, tho I'm still not happy about the existence of the article, period. I know that it DOES make it difficult for him to heal and change.

Still ... I wish that he could just stop making the opinions of others matter so much. Yes, it's hurtful. Yes, it's infuriating. As I stated once before, I was relentlessly bullied, harassed, and abused throughout the vast majority of my time spent in the public school system, from 3rd-6th grade. I -know- how painful and damaging it can be. But they only have the power to inflict harm if we LET them. Hell, I still get random "lulz-seekers" from time to time, who only know of me from the days of WYS and try to prod at me with the intention of getting a rise out of me, thinking I'll react as I did before.

And I could easily lose my cool and give them a piece of my mind. But why would I do that? It would only serve to justify their feelings about me, and would pump more angry, hateful, negative emotions into my body that I simply don't need. It's destructive and self-defeating, so I simply brush it off as nothing, because that's what their opinions are to me. Nothing. So why get bent out of shape about it?

Sniff could easily do the same, if he just tried. Why keep giving these creeps the power to hurt him, and further encourage them by reacting to it? If he just brushes it off and doesn't lash out ... he automatically proves them wrong, without having to do a SINGLE thing other than just merrily live his life, ignoring all the stupid petty bullshit people with no life try to start up. But letting them get him all riled up, they win again. Why let them have that triumph? You get what I'm saying?
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