So for a while I've been trying to salvage a friendship with someone after things went a bit wrong. Today I got this message:
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"Hey. I’m replying because I don’t want you to keep thinking this can be saved. We have reached an endpoint with the friendship. I’m sorry it’s ended this way.
It is a miscommunication and I don’t think you ever have any intent to harm.
However I am vulnerable. I can’t afford miscommunications to happen and I was harmed. I can’t put myself in a vulnerable position like that again."
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What happened was that he and I had a fling some months ago, and after I left and returned home, I learnt that his circle of friends told him off for doing something that wasn't prearranged (the fling), because they believe he is unable to consent in the heat of the moment. I started panicking because that means I technically committed statutory rape; he assured me I didn't, but after I pointed out some past experiences and how people may not see it that way (one of his friends is a lawyer), he 'congratulated' me for identify my panic and anger as 'being caused by past trauma'. I got pretty damn angry at that, especially as he was also 'kissing and telling' and he wouldn't let me talk to his circle of friends because 'they are stressed' and some are at risk of losing their jobs, seemingly forgetting that I was already in that position.
However, despite all this, I felt it was salvageable because it was mostly a miscommunication, but he doesn't want to take that risk now.
I feel numb, but constantly second-guessing myself. I don't want to be the enemy.
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2 years, 7 months ago
13 Sep 2021 01:48 CEST
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