Welcome to Inkbunny...
Allowed ratings
To view member-only content, create an account. ( Hide )
HimaChita

I'm a coward

I live in an apartment complex and my next door neighbor decided to set an wood burn up tonight. It's nothing unusual, they've done it before, but for some reason they decided to set it closer to our apartment, meaning each time the AC kicks on, we get an strong scent of the smoke in our apartment. It gets so thick that it's hard to smell anything else, it's a little hard to breathe, and it is burning our eyes.

My father wanted me to go outside and ask them to move it, but every time I imagine doing so, I panic and just want to cry. I don't like confrontations in any form, any time someone gets upset at me at work, my pulse immediately races. I think it has to deal with my father, but I am not sure since large parts of my childhood are blocked in my mind. It just makes me feel awful and useless. Hell, I even find myself gravitating to corners in areas or places where I can put my back to, places where I will go unnoticed by most. It just makes angry that I react in such  manners and I try to force myself to act otherwise, but it's far too easy to go back to normal, I hate it.



Bleh, but on the other hand, for an bit of positivity, I'm really loving watching my copy of the first season of star trek the next generation on blu ray. I'm loving the attention to details in every shot, heck, even 10 episodes in, I still marvel every time I see the enterprise, there is so much detail in it now. I absolutely love the details in the planets as well. It makes my trekkie side giddy with glee and reminds me so much how I need to commission my snow cheetah in an starfleet uniform sometime.

Any who, enough for now, talk to you all later.
Viewed: 60 times
Added: 6 years, 2 months ago
 
FurryBunnyj
6 years, 2 months ago
Wow. I wish I could help you. And why doesn't your dad ask them to move the fire himself? Oh, did you get my last message concering the picture entitled "Pachyder Peril"? I'd like your,opinion on my suggestion. Please.
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
My dad is disabled, so he cannot ask. I have to for him unfortunately. And replied to your reply, sorry, it must have gotten buried in my message list.
FurryBunnyj
6 years, 2 months ago
I see. Sorry About asking such a personal question.
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
It's fine hun.
wolfstar124
6 years, 2 months ago
i'm the same way most of the time but that might be due to my slowly increasing insanity
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
Sometimes I feel utterly insane myself, especially when fighting myself in my mind.
King30
6 years, 2 months ago
Don't be so hard on yourself. I hate confrontations myself. I believe the reasoning is thinking for the future. Youkow you'll see these people again and you don't want to be on bad terms with them. At least that's me. ass for sanity there is no insane and there is no normal. There's only what you believe in yourself.
                 -King30  XD
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
Definitely, that is one part. I don"t like idea of people taking revenge on my property.
King30
6 years, 2 months ago
Yep that's how I think too. But if I absolutely HAVE to say something I just say it as politely as possible.
"Excuse me, I'm very sorry to bother you but if it isn't too much trouble, do you think you could move your wood burning over a little please?" Then I'd lie for the guilt effect. "My friend is here and the smoke is hurting his lungs." Then quickly walk away.
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
That's pretty much what I said, then ducked back into my apartment. Heh.
King30
6 years, 2 months ago
There you go! Good job. One important note though. Not wanting to confront someone doesn't make you a coward. It just means your cautious about the possible repurcussions. Don't down yourself k? :D
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
I try not to, but it is far to easy to think otherwise. :(
King30
6 years, 2 months ago
I know what you mean. I actually went through the same thing. What you have to do is not let it happen. When you see yourself starting to backslide into negativity, instantly check it there and start thinking of the good things you do. After a while it becomes second-nature. If you need someone to help you be positive just talk to me. Guaranteed I'll have you laughing or at least smiling in no time or you can apply for a full refund of your purchase!
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
I'm usually like that myself, I'll makes others laugh and smile while usually masking the pain and depression inside. I use to do that technique too, but sometimes my deep depression will instantly override any positives into negatives.
King30
6 years, 2 months ago
I get that. Sometimes the positives just aren't enough to cancel the negatives. That's the beauty of friends though. Even when your positives can't stop the negatives, their positives can help even the playing field. Don't hide the pain from your friends. They may have some solutions that can help. I don't know if you feel the same but I consider you a friend so if you ever need someone to unload all that negativity on, I'll be here for you k? :D
wolfstar124
6 years, 2 months ago
:D mebbeh we can be insane buddies and do crazy hijinx and take a car to the moon? that'd actually be kinda cool...
NoteToSelf: build rocket car
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
Maybe, but I'd rather go to Uranus. *rim shot*
Rudan
6 years, 2 months ago
Nothing to be ashamed of I also am kinda shy (in rl that is) and alot of the time I either take a long time to ask the person something or spend so much time thinking what could go wrong that i lose my chance to ask/talk to the person i need too.
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
I am so shy that I practically always wait for someone to approach me. It's very hard to approach anyone and when they bite my head off, it always sets me back more.
Rudan
6 years, 2 months ago
I do the same thing sometimes! and then if i do get chewed out  It doesn't help with my shyness at all.
Another thing I do is distract myself with the stupidest things instead of asking or think of the stupidest things lol
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
I can get distracted to, but mostly I just forget easily. :(
Rudan
6 years, 2 months ago
lol Yeah forgetting is a thing I do too they say that more doorways you pass the more likely you will forget what you were doing =3
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
My mind does that well enough without passing through doorways. Heh.
mudpaws
6 years, 2 months ago
heh simple what you do is go down the street find a pay phone and call 911 don't tell a lot to them just tell them wear you are and that you smell smoke real bad  then hang up , i did this before when a   neighbor  3 doors  down from my house was having big bon fires  and wanted to start fights with any one who would ask him to stop the smoky stuff ,, and well i got feed up with all the crap and  started calling 911 any time he would do this or  the other thing he would blast loud toons  so yeah  after he ended up paying fines and so on he ended up moving out of the neighborhood ..  
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
I'd do that if it were our last straw. They moved the fire luckily without problems. We still might call the apartment complex owner as it's not suppose to be anywhere close to the buildings.
mudpaws
6 years, 2 months ago
ah kk and yeah i would tell the owners about it
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
We didn't get to today and I don't know if we will.
mobkiller
6 years, 2 months ago
I´d tell the landlord about this if i were you.
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
We were going to call them today, but couldn't reach anyone. Next time to call would be Monday or Tuesday so we won't unless it happens again. Meh.
King30
6 years, 2 months ago
There you go! Good job. One important note though. Not wanting to confront someone doesn't make you a coward. It just means your cautious about the possible repurcussions. Don't down yourself k? :D
RallyReki
6 years, 2 months ago
I really wish i could hang out with you irl, I would help you so much >.<;
and hug you when your pulse is racing.
HimaChita
6 years, 2 months ago
That would be nice. *clings*
New Comment:
Move reply box to top
Log in or create an account to comment.