Difference Between Humility
And
Self Condemnation
I became brave enough to log back in to see if I was banned. To my surprise I was not. The forum post I made was locked. Yet, the compassion they had on me was humbling. If not an answer to much prayer. I can condemn myself for being a jerk, but it would not be humility much less a grateful heart.
My art is welcomed and though needs to be relevent is allowed to be spiritual. However, if anything does get removed I know in my heart I need to be content in what remains. My prayer is in the bridges I have made. In that I have not burnt them.
Yet, again muling over my mistakes is not humility. Its instead self condemnation. It is a gift that I am given another chance. If not an extraordinary gift to be forgiven. Not just by others, but also for me to. Its my B-day after all. Celebrated a day early. Mind you I know I need to see my self worth if my birth ws meant to be something.
Family and friends
I was gifted a car and I am hopeful to get my license. Before I could'nt because I had no vehicle to learn in. My family even got critisized merely because they could not transport me to driverse ed or be present for each lesson.
After that it was not possible to find anyone to help me practice unless I had my own car. When I was s teanager I was frightened by the idea of driving. After spending several years walking on the streats I know its a need. Yet, walking on the streats has made me feel a lot more at ease with being behind the wheal.
While it was not successful the driverse ed I did do has removed all the fear of driving. All those years of walking on the roads and carrying groceries has led me here. It seems fictional or that I am dreaming this. I will finally not have to be dependent on others or carry heavy loads far distances.
Plushy tastic
I also got two stuffed animals. One squishimello and the other a small sheap character. I lost all my traditional pillows several months ago due to circumstances. I had one pillow and most of my plushies.
I only lost 2 of my collection with the pillows. Yet, its so nice to have a large squishy pillow to make my bedding more comfortable. Yea, I am a sucker for plushies. I can admit I adore the squishimello bedding.
Lastly
I see my therapist tomorrow due to inclement weather heading in. I suppose I can bring in the recent events. Again, I know I must forgive myself and I must stop condemning my mistakes. Instead I should begin to learn from them. "Even while we were still sinners Christ died for us."
| Viewed: |
1 times |
| Added: |
1 year, 2 months ago
24 Jan 2023 05:41 CET
|
|
|
