I live in an apartment complex and my next door neighbor decided to set an wood burn up tonight. It's nothing unusual, they've done it before, but for some reason they decided to set it closer to our apartment, meaning each time the AC kicks on, we get an strong scent of the smoke in our apartment. It gets so thick that it's hard to smell anything else, it's a little hard to breathe, and it is burning our eyes.
My father wanted me to go outside and ask them to move it, but every time I imagine doing so, I panic and just want to cry. I don't like confrontations in any form, any time someone gets upset at me at work, my pulse immediately races. I think it has to deal with my father, but I am not sure since large parts of my childhood are blocked in my mind. It just makes me feel awful and useless. Hell, I even find myself gravitating to corners in areas or places where I can put my back to, places where I will go unnoticed by most. It just makes angry that I react in such manners and I try to force myself to act otherwise, but it's far too easy to go back to normal, I hate it.
Bleh, but on the other hand, for an bit of positivity, I'm really loving watching my copy of the first season of star trek the next generation on blu ray. I'm loving the attention to details in every shot, heck, even 10 episodes in, I still marvel every time I see the enterprise, there is so much detail in it now. I absolutely love the details in the planets as well. It makes my trekkie side giddy with glee and reminds me so much how I need to commission my snow cheetah in an starfleet uniform sometime.
Any who, enough for now, talk to you all later.
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11 years, 8 months ago
02 Aug 2012 04:36 CEST
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