I have just realized I have held a lot of repressed feelings toward a part of school that I had not really thought about. Their "Accelerated Reading Program" stunted my reading ability.
AR was a graded system that forced children to read and be graded on what they read on a point based system less their grades fall. AR books SUCKED because they were all bullshit such as Romona, and other books that I had absolutely no inclination to read because their over the top asshole characters were my sister. Why would anyone want to read a book about the worthless whores with whom they live?
On top of this, all of my teachers threw out blanket statements that none of us read enough without even asking what we read... When I was in third grade I tried to read on English translation of Le Mort d'Arthur and The Canterbury Tales and got berated because they said I was unable to read them. Furthermore, they were so above the AR they weren't open for points. Granted, I had to return the books before I finished them, but they were actually of interest. Oh, by the way, here is an assrape for you: if I remember this correctly, a student could only test on the book the day they returned it, otherwise they were locked out of testing on it for AR points for the rest of, not the school year, but the entire duration of the program, which went until 6th grade, I think.
I am upset because I have realized this negativity has driven me away from books and reading even though that god damned program was meant to encourage a greater appreciation of books and higher reading skills... It has only been in the past two weeks that I have stopped looking at books as impossible mountains to climb and started seeing them as something to genuinely enjoy.
... I wonder if this journal even has a point. Maybe just as a "if this is happening to you here is the pseudo answer"... Why is it nearly every single one of my emotional and psychological traumas happened inside one of the buildings meant for teaching that taught me nearly nothing?
6 years, 4 months ago
06 Aug 2012 10:36 CEST