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IDKHusky

Enough is enough.

"Life is a dark, horrible chasm of despair, punctuated by brief moments where you get beer and breasts" -Lazlow, Grand Theft Auto V 15:35
...He pretty much described what adult life is like in this dimension down to a T. Just for fun... er- whatever, I'm going to put a spin on that quote to describe my life.
"Life is a dark, endless chasm of coping and despair, punctuated by brief moments where you get yiff, Bad Dragon toys, furry conventions and fun gaming" -Velian Glacier, a husky trapped in a dimension where he doesn't belong.

Important quotes aside, this is it, the final year of my life, a life I never wanted or asked for. Enough is enough, I have had it with scraping along in existence as a normie human, working a pointless job to fund my pointless life. I'm going to continue to do so for only a few more months to save up to enjoy one last local furry convention downtown this summer with my friend, one last brief moment of temporary happiness with my furry peers.

"but Velian, people will miss you."
Short term yes, long term no. Everyone I know has a better life than me in some way. The initial shock of me being gone forever will make them sad for a little while, but they will soon move on with the things in their lives that actually make them happy.

"but Velian, there are services that can help you."
Mental health support people, no matter the profession, are people you pay or visit for free to get a metaphorical hug, it's pointless.

"but Velian, there are anti depression medications you can try."
I don't want emotions that are induced by medication, such emotions are fake and artificial. I want to live an eternally happy and uncomplicated life as a young furry, not use medication to pretend that I am.

"but Velian, there's more to life than just sex, even sex as a young adult."
Let me repeat the quote I shared:
"Life is a dark, horrible chasm of despair, punctuated by brief moments where you get beer and breasts"
That is what adult life is, sex is one of the few things to look forward to as an adult, maturity and wisdoms are meaningless.

"but Velian, what if you did lose your virginity within these coming months or even at the local furry convention this summer?"
That would be wonderful, yes, but it wouldn't really fix my life or give me eternal and uncomplicated happiness. Knowing my luck with things in general, I would likely screw the sex up anyway, leaving the bottom or top fur unsatisfied and sad, hell, I can't even last very long inside a sex toy without almost prematurely climaxing.

I hate my human father, I hate him for conceiving me, giving me a life in this dimension that I didn't want or ask for. I was once just a peaceful egg residing in an ovarie, why couldn't he have just left it alone and not bothered me?! Well fuck him and fuck the world.
I'm just aimlessly typing at this point.
Goodbye
Viewed: 96 times
Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
 
eliteshyguy
1 year, 2 months ago
*hugs you*
VahVahVahVixen
1 year, 2 months ago
Poor thing.
Knightshade
1 year, 2 months ago
Deadpool once said "Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness."
I can relate...
But a wise cartoon rabbit reminds me that"a laugh can be a powerful thing, sometimes in life it's the only weapon we have"
What I'm trying to say is this https://youtu.be/i6H2iUMqhSY
Knightshade
1 year, 2 months ago
Don't let this rollercoaster we call life end you...we are here  should you need us, for any reason at all
VahVahVahVixen
1 year, 2 months ago
Life is a treasure you only get one don't waste it I know things are bad but you must except it a move on with your life.
Ending it is not the answer nature decides when its your time if its your time you go if not you'll be spared stay strong its not your time yet not by a long shot.
Fetterfetti
1 year, 2 months ago
" Mental health support people, [...] are people [...] to get a metaphorical hug, it's pointless.

Have you ever used such services?
In my Opinion (as such a person) this is for huge part Bullshit. Such Peopel are there to help (in the case of depression) a person structur there day. And confront negativ belifes about the world/ other peopel / yourself. (Witch is like the opposite of a hug) they try to help you see light in the darkness. But I know there are some peopel in my field of work witch are on the builidng connection/ comforting part for a (in my opinion) to  long time. Witch as far as i follow your jornals would be the wrong intervention for you.

" I want to live an eternally happy and uncomplicated life as a young furry, not use medication to pretend that I am.

Thats not how this works. It lighten your mood (atleast some medication) and can increas your drive to do things. Like bring you in a not dark space of mind. But if  bad things happen you still will be sad. And if you dont do anything it wont be happy (probably) The sad part of this is there is no sutch thing as a " eternally happy and uncomplicated life as a young furry" there is eternal youth or happines and the brain isnt even build for the latter. I`m not a fan of Antidepressants for a long time ... because of reasons i can explain if inrested ... but the "No worry pille" like in the simpsons is a work of fiction. The only "Kiss my Ass" medicin i know are painkillers but thats one od the reasons why there not prescribed for a long time and are higly addictiv.

There are parts in the journal i agree withe like :
" That would be wonderful, yes, but it wouldn't really fix my life or give me eternal and uncomplicated happiness.
But all in all i would recomand you give    Therapy a try in the state of mind you are in.
I know you most likley will not but i will give my recomandation as long as you put out jornals. Its sad (but understandable) to see in what state of mind you are in.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
ZwolfJareAlt306
1 year, 2 months ago
I'm sorry you feel this way.
Is there anything positive in your life right now? If so, try to focus on that and look for more of it.
Sending good vibes.
Mvindo
1 year, 2 months ago
hopefully you won't go ahead and do anything permanent

however if you do leave us, there are people here who are really gonna miss you. just bear that in mind
Reizinho
1 year, 2 months ago
I felt the same way, before being forced to attend to therapy and then improving. I now regret being suicidal back then.
By the way, I'll be gone for a week while my PC is on repairs.
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