At the request of friends i am giving updates...however dont expect replies...in my current state...the less contact i have with people the better(for them)
I have been doing everything i can think of to get this rage under controle before i become a slave to it like Bruce Banner or Saeki Kayako.
I have done serious meditation and thought and come to a conclusion....the anger is feeding off of the loneliness i am feeling since moving into this apartment...alone 24/7.
May have some reliefe however...
has informed me that by next week he will have healed enough from his fall on the ice to spend a few weeks with me in this apartment...this is good...my mood always improves when i am around him...it is imposable for me to feel any pain or anger when he and i are snuggling in the nude...i feel only love.