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Trolls in Nature

As anyone with an internet connection can tell you, trolls are a constant problem on the information super highway.  However, few people seem to bother thinking too deeply about why this is so.  Why are they here in civilized lands instead of wherever their natural habitat is?

Alas, the encroachment of human development has indeed caused habitat loss for trolls.  Thanks to an inadequate amount of bridges for them to nest under and a lack of wild food to snark on, trolls have been forced to migrate into more civilized climes, thereby coming into greater conflict with people.

Another contributing factor to the boom in the troll population is a decline in the numbers of the trolls' primary predator: the billy goat gruff, Capra asper.  Unusual among caprines in that they actually will eat garbage, the billy goat gruff is listed as endangered on the IUCN Red List, although some scientists are lobbying for their status to be changed to critically endangered.  Unfortunately, conservation efforts are hampered by a lack of funds and by the widespread myth that billy goats gruff are themselves bullies instead of a necessary part of the ecosystem.

Please, think about contributing in some small way to environmental groups like the WWWF (World Wide Weblife Fund) so their efforts to reduce the troll population is not so Sisyphean.  Every little bit helps!
Viewed: 12 times
Added: 6 years, 1 month ago
6 years, 1 month ago
What's sad is that only mature billy goats gruff are capable of taking on a troll. Younger goats just get eaten. So in the mean time, what about putting a bounty on trolls for a season or two?
6 years, 1 month ago
Unfortunately, the problem with that strategy is that anything that's able to pierce a troll's hide is illegal for a civilian to own in most countries.  Sure, we could wait until daybreak, when trolls become lethargic and indistinguishable from stone, and start wielding sledgehammers, but then we'll end up smashing quite a few innocent rockets.  Unfortunately, we've got the pet rock activists complaining it's not gneiss.  Whatcha gonna do? :\
6 years, 1 month ago
Make that "a few innocent rocks" instead of "a few innocent rockets".  The problem with most of my typos is that they still end up being spelled properly. :o
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