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soulgryph

I am??? Am I?

Eminem said it best

I am whatever you say I am.
This is fundamentally both true and untrue. You aren't normally what people say you are and most the time your about the furthest thing from that if people speak negatively about you.

If you say I'm something that's your truth of the matter.

Iv been pondering what to do with my art and how I should move on. I feel my name is tarnished.
But all tarnished can be king of their realm. Thanks FromSoft.
I'm tired of letting my old useless self-negative thoughts control my actions.
I know I'm not an asshole I just have opinions and I need to own up to that.
Wow. Its almost like I'm human an artist, a furry, a semi-lonely guy who just wants to actually fit some were.
I have a job now so I can just do art and be an artist free of (real or imaginary) restraint now.
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 I am still hurt by LynxBrush blocking me.

 This hasn't gotten out of my head due to how instantly her actions changed my opinion of her as a person, an artist and a professional. I had many plan to possibly work out more art with her. I had plan so incorporate her character in a story I spent a lot of time on and cared about. It hurt me deeply to see my inspirations involving her go from 100 to 0. instantaneously and without fair reasoning as I never did anything directly to he but like her work.

 Also doesn't hurt that she ignores, and blocks all my requests to be un-banned (2 attempts, 1 per year). Eh whatever. Your life, but I'm not gonna treat you like your not as asshole to me when you've done nothing but prove me right.

 If you don't care about this well that's fine. This isn't a journal about that I'm merely stating my thoughts about that situation in current form as I'm mostly over that but others want me to forget it as if it never happened.

 Well it did happen but fanboys of LynxB can only see her side. As If my side doesn't matter and all Iv done doesn't matter. I ask, why does all shes done matter to you more than all Iv done?
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 I'm also open for commission. however, I'm very time limited now so I will only accept 1 at a time now. I will be more choosy with what commissions I accept now to. I will likely take more time than I used to on it. It is likely to be more expensive as the cost of living is just forcing me to do so. Though I'll try to keep is as reasonable as I can. 30$ for sketches, and 200$ for 4k resolution full background images should give some idea of my range.

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 I'm coming back and keeping my name. Free from PAD and done being told what to do when all I want to do in reality is make friends and art. Starting tomorrow I'm gonna do some art streaming as often when I get home as I can. usually midnight EST.

 For those who stuck threw this open-thought journal to the end I do have a question for you. Also Thanks.

What subject would you like to see me draw more? Example - Pokemon, Anthros, Canines, Ferals, OCs, Humans, DnD chars, Anthro Cubs, Elden Rings???? go crazy but be specific listing what you'd like to see. I'm trying to get a more broad feel for what my fans would like to see since TLK is starting to stale on me for a variety of reasons.
I'm not guaranteeing popular topics will be drawn right away as I do like to have an idea of the source before I draw them. But I will look into them.

Viewed: 92 times
Added: 2 months ago
 
Raptorzzs
2 months ago
Well... I am not sure what is true.. or what isn't true. That is a subject I am working out for myself. I am not sure how or why your still trying to pursue anything with lynxbrush. I would imagine that if she blocked you.. she does not want anything to do with you for good or for ill. I don't want to tell you what to do of course but may I respectfully suggest that you leave lynxbrush alone? You seem to be obsessed with her... I can't imagine that being good for your mental health. You stalking her everywhere probably isn't helping your case. That and with all the energy your wasting on that subject... would that not be better spent elsewhere?

Regardless moving forward. TLK has always been my favorite subject. Anything feline or raptor would be aces. I do hope things get better for you and I'll I can do is wish you the best of luck with your pursuits.

Kindest Regards
Raptorzs

soulgryph
2 months ago
I guess by definition obsession fits, but its more a nagging thought in the back of my head.

A lot of is is my living conditions have been shit for 2+ years we were gonna fix right before Covid hit... then Covid hit. I don't have a lot to cling to. even less good.

I would like to state I'm sorry about the timing of my remark on PAD. I wasn't trying to hurt you with it was just poor timing to bring it up in the first place. But that also bugs me. I will probably return to TLK art I'm just taking a break from it while collect myself. Iv been connected to TLK for far to long to leave it totally. I also love lions anatomy in general.

Also, I'm not stalking her unless trying to reach out to her once a year is enough in your eyes to count. o.O
Raptorzzs
2 months ago
Well regardless of a nagging thought or obsession. In my experience I know that there are some things cannot be fixed. I can only say that it may help you to move on and leave lynxbrush completely alone. While I understand your need for resolution the once a year thing equates to me trying to text an ex once a year. My two cents. In regards to PAD. I have no idea. I joined mostly to make friends and for TLK art. Is what it is. So no drama there.

I am sorry your living conditions have deteriorated. Covid has not been anyones friend. I have lost a great deal to that madness. That is all I wish to say about that.

Again it’s not for me to judge.. the once a year thing just has the vibe of obsession and texting an ex parter year after year… my observation..
Tigerriser
2 months ago
I agree with Rap on this, mentioning her in almost every post doesnt accomplish anything, she doesnt want to forgive you and doesnt want to have anything to do with you. You just annoy her more. It would be better to let her alone.
I watch you for a time now and you really seem obsessed with her.
Move on buddy, its better for you, and dont try to fix whats forever broken.

Also i hope you continue with art.
soulgryph
2 months ago
The worst part is I know your both right and Iv tried getting it out of my head quite a few times but like I said it just keeps coming back. I do want to focus on the art now which is kinda why I turned away from the art type that's bugging me more on some level. I'm not giving up TLK art either.  Just breaking from it.

 Also, I do want to say thanks for responding Tigerriser . For whatever reason I had it in my head that you were one of the ones I thought was most turned off by me as far as TLK fans go. I'm not currently sure why though but I think the reason passed in my head a long time ago but the thought remained. I wish I could understand why my head jumps to odd conclusions so easily to.
CrunchyCapt
3 weeks, 6 days ago
I'd like to see more feline bondage specifically yuumi from league or sprigatito
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