So, I have a rather serious question that I would like my "friends" to answer for me.
I know I'm not the greatest at keeping up with everyone, what with having to work all the time to support my mate. That and coupled with my website work and hobby projects, it tends to mean I don't have too much to talk about that is interesting, especially when a subject matter is not presented for me to discuss.
Hell, if you gave me control of the conversation, you would hear more about my work and my website projects. Yep, that includes TNSC too.
So, heres my question:
Am I soo terribly boring and useless to all my "friends" that once I introduce them to my mate, they decide to no longer talk to me and give all their attention to him?
This is nothing new. It happened in my past relationship, which ultimately FAILED. So when it continues to happen, and I continue to be ignored by people who claimed to have cared about me, it makes me feel extremely miserable.
Hell it was so bad last night when I had that feeling that I was contemplating bad things.
I almost literally stormed out at 3 AM on the verge of taking my car off a bridge. (Not that I expect anyone to give a shit about that. I do pay attention to 2, and that's why I didn't do it.) I also realized that if I had done that, none of you would really give a rats ass, and I would have made a stupid mistake based on a temporary hardship. Hell, if I were to die tonight, I'm willing to bet most of you wouldn't bat an eyelash. Sure, some of you may come to kick me into a hole, but soon enough you would forget I even existed.
The reason I _know_ this last part to be true is that SO many of my "friends" have completely removed me from their lives, simply by not talking to me in AGES. Many of them even refused to reply to my messages. In the past year alone, I have removed almost everyone who once said they cared about me from my messenger lists. Why? Because half of them are never online anymore, and the other half simply don't talk to me.
Out of all seriousness, I _maybe_ have 4-5 people who will talk to me daily, and its usually just a simple hello.
But whenever my mate comes online, or trots into a chat, he gets sorrounded by people. Many of them trying to get into his pants, and most of them were MY friends.
Now, I did discuss this with one of my friends who still talks to me a bit. He talks to us both, though I personally feel he gives Mixy more of his attention. His answer to me was that I'm always there. I'm always online. He told me he rarely sees Mixy and will henceforth give Mixy attention when he does.
Mixy does not work, and could be online more often than me. But he doesn't because he likes to have his gaming time. As for me, I'm online daily because I need to get on and work on the sites. But I also work full time.
I love it when my friends say hello and snuggle up with me. It really helps me to relax, considering that my hobby isn't all to relaxing at times.
What I don't understand is why so many of my friends have been ignoring me and spending time with Mixy instead. It makes me feel used and upset. Especially when some of them were able to show as offline to me and be online and talking to him.
Also, thanks to a certain Daemon, there have been more changes to my fursona. The Description on my personal homepage http://drako.funurl.com explains the changes and I am looking for an artist willing to draw it.
I'm not going to speak to you as someone who is pretending to be your friend, since obviously you don't know me and I don't know much about you, but I will say this as someone who thinks they understand the situation and is kind of in the same boat. Well, not on your side of the boat, but on your mates side. While I worked my mate was "on" more then I was and people talked to him more, while he's playing games now and I'm not working they pay more attention to me now since he's rarely on.
I don't think it's that you are boring, and no i don't agree that people would care less if you died, i always believe that someone will care, and many would be affected by it. I just believe that since you are busy all the time that people would take more to the person less busy and would appear to have more time to pay attention to them. Where you are more busy, maybe it seems to them that you don't pay as much attention as they would like. I'm not saying you aren't paying attention, but to some people they may perceive it as that. But this is just an idea, not really sure if it makes a difference saying this, just giving an observation of my own on a similar scenario.
I hope that your true friends reveal themselves and you are given the happiness you deserve.
I'm not going to speak to you as someone who is pretending to be your friend, since obviously you do
